I just exited the Los Angeles County Superior Court Website - more specifically, the "Deadbeat Dad and Mom" link for Los Angeles County. There, they have posted photos and information of "deadbeat" parents who are in child support arrears. I was amazed that those in the Top 5 "Most Wanted" were in arrears of $25-40,000. MY EX-WIFE is in arrears for more than $250,000. At the time of our divorce, based on a full-blown Child Custody Evaluation, I received primary physical custody of our 4 children. Because she had a six-figure salary at the time, support was rather high. Her words to me shortly after the support ruling was something to the effect of, "I'm not worried about it. You're not getting a dime out of me!" And, she stayed true to that. At subsequent hearings over the years, judges really never focused on this issue - even though she didn't pay ANY child support - not a single penny. They made simple comments such as "Mamm, you are aware you have a financial obligation to your children, right?" To which she was reply, "Yes, your honor." And, that was that. It happened time and time again. Another issue I have had over the years was the fact that, even though she pays NOTHING, she claims each child on her annual taxes - because the court order stipulates that she may do so. So, it prevents me from doing so. After more than 6 years of this, I have no idea what to do. We were in court 5 months ago in Los Angeles County (Van Nuys) and, again, NOTHING. The case is filed with the local District Attorney's office and when I requested they take action with things such as driver's license suspension, etc - immediately after receiving notice, my ex began making payments. When I contacted the agency a month ago, they told me they could not take any action because she was making "consistent, monthly payments." Get this - payments of $100 a month!! Aughhhhhhhhhhhhhhhh...

I'm frustrated. I have a 10, 11, 13 and 15 year old - I am financially struggling. I'm very disappointed with the court system.

Have you ever spent any time down at the Child Support Enforcement Office and speak to them about this? If anything THEY would be the folks to speak with - not the DA, etc. as you have been doing. S peak with a supervisor down at Child Support and see what they say. It IS in their best interest to have you collect whatever monthly amount your kids are entitled to. What's the matter with these people out there in California that they can't and won't go after her for the arrearage. Payments of $100 a month are an insult especially if this woman has a high paying job.

Did you have a for real attorney at every one of these court appearances where she prevailed or did you handle this all by yourself? If you DID have an attorney you certainly didn't get your money's worth out of him/her. You need to have an attorney reverse the ruling about letting her deduct the kids from her taxes if she is NOT paying the full amount of child support that she was ordered to pay. You need an attorney for this.

Thanks for the reply, twinkie... My ex-wife filed for divorce and SOLE custody of our children in January, 2000 - As a very active musician, she had an annual income that exceeded $150,000/year. She immediately hired a high-powered Beverly Hills attorney, and I hired an extremely reputable attorney as well. Within the first year of the case, she had spent nearly $20,000 and I had spent around $16,000 in attorneys fees. After year one and a full-blown Child Custody Evaluation in Southern California, I was granted PRIMARY physical custody and we shared legal custody. Child support was listed at $5,000/monthly. She refused to pay a dime. Within 6 months, she filed a new case attempting to reverse custody and we spent another year in court on a 2nd child custody eval. During that time, my attorney mentioned the finances; her attorney continually stated things like, "She doesn't make that type of money anymore..." and, ultimately, just prior to my retaining primary custody, I agreed to cut my losses and take the $100,000 owed at the time and bring the arrearage down to zero. And, I did that 3 additional times over the years - literally wiped out the arrearage. So, yes, I had a REAL attorney through most of this with the exception of this last year-plus-long ordeal. I can no longer afford an attorney. I have no savings at this point. So, I handled the case myself. It began with an ex-parte and my ex telling the judge she "feared" for the lives of our children... After a year-long Child Custody Eval, I won yet again! As of August 12, 2010 when the Judge signed the new order, I have sole physical and as far as legal custody I only have to consult with her on MAJOR medical - that's it. I can solely make all other decisions. And, YES - I have met with Child Support Enforcement supervisors - they were the ones that sent me a notice saying she was "consistently making payments"... She has made $100 payments for the past 4 or 5 months to avoid having her driver's license suspended. As far as attorney representation for all the above as well as tax issues I'm having, I can't afford that for a longggg while.

