Ask Me Help Desk - A recent Break up.

A recent Break up.

I recently broke up with my boyfriend because he lied to me and did stuff behind my back. Some people are telling me things.. And he's telling me different things. I don't know what to believe.. But all I know is that I love him so much and I know he loves me. I want him to admit to me that he did a mistake. Because he's upset about the breakup and thinks I'm over exaggerating. I know he did things. But I don't want to believe it. Its only been a couple of days since the breakup. Should I wait and see what he'll say, or should I move on. I really love this guy, and he loves me. But what he did was shocking. He means the world to me. I don't know what to do, Help me please.

1st, how old are you 2? 2nd what exactly did he lie about?

Hi There,

Sorry to hear about what has happened.

If you don't mind me asking, what are the things you believe he did to you behind your back and on what are you basing your evidence on?

Well, I do believe I over reacted but what he did was go to this girls house and lied when I asked him, and he flirted with this other chick when I asked him not to talk to her anyway. I'm 18 he's 19

Not to sound harsh, but why did you ask him not to talk to her?

We can all have our friends male and/or female, we just have to know where to draw the line.

Well because she's the suductive type. And he knows it. Plus she tried to break us up before. I don't mind him having female friends I do know that.

Oh, Okay, I was just curious.

But you said what he did was shocking, I don't see anything yet that is shocking.

He lied because he knew he was wrong and scared, and every body flirts, flirting shouldn't be an issue WITH ANYBODY, SEDUCTIVE OT NOT, if you love him, do whatever is right for you, because what any of us tells you doesn't even compare to any of the things you and your boyfriend talk about, if you feel you were wrong tell him, and if you feel he was wrong tell him, then its up to you to decide if you can trust him and make it work!

It is my belief that there is a lot of information missing here.

Hun, we can only give you info based on what you tell us. From what we are reading right now, you will most likely get info that is not necessarily appropriate to your situation.

Can you please fill in all the gaps?

Quote:

Originally Posted by if-only6

well because shes the suductive type. and he knows it. Plus she tried to break us up before. I dont mind him having female friends i do know that.

If you can't trust him to act the proper way, what's the point in being with him? I know a guy will tell you that "she came on to me and I couldn't help it." Eh, that's a bunch of BS. If you can't trust him, let him go. Then you can concentrate on you.

Quote:

Originally Posted by if-only6

well because shes the seductive type. and he knows it. Plus she tried to break us up before. I don't mind him having female friends i do know that.

Just because SHE is the seductive type, this does not mean he will act upon this and be unfaithful to you. I agree with J9 in that I do not believe what happened here was shocking in the slightest from the information you have given so far.

Trust is an extremely important factor in a relationship between two people and without it, things can come to an abrupt end if these issues are not dealt with. This is exactly what has happened here. It seems that you have been somewhat possessive over him proven by the fact that you have asked him not to talk to this girl you speak of.

She is seductive but that does not mean that he will act upon any signals she gives off. I would be inclined to say that you MAY have blown this out of all proportion.

Relationships at this age are even harder work because usually people at this stage in life are too young for serious relationships and need to do some soul searching. I am not saying there is no chance for the two of you because I am not in a position to judge but without trust and communication, any relationship you have will not last.

I wish you well over the Christmas period and hope things turn out for the best for you both..

Quote:

Originally Posted by if-only6

I know he did things. But i dont want to believe it.

If you know he "did things" and you obviously seem upset by these "things", why do you not want to believe them? If he did something to make you loose your trust in him, then you cannot pretend it did not happen!
Also, there is a lot of missing info here and you will get better and more specific help if you can elaborate on exactly what he did to make you distrust him. If it was that he flirted with the "seductive" girl, then I think you may be overreacting. It seems like you don't trust him and that could explain why he lied about going to "this girls house". Has he done something in the past to make you ask him not to talk to the "seductive girl"?

Quote:

I recently broke up with my boyfriend because he lied to me and did stuff behind my back

I can understand that and you have every right to demand honesty and respect

Quote:

I really love this guy, and he loves me. But what he did was shocking. He means the world to me. I don't know what to do, Help me please.

If you love each other, why do you have all this shocking stuff going on. If your not getting the respect you deserve , then what could be confusing about cutting the loser loose. Love with out respect is not love, its a darned shame.

Well, I've read all your posts and all I can say is, what else is going on here? It sounds like a something's missing here.

Yes, is there something misssing? More detail please..