Me and my husband recently got married July 22,2010. Im constantly having problems with myself thinking that I'm not pretty enough for him or good enough for him. I know that self-esteem is my problem and that I should think I'm the best and I shouldn't rely on what others think about me but he's my husband! I don't know what's wrong with me I guess I have a lot of insecuritys because we were dating once before in the past and he cheated with an ex. He had a Facebook and still talked to a lot of his ex's and the comments that were left on his page and he left on there's was less than "just friends" posts.Well,he deleted his Facebook page,huh I guess he's trying to get me to trust him but today a letter came in the mail from one of his ex's.We are in Iraq I guess I left that part out too we are both in the Army. Well,I work at the company so the mail is given to us to distribute to the rest of the soldiers and I got his mail because I was his wife obvesoulsiy,I saw that it was one of his ex's that he was very friendly with on Facebook when he had one and I opened the letter,I read it and it said that she really missed him that she can't stop looking at his pictures when she goes to see his sister that she's friends with.She wants to know if he still has a girlfriend and she HAS TO SEE HIM! Gah I'm so upset with myself for opening it and I don't know what to do now the jealousy is killing me inside I love my husband and I know its not his fault that sone ex is writing him but he also gave his sister the Ok to give her his address and what the heck does he think she's going to say? Its obvieouse we are grown adults we all know what a girl wants to talk about if she has to write you something! HELP!!

Well, you are not going to like my answer, but the right thing to do is tell him you opened up his letter, and you did it because you don't trust him and you need an explanation. I think you will know what he is up to by the way he reacts to what you tell him.

Thanks,its going to be hard but I will try to tell him I opened it I just don't want to fight.

As far as I know, you cannot delete a Facebook account, you can only deactivate it, and resume it any time you wish to.

What would happen to you if the company you worked for discovered that you not only took mail that didn't belong to you, or was addressed to you, and then opened it and read the contents? I don't see that that was justified because you are married to the man who's name was on the envelope. I would be furious if my husband opened mail that was addressed to me. That is the same thing as snooping in my email, or reading the texts on my phone, or going through my purse. Not a good line to cross.

That you are married, does not give you special status to do these things.

I don't know how fast the mail is from the US to Iraq, but is it possible that when your husbands sister gave this girl your husbands address, that you were not yet married? Considering you've only been married a month, the letter could have been posted before you were even married, in which case, mailed before you tied the knot in Iraq.

The only thing I think you can do, is tell your husband what you have done. I honestly don't know which is worse. You breeching your duties, and taking and opening his mail, or him giving the OK to his sister for this girl to send him a letter.

Why he did that without telling you, also deserves an explanation in my opinion.

While I can understand that the past behavior has you feeling insecure, you must let him know exactly what your going through, and assure him your working on it, and I hope you honestly do, by giving a lot of thought to your words, and actions and not let your feelings lead you to impulsive behavior or words, (like snooping through his mail, or phones) because they are seldom forgotten very easily. You screwed up, and that after only a month of marriage, should have been handled much better by simply giving him his mail, and acknowledging you know its from an ex.

Own up to your mistake in opening his letter, and be honest about why you did, and HOPEFULLY he will understand, and not be angry enough to dump you.

I can understand why you are insecure with him, he was a cheater and you don't trust him. I wouldn't trust him either, I would not have married him if I didn't trust him.
Tell him what you did and let the chips fall where they may.