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-   -   My friend is always looking at my girlfriend and try to touch her (https://www.askmehelpdesk.com/showthread.php?t=500921)

  • Aug 23, 2010, 06:26 AM
    qouzou
    My friend is always looking at my girlfriend and try to touch her
    I don't tell him anything because I don't want to have a fight with him and my girlfriend find him handsome and for time to time I see her looking at him. We have been together for 3 years and a half and she loves me as much as I love her... so *** any help
  • Aug 23, 2010, 06:42 AM
    talaniman

    Are you making a big deal out of this? After all they have probably gotten to be friends over the time you have been together. You really need to elaborate a bit more.
  • Sep 7, 2010, 04:25 PM
    crazy_kendall3
    Honey.. listen. Your girl probably got to know him over the time and became close friends with him. It's perfectly natural. If she starts kissing him on the cheek, and stuff like that.. then she is into him. But as far as I can see, she loves YOU. And her and that guy are friends. :)
  • Sep 8, 2010, 06:13 AM
    Devorameira

    Unless there's something really obvious going on (kiss, etc.), you really shouldn't be concerned.

    She's your girlfriend - she chose you, so try to put a lid on the jealousy and doubt.
  • Sep 8, 2010, 06:42 AM
    Jake2008
    If he is always looking at her, in a 'come hither' kind of way, and she returns the 'I'm interested' look back to him, then yes, that is a problem. If it is obvious enough for you to notice, and the 'looks' make you uncomforable, you not saying anything is contributing to the behaviour. If it's okay with you say nothing, who knows where it will lead.

    By your friend trying to touch her, what do you mean. Grope her breasts, touch her derrierre, too many long hugs, too frequently sitting too close for comfort? If that too, is as obvious to you as the 'looking' is, again, you are leaving them wide open to continue.

    If the looking and the touching are just them, and neither of them are particularly touchy feely people with others, then yes, I can see why you would be concerned.

    The only part of this I don't understand, is your reluctance to tell your girlfriend, that her behaviour makes you uncomfortable. Fighting your male friend is a bit cave-manish, in that you are fighting for your possession, and her honour. Very yesterday thinking.

    Remember she is returning, from what I gather, come on's, that generate from him, as you have implied. There is no rule, in love or war, that stops this human process. What is unchecked, is her being so comfortable with it.

    The relationship will never survive if you are afraid to speak, and express yourself, about anything and everything. Communication comes in many forms, and if you don't have that, you have nothing. Your male friend communicates very well non-verbally, which is a lot more than I can say for you at the moment.

    Tell her, flat out, calmly, and honestly, that you'd like their flirting to stop. It is inappropriate while she is in a relationship with you, it makes you uncomfortable, and although they haven't jumped each other on the picnic table, if it continues, they just might.

    Nip it in the bud. Speak up!
  • Sep 8, 2010, 06:56 AM
    jmjoseph

    Have you heard the song " Jesse's Girl"?

    Fix your friend up with someone, or have your girl fix him up.

    Or tell him that you're getting concerned.

    I had a girlfriend like that once. ALL of my friends wanted her. But she chose ME, and I trusted HER. Not my friends.

    Good luck. Listen to that song.

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