I am 26 years divorce old lady with a kid of 7 years . But m in love with a guy who is married and that guy love me and but he love his wife a lot as well . I work for a BPO and I have a lot of mental stress of work, divorce case and my recent love . What should I do?
I tried of not to be in contact with him but I don't know why but I can't . If this continues for a long I will die

Adultery is highly frowned upon here. This man has a wife! I'm sure you wouldn't want to be on the other end of the stick, eh? You deserve to be someone's only choice let alone second! Tell him that you won't continue to be used and you will not continue contact with him, and do just that. Yes, no contact is VERY hard. We've all been there. If you read through these forums you will find stories you can relate to. Most of which initiated no contact, built a life that they enjoy, and ended up being much better for it. I wish you the best of luck.

Hey u just need to relax there are other men out there that aren't married and are willing to be with u if u let them try

Yes you can control yourself, and stick to decisions you make.

You can stop seeing him. You can stop yourself from answering his calls, texting him, meeting up with him. You can put him out of your life.

I think half of North America has either been cheated on, or has been the one to cheat. It never ends well for the one on the receiving end, and it never ends well for the one doing the cheating.

In your case, he has a wife that he 'loves'. She probably doesn't realize you are in the picture, and if and when she does, I can guarantee you, he will drop you like a hot potato. He has no intention of leaving his wife, obviously, or he would have done that. So, at best you are a pleasant aside, or distraction, or a little excitement in his life. But, he will always go home to his wife.

You are, the 'other woman'. Second fiddle. Not even a significant other, and lower on the totem pole than any member of his family. He tosses a few crumbs your way, and you can somehow not control yourself. You put out, and that's all there is.

He has no respect for you, or your son, or his wife, or his children, if he has any. And you have no respect for yourself.

There is no magic advice that anybody can give you. You either do the right thing and let the bum go, or you don't. If you keep being out of control with your emotions, and don't step up and do the right thing, you also know that you are setting yourself up for more emotional turmoil.

Your call.

Get rid of him and concentrate on your child. He is married and off limits. End of story.

You are not setting a good example for your child.

PS You won't die.

He is just a man, no more, no less. And a bad man at that - he cheats on his wife he supposedly "loves". Get angry and end it.

You're young and single. Cut this creep off, and once you're over him, go find a man who'd want to be with you and you only.

I can hear it now, " Mommy, who is THAT man?," "Oh he is someone who I'm let use me like a sex toy, while he goes back to his REAL family at night."

Have some self respect. He is using you, nothing more, nothing less.

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Originally Posted by worriedchick

hey u just need to relax there are other men out there that arent married and are willing to be with u if u let them try

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"Hey!" Give us a break with the "u","u","u"'s. This site does not allow textspeak at all. Please use real words. I know it takes a little more time, but take it. Thank you.

Yeah, well, I was ten years married with a child and a wife who strayed and fell in love with her boss, who was married with children.

She hid the affair for years, hoping that her "soul mate" would leave for her.

It was a happy ending.

...

After getting her heart, soul, and mind he abandoned her for his family.

She received a divorce from me, and I have partial custody of my son.

So...

You can tell me your situation is different. I've little time for this.

...

It is possible, and even probable, to at some point love a person who is unavailable. Bad timing happens.

You, and he, show very little respect for marriage and commitment by your actions. Period.

Now... before you brush me off as being just a jaded man who was cheated on... I can tell you this... I've no problem if she and he were together. If he left his family and wife. I know, I know... that sounds bad... but id rather he give them the chance to live a real life... and that means not in secret limbo... and have the change to work through it now... instead of years of deceit and neglect.

Because you are aiding him in neglecting his family. The energy he puts toward you is drawn away from them... and that is wrong. Wrong of him and wrong of you.

So... make him leave or walk. Period.

And please learn to accept that there are nearly seven billion people on this earth. He isn't that special. There are great people all around you. I get that its not easy being a single parent, and the divorcée banner is no fun either.

I am sympathetic. Empathetic.

But... my experience is a great woman loved a married man and wound up having her life torn apart in so many ways.

You deserve better than that. You can choose better than that. Right now... you are choosing this. Own it. Change it. Accept the hurt that you need to go through to get to a better place.

What the **** are you doing all the men out there that need a woman and you are breaking up them up you will get what you got coming.MOVE ON