Ask Me Help Desk - Intercast love marriage

Hi, friend here I want your suggetion for me, I love a girl which is belongs to hindu religon,She love me, but her parents fix her marriage with their cummunity boy,She really love me, and I also love her,I can't live without her, my mentally situation also not good.but she has lot of pressure from her family,that's why she is avoiding me. And consistintly refusing my wedding offer, I also told her that I am readdy to live along with her custom and tradition but I can't live without her.but she has become so hard, she want to break our all relation but I can not forger her. Because I know that I can not love other in future beside her.please give me suggetion that how can I agree her to marry with me... need your help, please friend help me out.

Advice? Move on... find another girl, there are many of them. Even in a country where arrainged marriages are common. India has what? 1 billion people, almost half are women... thats like 500 million, there are plenty to choose from.

Thanks for suggetion but its impossible to me to forget her, and let her go in easyway

You WILL forget her, or at least what you think you feel for her... I have dated many women before I married. Many of them wanted married... I never forget them... but when you find another, your thoughts and affect WILL be on the new one.. not the old one.

But just I want to ask you, there is a way to convince her, sothat I find her back, and no need to see other women.
I know you are right, you have spent lot of time and having more experiece than me and your suggetion more practicle. But I love her, I don't want to mis her.. her memories making me mentally ill, and I don't want to mis her at any cost.

I understand your feelings of wanting something that you can't have, but get real, she isn't for you, and is not willing to go against her family for you, so her feelings are not the same as yours, so take the hint, and move on, and cope with your feelings by keeping your dignity, and self respect. And moving on gracefully.

It will hurt for a while but as you move ahead with your life, it will get better. A nice female will warm your heart again. Maybe several, you never know.

Quote:

Originally Posted by mohmmed84

but just i want to ask you, there is a way to convince her, sothat I find her back, and no need to see other women.
I know you are right, you have spent lot of time and having more experiece than me and your suggetion more practicle. but I love her, I dont want to mis her.. her memories making me mentally ill, and I dont want to mis her at any cost.

Look at it this way as well.

You THINK you love her... its clear what she wants... and its NOT to marry you.

Even IF you managerd to do it... you will have offended BOTH your families. You will have religion issues to deal with, are you willing to give yours up and convert? Don't like that idea then why should SHE convert, her religion is no less valid or important to her than yours is to you. How about your families... friends... just because it seems to be a great idea to you at this moment, your feelings DO NOT mean the thoughts are rational. In fact, anytime you have thoughts like this about anything... you need to step back and think long and hard. When anyone makes major decisions about ANYTHING in the heat of passion... they nearly always later regret them. And its clear SHE is the only one being rational here. Family is important... friends are important.
You will also discover this infatuation, and it IS infatuation, not love WILL fade with whomever you have it for.

True love is rational... infatuation is never rational. Love allows time to decide what's right... Infatuation thinks you have to get it NOW before someone changes their mind. Her is a newsflash... you ALWAYS regret buying something before you really had a chance to hink about it without excitement clouding your judgement. And Marriage is a major purchase.. whould you buy a house 3 minutes after you first see it... before you know what problems it has, how much upkeep it needs... if you can even afford it? No... you take time to find out all these things. By that time you find out about everything the "I have to buy it NOW before someone else does" moment passes. And you see it for an old run down shack that needs loots of money constantly just to keep everything working.

You WILL have to deal with the reality that nobody is what your mind makes them out to be. This takes a few years and cool heads to decide if everything is right. And that means BOTH people have to fee the same way.

THere are Millions of men out there that are stuck living with women they absolutely HATE... that they married when they were thinking EXACTLY like you are, which is in fact NOT rational. Marriage isn't the newest movie that YOU JUST HAVE TO SEE, because its all you think about...

The little guy in your pants doesn't think things through... don't let him decide what you should be doing.

You aren't selling junk from a stall in the street market. If you have to MAKE someone think they want or need what you offer... then they really know they don't want or need it.

You have to present yourself for who you are, and what you are honestly. Lie and it comes back to harm you. And if they really don't want or like what you have to offer... then you have to let them move on... its their right.

Boss I suggest please don't miss her. If you miss her means you lose her for lifetime. If you got her means her parents will compromise after 3 or 4 years this is my sincere suggetion to you