This is my story. I am an older man with not much going for me. I have no money, live in a depressing community, drive an older car, and drink too much. I also smoke, gamble, and generally do nothing to help myself. I can't find a job, have no friends, and watch TV too much. I am the classic example of a "loser".. But I have always been able to have relationships. The problem is, in the last 3 years, I have been dumped 5 times, twice by the same women if you can believe that. Now, on top of everything else, I feel like I'm ugly. I hope someday to meet the right woman, one that can take care of me and be there for me when I'm sick. I will have to move soon, so I hope I meet someone fast. All she has to do is be a caring woman, and I will stay with her forever. But she has to accept me for what I am, so I know she is probably a bigger loser than I am. My question is, "are there any other people out there that feel as hopeless as I do and what did you do to get better" I generally don't feel comfortable around people, so leaving the house is not something I like to do..

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Originally Posted by doctornoitall

This is my story. I am an older man with not much going for me. I have no money, live in a depressing community, drive an older car, and drink too much. I also smoke, gamble, and generally do nothing to help myself. I can't find a job, have no friends, and watch TV too much. I am the classic example of a "loser".. But I have always been able to have relationships. The problem is, in the last 3 years, I have been dumped 5 times, twice by the same women if you can believe that. Now, on top of everything else, I feel like I'm ugly. I hope someday to meet the right woman, one that can take care of me and be there for me when I'm sick. I will have to move soon, so I hope I meet someone fast. All she has to do is be a caring woman, and I will stay with her forever. But she has to accept me for what I am, so i know she is probably a bigger loser than I am. My question is, "are there any other people out there that feel as hopeless as I do and what did you do to get better" I generally don't feel comfortable around people, so leaving the house is not something I like to do..

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It's a two way street - I don't see a woman of any value dating you, having a relationship with you when your only goal (apparently) is to take care of you and be there when you are sick. What's in it for her? If you are looking for a loser, there are a lot of them out there. I just don't know what you offer them.

I don't know if no money, old car, bad neighborhood are big problems - gambling and drinking too much (and possibly smoking too much) certainly are if you are looking for a relationship.

Do you see a professional about your various problems, including your lack of self estreem?

Thank you, you are completely right. I am going to see a therapist, join AA and GA and try to turn life around. I'm just feeling really bad because my last girlfriend left me. I really loved her, and I am just feeling really sorry for myself. I would never be with a woman just because she could take care of me. Nobody would want me the way I feel right now, I know that. You have been very helpful and I know things are not as bad as I think. There are many people out there my age with major health issues, so I need to start counting my blessings. No one else needs to reply, I will start my recovery now.. I just wanted to vent, that's all.. Sorry I wasted this forums time..

You didn't waste anybody's time - the amazing part of AMHD is that someone else will come along, read what you've posted, gain hope for their situation.

Come back and let us know how things are working out.

As a side note - I was widowed. I didn't think the sun would come up the next day (and I think you know what I mean). I learned that life is what you make it -

Good luck.

You're a very sweet woman.. Thankyou for your understanding. I am feeling better already. Goodluck to you also.

You know - and you aren't going to believe this because I'm not known as a softee on the boad - you sound like a great guy! I like anyone who says, "I have this problem, here's how I'm going to fix it." Gives you character and in my eyes, a better person.

Again - let us know how things work out.

Some woman is going to come into your life and appreciate you.

May I suggest your first port of call is your local doctor,he/she can do a physical and possibly refer you to a dietitian.

Start looking after your health,then take the next step,look for work.

Do you have a trade?

Start getting your own life in order,try and find some happiness,everyone deserves to be happy.

Breakup suck,no doubt about it,but will recover,and you can be a stronger person because of it.

Make a plan for the next 12 months,where do you see yourself?

Your making a great start.

I'll contribute by saying that if things in your life seem unsatisfactory the onus has to fall to you to change them. Sitting around drinking beer, not going out and watching too much television cannot be good for you physically nor mentally. Also, I'd not assume that anyone who looks your way or demonstrates interest must be labelled a loser. Although, I'd agree that it makes it a lot more difficult to attract the kind of woman I'm sure you (and all of us) are dreaming about.

It does not take any professional to identify that change is required in this situation. Good luck to you.

You know, miss Judykaytee, there is an old saying that goes like this: "A little love is like a drop of water giving enough strength to a wilted flower to righten itself" You have inspired me more than you can imagine.. Thank you,

And thanks to all of you who took the time to respond. I will bounce back, I always do. I know now I can't do it alone.. And to anyone else that should come upon this post, alwasys remember that there are a lot of caring people out there who really do want to help. And those who live in the past ARE afraid to live for the future.