So, from what you are saying above you have ALREADY collected $100,000 not once but 4 times? Am I reading this correctly? Or were the "other 3 times" lesser amounts owed that you settled for?

I know you don't want to hear this but you should have taken some of that arrearage money and hired a shark for an attorney who would have cleaned her pockets. I worked for such "sharks" who were top notch divorce attorneys and they knew all the ropes and how to get blood out of a stone. Your attorney charging $16K is not a very high figure for attorneys and hers at $20K isn't that high either.

Right now, you are obviously in need of money so you are trying to figure out a way to have her cough up some hefty dough.

What happened those 4 times with all the money that you supposedly got paid? Makes no sense that an attorney whether good or bad would not have sent financial interrogatories to her having her spell out in great detail her sources of income and her monthly financial obligations. You don't just have an attorney pipe up in court that the person doesn't make that kind of money anymore. Doesn't happen in the real world. A judge looks at everything on PAPER when it comes to handing out decisions.

Something doesn't sound right here.

What do YOU do for a living and are you remarried now?

I think you should do two things. First, you need a better attorney. Her pay should be garnished and an order should be in place outlining a schedule for coming current with the arrearage and also paying on a timely basis moving forward. There also should have been a petition by now to exclude her from being able to claim the children as dependents on her taxes and perhaps a good attorney could get this restored to you annually until she is current, at which time you can revert to an alternate year schedule.

I also agree that it would be beneficial to go to Child support enforcement. They should enforce whatever your court order stipulates, not what they think is fair or reasonable or consistent.

Sorry for the confusion, twinkie. Upon re-reading my post, I saw where the confusion lies. First of all, let me say this. First and foremost, my number one priority has always been the children. That being said, what I meant to say was - that on three separate occasions, with her in arrears of, between $60,000-100,000 - I allowed her a clean slate, cut my losses, and did NOT collect a dime, and listed "past due/arrearages" at ZERO. I COLLECTED NOTHING. On three separate occasions, I was happy to have the children, grateful the court processes were over - and to express that gratitude, I simply agreed to drop the past due child support owed to ZERO. Was I being too generious? ABSOLUTELY. Could I have used that money for our children? Again. ABSOLUTELY. But, I chose not to collect a dime.

I have been an elementary school educator since leaving the music industry in 2003. The children and I live in Northern California where we have lived also since 2003. The children's mother lives in Illinois.

I am totally confused at this point. You say you've allowed substantial amounts of money to be dismissed numerous times, and are now complaining about not receiving money. That's like beating your head against a wall and then complaining that it hurts. You say you're disappointed in the state, but you're the one who agreed to clear the arrears.

If she was that far behind, they would have intercepted her tax refund by now. So I can't believe that you haven't seen "any" money.

What exactly is your question?

Thanks for the reply this8384... Oh, I can't see I haven't seen "any" money - I have seen a few thousand dollars (possibly not more than 5,000 given here and there over the course of more than 10 years! Letme add this part to the issue - she is SELF-EMPLOYED - and, it is nearly, and almost impossible to deal with child support and those that are self-employed. Also, add this to the puzzle - she moves quite a bit - not just down the street or around the block... She has lived in Illinois, Georgia, and scattered places in California throughout the past 10 years as well - so, I have noticed that it often takes one state 8-10 months before they've even transferred the case to the new place of residence - by then, she dances for them for about 6-months, then moves yet again.

As far as "complaining" - I'm not "complaining" about the few times I've given up the money. I'm talking about NOW! Current, as of this date, August 20, 2010, she is, once again $251,000 in arrears!! And, this time, I will NOT allow it to slip through my minds. I need to begin college plans for our children and much, much more. As they discuss with me their future goals, plans, desires, I have to financially begin to prepare for those things. So, again, I'm not "complaining" about the other times. I'm talking about what is owed at present.

