I am currently in a relationship with a wonderful man and father who lost his wife in April 2010. The relationship is great however; he inherited a stepdaughter whose bilogical father was never apart of her life. The daughter is from a previous relationship of the deceased wife. Our relationship started March 9, 2009 as his wife cancer became terminal. He was my first love in high school and when he inquired about us, I thought it was faith. I am divorce with three kids and he as five children, two by the deceased(one bilogical and stepdaughter). I ended our relationship as things started getting too stressful to handle and I thought my emotions and behavior was selfish. I told him he needed to be there for his wife in her last days. Six months later, doctors gave up on her and decided to make her last days as comfortable as possible. He called and we picked up right where we left off. She died and I was there for him as much as I could but I know we couldn't move to fast because of the kids. We've been pretty careful until today. His stepdaughter found my number and sent me disturbing text messages filled with rage and anger. How should I approach this matter?

There is only one way to deal with this. You must back of and allow that family to grieve for their loss. People say a lioness can be ferocious while taking care of her cubs - keep this in mind when you realise the children are simply looking out for their dad.

I'm thinking the stepdaughter found more than your phone number, otherwise she wouldn't know who you were or what the number was even to.

Like Bluerose said, you need to back off. Do not respond to her text messages, do not try to talk to her, say absolutely nothing to her!

His wife, their mother died 4 months ago,their pain has now been doubled by the fact that their father betrayed their mother in her last months of life.

He was having an affair,he was cheating.

I don't know how either of you can justify your actions,but the anger directed towards you is very understandable.

Why did you not walk away in the beginning?

Why did you allow him to pursue you?

The children are outraged I'm guessing on her behalf.

I would strongly advice you to back away from this situation for quite a while,let them mourne,let them heal.

Whether they will ever except you remains to be seen.

That is my advice.

I am bound by the rules of the site to voice my true opinion of this situation.

Iam sorry to be so harsh here, but you both lowered your moral value to have an affair, while his wife was dying from cancer. If his daughter really know this and knows who you are, you might as well call it quits because she will never sit by and allow you to have any comfortable,loving, and most importanat OPEN relationship with her father. The old what goes around comes back around is just about to hit.