Our son is special needs(mildly mentally retarded w/autism). He is 18yrs and is very high functioning. I have had to fight for my son a lot over the years with his school in different aspects of his learning. For example, the school didn't want to teach him how to write in cursive do to his messy handwriting. I had to explain, not having pretty handwritting had nothing to do with eventually being a full grown man who couldn't read other peoples handwritting because they write in cursive instead of basic print. Our son now knows not only how read in cursive but to write it.

So here is problem, our son is in his senior year and has bee water boy for the football team for 3 years. He loves it and has developed great maturity being able to interact with the other kids. Now when I say other kids, let me iterate, other classmates not just other speical needs students. He loves this, and yes does get distracted easliy by watching other kids and watching game. I have notice the actual players do too. But they are now saying that the coaches can't be re-directing him, that isn't their job. So they don't want him down there unless us as parents are down there too. We are use to having to be at all activities because nobody wants to take time, but I am really getting sick of this school making sure they get all the financial benefits for having special needs students, but making it almost impossible to actually be able to be in a organized sport, apparently even the stinking water boy position.

Is there anything that we can do as parents to maybe open this schools eyes to any legal rights these kids have. Anything we can do beside be on sidelines re-directling. Why can't one of these so calle assistannt coaches do something besides stand there and talk in microphone. They have forgotten to be teachers first, then coach. They all need to rent movie "RADIO" Any help will be appreciated.

What you have to understand is that there is a lot going on when the field is busy. They are NOT denying your child and the position he is in. What is so bad if you have to be there too? They are there for a specific purpose. And as part of it they don't need the extra distraction. It seems like a compromise to have you participate also. They could have just said that he is no longer welcome. Imagine the outrage then? They are dealing with it and have offered a solution. What is the real complaint?

I guess my real complaint is that why don't school have organized sports for their special needs students. Why is that they always have to be on sidelines and are never able to participate.
And as to the being hurt, our son has played contact football, You see was allowed to player in younger grade (JR high). Well guess who had to be coach to allow him to play. Yep his father, why because other coaches where just to concern with him being distracted and getting hurt. No both of my normal average nephews played football for other teams and one even broke his leg, but he was still allowed to make that choice without parent being next to him.

First, schools often do not have enough special needs students to field teams. Have you enrolled him in the Special Olympics program?

Second, the safety of all needs to be considered, not just the needs of one.

Maybe its something that can be dealt with on a grass roots level. And not shoved on people through a courtroom. By either getting elected or participating in your local school board change can happen. It won't be overnight but that might be the best way to get it done. Also Im not sure any one school has enough students like your son to participate in an active sport. It may take a district combination to get it done. That is where the school board comes in.

There are several things you might want to do. If this is a safety issue it may be that there is nothing you can do to change it.

If you decide to approach the School Board on this you need to know what his rights are as a Special Ed student.

First you need to request a meeting with the Coach's and ask that your name be put on the agenda at the next School Board meeting.

If you plan on addressing the board and the coaches you must have permission to be on the speakers agenda.

I would first request a meeting with the Superintendent of the School and voice my concerns.

I worked for the schools so I can give you some very good tips.

When you speak with the teaching staff the Coach always remain calm.

State your case and the reason you are upset about your sons' situation.

Always document everything from the meetings and let them know you are doing so.

Be calm and you'll find they are more willing to work with you.
If his safety is the reason they have changed the rules, then there isn't much you can do.

I'm not saying anything will change but it's worth trying. The advice you have received from Califdadof3 and ScottGem is very good advice and you need to weigh all your options. Good Luck

I'm not in the US so I don't know how things work there when it comes to special need students, but here in Canada it seems things are very different.

We have a special needs schools. Parents of special needs children can send their kids to this school starting in kindergarten and going all through to 12th grade. The people working in these schools are trained to deal with special needs students.

They also have the option of placing their special needs kids into the regular public or Catholic schools. If this is the option they take the child is than assigned an aide who works with him every day in school. He is a part of the class, but if he becomes a distraction than the aide will remove him from the room and take him somewhere else to do one of one lesson plans.

The child is included in all activities at the school, but always with his aide. The aide is government funded.

My son goes to public school. He is now going into grade 6, and since kingergarten one of his classmates has been a boy with severe autism. This child cannot interact socially with people, cannot speak, cannot write, yet he's still a part of the class, and has been for 6 years. He has an aide, and because of that aide he is allowed to come on school trips, join in at recess, gym, etc. etc. Without the aide it would simply be too much. His needs are such that he has to have the one on one attention. If he hadn't qualified for an aide the school could not have accepted him, as the teacher would not be able to teach the rest of the class.

I guess what I'm trying to say is that you opted to send your special needs child to a public school. If he wants to join into things where the teacher cannot be expected to devote his/her time solely to your child, than perhaps hiring an aide is the solution.

We are very involved with every aspect of our sons life. We were told that he would never walk--he walks and runs--told never talks---he talks---he use to walk out skirts of play ground, but we insisted that he interact---he now carrys on conversations with others and laughs with them.

