We've been best friends for almost two years.People around always thought we were a couple.during those past couple of years he was in several relationships , so did I. nothing ever happened until a week ago after a long day at the beach and a stupid massage one thing lead to another.he says we clicked while having passionate sex.it feels weird,I feel dirty all.he says look at the bright side but I just can't see how.what I did is totally against what I stand for and believe in. don't know what 2 do anymore.I'm depressed.he doenst want to date me and he is not in love with me but do I want him and am I in love with him?

Everybody makes mistakes. From the way you sound you made a mistake having sex with a friend.
Sex usually ends friendships. Especially when you are young which I am assuming you are.

You may be strongly attracted to him but it is not love.
You may love him as a friend , but that is not intimate love.

As long as you used protection, it all washes off in the shower.
Forget about it. And him. He sounds selfish and without compassion.

I wish you well

It happened, so stop beating yourself up, and see the lesson to be learned, Friends can get swept up in the moment when they are having a great time together. Now that you know that, stop acting like a couple, and just be friends.

You are hardly the only good person who has crossed the lines of friendship, and became lovers for the moment. It does happen a lot with single unattached friends who really enjoy each other company. That's as human as it gets don't you know. Most times mature adults just accept it for what it is, a temporary lapse in judgment, and never speak of it again, and never put yourself in that position again.

Eventually the emotional dust will settle if you change your routine and habits so you are not so involved with that friend so much and explore other activities with other people. That's how you put this behind you and NOT freak yourself out. Your human after all, and make mistakes, and grow from them.

Quit dwelling on it. You know it was a big mistake, but nothing can change the fact that it happened, so life goes on.

You say that you think you're in love with him, but he isn't in love with you. You may just be feeling temporarily emotional. In any case, if he isn't interested in pursuing a romantic relationship with you, then you'll have to move on.

If you want to keep him as a friend, the best thing you can do is to act as if nothing ever happened, never get that close to him again, and find someone that's free to fall in love with you.

Good luck!

Thank you guys 4 your advice & support