Ask Me Help Desk - I need to save my relationship...

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Darling, 6 months is not enough time to start being with someone 24/7. This is against the Do's And Don'ts Of A New Relationship.

What usually happens is you put so much of yourself into this person but you hardly know them. This is equivalent to having 500 billion dollars and giving it to someone because they said they will go and buy you the house you've always wanted.

What do you think your chances of having them come back would be? Next to none considering they've gotten everything that they could have possibly ever wanted.

And I used this example for a reason. You have given him your most prized possession your mind or your perspective of life.

As the cliche' goes, the best way to kill the body is to cut off the head. The meaning of this can be linked to the above example of the crook; as long as they know that you will be there waiting on them to come back (with the house you sent them to buy for you), the further they can get away.

And by the time you realized you got ripped off, they will be long gone. You are way too valuable and smart to "go out like that."

I can't say that you are about to loose this guy, but I do believe that you are doing too much too soon. You should just kick back and let the work you already put in take effect.

Hope this answers your question!

REFERENCE(S)

1. Lynn Norment, The do's and don'ts of the new dating rules(Online: FindArticles/Ebony, 1997) http://www.findarticles.com/p/articl...53/ai_20060487

Sorry to break this to you, but this relationship is not real serious at all. What you should do is when there is a break up that's it, its over. You sound clingy and you sound desperate and sound like a very jealous person. Who wants to put up with crap like that? You need to end it. Get out of it. You need to figure out why you get so insecure and jealous and clingy. Figure that out for yourself. Improve on yourself and maybe in the future sometime you will begin to get back into a serious relationship but what you described to me was the opposite.

Joe

Well I know this means absolutely nothing to you but high school romances rarely work out. High school drama as we will address in a second, is not real life. People act in ways during high school that is ridicules in the real world. People at age 16 are completely different people in terms of friends, interests, maturity, and understanding then they are at 20. By the time you reach 24 your different then you were at 20. People keep changing as life moves forward and come completely different people which is why so many high school couples will never make it. In fact many of your friends will be gone in soon after high school is over for the very same reasons. That's life. That being said lets look at what you said and see if we can't help you out.

Quote:

Originally Posted by XbellaX88

Well me and My boyfriend have been together for 6 months... He was a great person, he was someone who i can laugh with and tell jokes too. I never worried about him talking to to other girls. He took me everywhere and we were together 24/7, but after a while the 24/7 thing wasnt a good idea.

It never is. After the initial butterflies wear off you have nothing to talk about and nothing to share. You've got to do things for yourself throughout the day that you can bring to a relationship and share at time when you get together. Furthermore, if focus all you time on each other you lose any idea of who you are. You don't do the things for yourself that make you happy which eventually you start taking out on each other. As Wildcat (one of our posters) says the other person in a relationship is part of your life, not your whole life. The moment they become your whole life, it's over. If you give someone everything, then you have nothing else to offer.

Quote:

Originally Posted by XbellaX88

sure we got attached, but we started to argue over silly things and he was gettin fed up.. he broke up and got back together almost every week.. I could tell he really cared.

So you gave yourselves to each other and then when you had nothing left to offer….. you started fighting. And of course the fighting was supposed to solve the problem but you continued hanging around and the fights got worse, and you continued fighting, and they got worse, then you broke up….but only for a day and got back together and continued fighting until the next breakup.

Quote:

Originally Posted by XbellaX88

but he was an extremly jelous person and that would get me mad and i would always yell and at times i'd curse at him, and i regret it so badly, we had silly imature fights and the drama from highschool was making it worse.

To curse at someone is a pretty unattractive trait. Guys generally don't like being called names to begin with but to start swearing at them really doesn't make you look to good in our eyes. If you got a problem with a guy swearing at him will NEVER solve it. In fact it will make it worse even if he doesn't say anything back, because he will remember it.

Quote:

Originally Posted by XbellaX88

he got fed up and said he cares bout me but he said its not gonna work out.

Oh he did remember it and broke up with you.

Quote:

Originally Posted by XbellaX88

His friend tells me he still cares but I gotta wait for things to get better,

They are right. You guys spend way too much time with one another.

Quote:

Originally Posted by XbellaX88

but recently i found out that another girl has been sending him texts and talking to him. I didn't really make it a big deal because guys always look for other girls when their upset.

Perhaps.

Quote:

Originally Posted by XbellaX88

I'm really heartbroken because he was my best friend. I know in a way it affects him to but i can't take being friends. We've been broken up for a week and we still do talk but not as before.

It's a week.

Quote:

Originally Posted by XbellaX88

We've kissed a couple of times because i guess we werent use to this break up. usually when we break up we'd get back the same day but now i can't believe it. Ive noticed that when I don't call him he calls me,

Well that's a good sign for you.

Quote:

Originally Posted by XbellaX88

but I dont know my mom says i should just wait it out and he'll be back but him talking to another girl is hurting me to much. but I act like i dont care so i dont make her important.

Your reactions are the correct ones. Don't pay her any attention. That being said, you've got to step back from this situation and give it some breathing room. You can force him to like you because you see what it did last time.

Quote:

Originally Posted by XbellaX88

What should I do, I really don't know what it is now , we were VERY serious and he said I was his first love, but how do u let go of a first love, maybe he didnt know what love was. What can I do about this now?? It shows he cares less each day..

Well the truth be told, neither of you know what love is. What you have is infatuation or the love of someone liking you. Six months is not serious. Continue to pull back and do some things for yourself like you did before you got together. Follow some other interests. You must start taking more of your life back for you.

We took the time to respond to your problem which other people could relate to or learn from and you took it down?

I hope he drops your uncaring, ungiving, ungrateful butt.

Guess she did not like the advice she received. Too much truth. It scares some people away.

Quote:

Originally Posted by Jesushelper76

Guess she did not like the advice she received. To much truth. It scares some people away.

That it does but I just find it incredibly disrespectful when we take the time to answer. I admit that sometimes start going overboard but when I start typing it just comes out of me. That being said it really bugs me that I would give my time to try and help someone and they just remove their post. If you don't like what we say great, but at least let others get something from it. I'm ranting and rambling again.

That's okay, Ranting and rambling is something I do as well. Your right it is disrespectful. We all volunteer our time here to help others. Some people probably do not even take that into consideration. That is called immaturity.

Joe

Thanks to the excellent analysis, chuff, I get what the poster was saying even though they deleted it. Thanks.