He has several medal from special olympics in bowling( which he went to nationals) in swimming,track,etc. All gold or silver. But he should have the right to also interact with his fellow students even if they don't have handicaps!!

Due to the fact son is high functioning he does quaiify to go to a strictly special needs school. And he doesn't have a severe behavior problem, just needs redirecting like 99 percent of special needs do.

He did qualify to have job coach in beginning of learning ins and outs of his coop job, but no longer needs her.

I don't want to seem like I want to take this to court by any means, but I would like to know if he has any rights.

Thanks for all your help and input

Sorry that should read he does not qualifty to go special school

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But he should have the right to also interact with his fellow students even if they don't have handicaps!!

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But he does interact with his fellow students. According to you he's been the water boy for the last 3 years, and he is still the water boy. They didn't ask him to leave, they just asked for help in keeping him focused.

I guess I just don't understand why it's a hardship for you to help, like the coach requested, to keep him focused at the games. If this is important to him and to you, and you're already going to the games, what's the big deal?

Do you expect the coach to keep an eye on him? That's really not his job. He's there to coach the team, and I would assume that it's not an easy task. He cannot be watching your son the entire time to make sure he's doing his job.

Your son does have the right to be with the other kids, and as far as I can see, his rights aren't being revoked, the school is simply asking for a bit of help from you.

I help out at my kids school all the time. It's part of being a parent, being involved in what they do.

I don't mean to sound harsh, but I really don't understand what the problem is.

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Originally Posted by jillia

We are very involved with every aspect of our sons life. We were told that he would never walk--he walks and runs--told never talks---he talks---he use to walk out skirts of play ground, but we insisted that he interact---he now carrys on conversations with others and laughs with them.

he has several medal from special olympics in bowling( which he went to nationals) in swimming,track,ect. All gold or silver. But he should have the right to also interact with his fellow students even if they dont have handicaps!!!

Due to the fact son is high functioning he does quaiify to go to a strictly special needs school. And he doesnt have a severe behavior problem, just needs redirecting like 99 percent of special needs do.

He did qualify to have job coach in beginning of learning ins and outs of his coop job, but no longer needs her.

I dont want to seem like I want to take this to court by any means, but I would like to know if he has any rights.

Thanks for all your help and input

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Jilla, I'm not a lawyer. I'm saying go to the school board with this. Find out why the rules were changed. Get it in writing as to why the rules were changed. If you must, go to the games and let him enjoy you being there. Many schools have probably stopped special needs kids from being in sports because of safety issues.

If this is the case and they gave you the option of being there with him I don't know whether you could legally fight it or not. I would go with meeting the Superintendent . If there is an alumni board try speaking with them.

Here is the line of thinking I have. When children are younger they are not as strong nor agile as when they get older. Up to around 6th to 7th grades the girls and boys are almost the same sizes. So in that respect its much easier to allow participation at those levels. When the children start approaching High School. The boys tend to grow taller and bulk up. Those are the awkward and dangerous years. I can see asking for more help when its getting to those levels.

As far as having a separate program. I think I addressed that. Because as has been said at any 1 school there may not be enough students to participate. But on a district level with all schools combined then there may be. That is where the school board steps in. And why particpating on their level may help you get what your seeking.

I don't see this action taken by the coach and his staff as unusual or raising red flags at this time. The older the children get the more attention you have to give them and the broader the egos and conflicts can become. I applaud your family for not giving up on him and him as well for accomplishing so much so soon. This may be his calling if you can get the program started. To encourage others of his caliber to participate not just in sports but life itself. In order to be an insperation you have to get noticed first. Your son is one that will be noticed and looked up to. Spin this into a positive and he may run with it.

In the US, there was a large move to keep special needs out of different schools, so schools are allowed to keep all levels of special needs normally somehow in regular schools if at all possible. At the more serious levels, there may be only three or four students to one teacher, where other classes are doing 30 kids to one teacher. The schools are required to buy special chairs, lifts, gait trainers, walkers and more. They often have to add special bath facilities. In addition the schools have to have PT on staff. And of course in most areas the parents and the school have written teaching plans as to specific needs of the child.

So yes the schools do get some extra funding but from what I have seen that is not even a small amount to what they spend extra due to government requirements.

I guess in this case, my concerns as a parent would be what has changed in my child, so that he is not as attentive now as he was perhaps, since that will be a need and requirement to be productive after high school.

The school as a serious liability with him on or near the field. If he is distracting coaches, they may not keep as close a eye on the game, which will cause a lot of complaints from other parents, ( one loss game can make or lose a scholarship at times for a player) and one missed call play can do that. Or several

I would like to thank you all for you input. Sometimes it nice just to get others look on a situation.

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Originally Posted by jillia

I would like to thank you all for you input. Sometimes it nice just to get others look on a situation.

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You're very welcome. Please keep us posted... :)