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Is it normal for my boyfriend to be masterbating to porn with out me even while I'm home and he is upstairs and I'm down stairs? We have sex pretty much every day so why is he doing this? Is he getting bored of me? It makes me feel kind of crappy about myself knowing he is getting off waching other girls and it makes me self conscious wondering if he rather look at them then me.
Also I am going to be 24 in a week and he is 31.
Is this the same boyfriend from July?
Quote:
Originally Posted by maddy308
If it is, please explain how he aged a decade in a month.Quote:
Today 07:04 PM
Maddy308 Also I am going to be 24 in a week and he is 32.
If he isn't, then maybe you need to slow down.
I'm sorry I meant to type 31 instead of 21. An yes it is the same biyfriend
What is normal for one couple may not be for another.
If this upsets you, you need to sit down and have a discussion with him about your concerns. Together, you should work out a compromise that takes care of both of your needs.
That said. It is common for people (not just men) to masturbate when their partner is home. It can be for a variety of reasons. Only he can tell you his.
Communicate with him. He can't know that this upsets you until you tell him. Don't expect him to give up pornography and/or masturbation. Instead, expect him to work with you on making certain that his 'hobby' doesn't interfere with the rest of the relationship.
There is no normal, do you join in watching the porn with him, help him in the "act" sometimes.
Men watch porn for various reasons, the only issue is when they forget it is just movie, and not real relationship
No I don't join in. how can I when he waches it when I'm not home or I'm up stairs and he is downstairs. He hasn't even asked me to when I am home.
How do you know what he is doing when you are upstairs and he is downstairs?Quote:
Originally Posted by maddy308
Ive looked at the internet history.
Hello Maddy,
Let me ask you, after you looked at the internet history, did you talk to him about it?
If so, what did he say?
I mentioned it once. All he said is that he does it sometimes to get tips to make our sex life new and better. The thing is he looks at it about 2-4 a week. And there hasn't been anything new of doffernt when we have sex.
Would you ever consider watching it with him?Quote:
Originally Posted by maddy308
Maddy, why did you look at the 'history' to begin with? Was it curiosity, looking for a site you had been to and didn't favorite, or were you trying to find evidence of what he is doing when you aren't in the room?
IF you are concerned and upset, get proactive and go downstairs when you think he is looking at porn and join him.
Talk to him. Tell him how you found out. Listen to him. He may be getting ideas but is unsure how to bring them up to you. Find a compromise.
Frankly, if he is doing it primarily when you aren't home and your sex life if satisfactory for both of you, then I wouldn't worry about it. It is about the same thing as reading a romance book or watching a romantic movie.
I would love to watch it woth him but he never offers me to. I've also told him I would. He also sometimes watches it while in asleep an he can't make the excuse up that he didn't want to have sex because I was sleeping because he has woken me up for it before and I don't mind at all.
Also on a side note when we wernt dating some who the subject of porn came up he told me that his ex was good but not that good so he watched porn. But he has told me that I am amazing in bed. So I don't see the need of porn
Hello Maddy,
You mentioned that your sex life is good. Is this really so bad that he watches porn?
He's at home in the privacy of his own home. He is not out sleeping with other women.
Some men like to look at playboy. I don't think that's bad.
Have you ever read a Jackie Collins book? My goodness that will make you want to masturbate.
Have you ever seen "Basic Instinct" or "Sliver", or "9 1/2 weeks"? Again, you might get arroused.
Some people like to watch others make love, is that so bad?
I myself, find no harm in my husband/boyfriend watching porn, as long as we continue to have a great sex life, and that he is true to me.
You know now that he watches porn. It's up to you how you want to carry it out.
Take control, join in. Communicate to him that you want to.
Yes the sex is good. But at times it puts a kink in our sex life. When I want it he rolls over an goes to bed if its at night or if during the day he says he has to go unload the dishwasher etc.. Which makes me mad knowing what he just did an he doesn't want to make a effort to help me out. So a few hours later when he wants sex I won't, or even sometimes I just get mad at him. It makes we wonder why he is with me if he likes looking at porn stars with fake boobs an plastic sergury because I'm nothing likke that.
You mentioned in your original post that you have sex pretty much every day. Is that correct?Quote:
Originally Posted by maddy308
If that's the case, then it seems as if you are not deprived or denied sex. Some people go weeks, even months at a time without sex. You have it good, I must say.
Is it that you want him more then once a day? What is this kink you speak of?
She doesn’t understand why her boyfriend rather masturbates then have sex with her. She is entitled to feel inadequate and not wanted. We can’t control how one feels about their current situation.
What you have to understand there are people different sex preferences. For example; some people get sexually pleasure urinating on each other, that’s their cup of tea.
Now, it just so happens that your boyfriend into the masturbation thing. This may or may not have nothing to do with way you look or the way he feels about you.
Ask yourself this question can you accept this and still be happy?
If the answer is “no”, then break it off, there are plenty of guys out can be in a relationship with a woman and masturbation doesn’t have priority.
Quote:
Originally Posted by maddy308
Does your boyfriend have a sex addiction? Sounds like you two need to have a serious talk...
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