Help, 4 year relationship seriously on the rocks!
I have been with my current girlfriend for around 4 years. During this time, We have had our ups and downs, but always have had a deep loving, and personal relationship. Her beliefs kept us from ever engaging in intercourse, I had a poor first time with another girl before her, so when the relationship started I thought it would be great to not have to worry about sex and build a strong relationship without it... I wasn't excited about it, but I weighed the pro's and con's and believed she was worth it. We still tiptoed the line of sexualness though.
Over our 4 years, neither of us have cheated, of that I am certain. The most major problems we have had including me lying about minuscule things such as smoking etc, Recently though, I made the mistake of making a joke about having a threesome to a group of friends. Somehow, it managed to get back around to her and ever since *(about 2 months) she's been extremely distant, but back and forth. We have had to live apart for the past year and that is a strain on us as well. So anyway, finally this past weekend I am staying with her at her house. Sexual things are attempted but shot down by her (at this point I've been so sexually starved for months and months, its really killing me having an extremely hot girlfriend who won't do anything with me!! ) The first night I accepted that she wasn't in the mood, the 2nd night... I couldn't help but bug her until she gave in, afterward she was very upset and finally said that I had to leave and we needed to be separate for a while. She said she cannot trust me and am not what she wants in a man.
I felt that my trust, aside from tiny instances of lying or joking with friends, was valid. I have never actually hurt her from physical acts with others or in any serious manner besides petty lies. I told her that if she could not trust me (the man who became abstinent for her! And stayed) she would not be able to trust anyone.
I realize I could have been a little pushy trying to get her in the sac, but after a while, I can only stand so much... I mean my you know what was hard for 48 hours around her and I get nothing.
I really care about her deeply, but I believe she has over-analyzed my potential and taken me for granted. I realize I'm not perfect but I definitely never didn't show her I loved her.
So now I'm in the "NC" phase (no contact) basically trying to hold myself back from calling or texting her. I'm hoping that she comes around and misses me. I'm 100% sure she is not interested in any other guys at the moment, so that is relieving, but still, the distance being apart by an hour or 2, plus the silence right now is very nerve-racking.
Any advice or tips will help a troubled boyfriend incredibly!
P.S before I get any responses, I would just like to thank the members of this board. I was at a loss for how to handle my situation earlier today, but after reading all the wonderful posts by people on all these threads, It has really given me perspective. I'm going to hold steady to the "NC" rule for now, and hope for the best. I still love her, but I'm going to do this by-the-book. I'm going to probably be on these forums a lot in the next few days.
All right, thanks! Now... advice *** nao!! :)
Help, is my girlfriend of 4 years now with another guy?
My girlfriend of a long long time has recently told me that its over, she's moved on.
The thing is... only a few days ago she was more than fine. Talking about what christmas gifts she's gotten me and what not. There is tons to this story, and I could write them all out, but what I'm asking is when a girl you've known this long says she's "moved on" does that mean with another guy? Or does that just mean she's done with us