Ask Me Help Desk - Girl issues

Girl issues

So my "ex-gf" and I have been on a break right now cause she said "she isnt ready for a relationship yet" and I can understand that seeing that I'm a jr and she's a soph in high school, but now although I'm still attracted to her, I have become very attracted to her best friend who introduced us. And I'm pretty sure her friend has some interest in me seeing that we talk very often, usually more than I talk with my "ex-gf," and we usually joke around how her h/u with me would be really weird, but we seem to be getting closer to each other. And I know my ex still has some interest cause she found out that I h/u with another girl this weekend after a party, and we discussed how I was drunk and I apologized, but she was still shocked. But now I don't know what to do I really like my ex and would pick her over any girl IF she was more mature and ready for a relationship. I also really like her friend and we connect so well, and I know she is more mature... what do I do?

I can not tell you what to do, but I will ask you after I hit you over the head. Why did you apologize? You did nothing wrong. That was one of your biggest mistake. Your on a break, she is on a break. She has no right to react that way, she is the one that wanted a break. Although it probably made her rethink what you might mean to her, by her seeing you together with somebody else. I say it is her loss, her own fault. I know it may be hard, I know it may be a rough road but You are looking for somebody more mature, somebody you connect with. Sounds like you have that. Now it is up to you to do what you think will make you happy not somebody else.

Joe

If your on a break you can do whatever you want. Date others and have a good time.

Keep on doing what you've been doing and have fun. Only leave out the getting drunk part. Your girlfriend said she's not ready for a relationship so you certainly don't have to sit around and wait for her. Get out and have fun with this other girl and your other friends as well. Don't even worry about your girlfriend. You've got nothing to feel guilty about.

Indecisiveness can be an annoying character trait. However, just because she can't make up her mind does not mean that you should follow suit. If you want her back you will have to take her as she is with no complaints, if you want someone who is more mature who isn't your ex then I suggest you h/u with that person, if you want you can also remain unattached and just enjoy being young and a student. Either way, you need to make a decision and stop waiting for your ex, stop waiting for her to be mature and you show her maturity.

Enjoy!:)

That ex-girlfriend of yours is either a player or a player in the making. She might not realize what she's doing yet and I don't think you realize what your doing yet but in the game of love you two are out playing your winning and playing her and she can't stand it. Let's see what I mean….

Quote:

Originally Posted by tingoo

So my "ex-gf" and i have been on a break right now cause she said "she isn't ready for a relationship yet" and i can understand that seeing that im a jr and she's a soph in high school,

In other words she's possibly interested, loves the attention you provide her but wants to shop around first keeping you there as a backup plan.

Quote:

Originally Posted by tingoo

but now although im still attracted to her, i have become very attracted to her best friend who introduced us.

Thus creating jealousy for your ex. Again, I realize you didn't plan this but a girl such as your ex who likes to control people's emotions, this sort of thing strikes back at them really hard. Now they ex can't only control your emotions, she can't control the friend. Jealousy creates value. Sad but true.

Quote:

Originally Posted by tingoo

And im pretty sure her friend has some interest in me seeing that we talk very often, usually more than i talk with my "ex-gf," and we usually joke around how her h/u with me would be really weird, but we seem to be getting closer to each other.

Yeah, the friend sees how well you treated the ex so you already have value with her. By not running down your ex like some people do when they break up she also sees you as a stable guy. For all you know the ex has been running you down, but you've gone the high road. That's creates attraction in the female.

Quote:

Originally Posted by tingoo

And i know my ex still has some interest cause she found out that i h/u with another girl this weekend after a party,

See my statement about jealousy. Your ex suddenly realized you have value. She suddenly realized others were interested in you. She realized she can't control you. Again in the game of love you two are playing you won this round.

Quote:

Originally Posted by tingoo

and we discussed how i was drunk and i apologized, but she was still shocked.

But you lost this round. You should never have apologized. In fact you should have point blank told her, “you choose to end the relationship, I'm not going to wait around for you.” By apologizing you let her control you again, for something she has no business being upset about.

Quote:

Originally Posted by tingoo

But now i dont know what to do i really like my ex and would pick her over any girl IF she was more mature and ready for a relationship. I also really like her friend and we connect so well, and i know she is more mature...what do i do?

Well, I personally think you ex is manipulative and would advice to steer clear of her. That being said, if you want her, I'd repeat what you just wrote above to her. Tell her if she's ready you'd like to start something with her, but if she's not you regret that you are and will be moving forward with your life and wish her the best with her future.

You need to stay out of the relationship for a while and start going out and seeing what other girl potions the world has for you! Also, you should sit her down and tell her that things happen for a reason and looking for somebody might be a good descison! If you need more help then talk to me

You have done anything wrong, you shouldn't have apoligized. You two are not together. If she don't want a relationship, that clearly states you are free to do what ever you want. You can talk to any girl you want.