Let me add this. At the time of our divorce, I further gave up "control" of our joint companies (we had two). With that, the Judge gave her the right to continue operating the companies and controlling the daily operations with the clause/understanding, that I was entitled to HALF of it's yearly receivables. It was stipulated that I was to receive HALF of all receivables within 10 days of receipt AND, I was to be provided with quarterly and annual income statements. This income was to be separate and has NOTHING to do with child support. But... once again, I've received NOTHING - not a single statement, not a single check, NOTHING... NOTHING... NOTHING...

Now, I'm sure you're saying this is my fault and asking why haven't I pursued this with the court. Well, I've been dealing with CUSTODY for the entire decade - and her extreme courtroom accusations - I've been accused of everything from "attempted rape" (on her), "improper conduct" (with the children), "parental alienation, manipulation"... and the list goes on and on and on. That being said, I've found myself always on the defensive protecting the custody of the children... each time, ending with a victory and the right to maintain custodial parent.

This time around, I'm FINISHED! With the ending of this case, I nearly have complete SOLE CUSTODY (just a few minor things I must comply with) - but, for the most part, she has lost pretty much all custody. Now that this final custody battle is over, I'm ready to tackle all the financial issues that I've been unable to approach. I need a plan and strategy on where to begin. At this point, I don't have a dime for legal assistance! What do I do??

Problem Number one as I begin formulating my plan. I would like to start the new case regarding finances soon but... because the case originated (in 2000) in Southern California (we all lived there at the time) our most recent custody case was also conducted there as well. Do you know how financially demanding that is to travel back and forth (I now live 400-plus miles away)... And, my ex-wife currently lives in Illinois (believe me, I know the travel was far worse on her - but, she began that custody battle - so, it was simply something she had to deal with)... Anyway, how do I begin this new case dealing with finances - yet move the entire case to the city where the children and I have now lived for nearly 7 years!?

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Originally Posted by Joshua209

Thanks for the reply this8384... Oh, I can't see I haven't seen "any" money - I have seen a few thousand dollars (possibly not more than 5,000 given here and there over the course of more than 10 years! Letme add this part to the issue - she is SELF-EMPLOYED - and, it is nearly, and almost impossible to deal with child support and those that are self-employed. Also, add this to the puzzle - she moves quite a bit - not just down the street or around the block... She has lived in Illinois, Georgia, and scattered places in California throughout the past 10 years as well - so, I have noticed that it often takes one state 8-10 months before they've even transferred the case to the new place of residence - by then, she dances for them for about 6-months, then moves yet again.

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Self-employed or not, she still needs to file a tax return.

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As far as "complaining" - I'm not "complaining" about the few times I've given up the money. I'm talking about NOW! Current, as of this date, August 20, 2010, she is, once again $251,000 in arrears!! And, this time, I will NOT allow it to slip through my minds. I need to begin college plans for our children and much, much more. As they discuss with me their future goals, plans, desires, I have to financially begin to prepare for those things. So, again, I'm not "complaining" about the other times. I'm talking about what is owed at present.

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Okay, that's good to know. But you brought it up - it doesn't have any bearing. You made a decision to let it slide in the past. That's done and over with.

In order for her to be over $251,000 in arrears, that would mean you haven't received anything whatsoever since June 2006. Did she not file a tax return for '06, '07, '08 or '09?

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Let me add this. At the time of our divorce, I further gave up "control" of our joint companies (we had two). With that, the Judge gave her the right to continue operating the companies and controlling the daily operations with the clause/understanding, that I was entitled to HALF of it's yearly receivables. It was stipulated that I was to receive HALF of all receivables within 10 days of receipt AND, I was to be provided with quarterly and annual income statements. This income was to be separate and has NOTHING to do with child support. But... once again, I've received NOTHING - not a single statement, not a single check, NOTHING... NOTHING... NOTHING...

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So file for contempt of court against her.

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Now, I'm sure you're saying this is my fault and asking why haven't I pursued this with the court. Well, I've been dealing with CUSTODY for the entire decade - and her extreme courtroom accusations - I've been accused of everything from "attempted rape" (on her), "improper conduct" (with the children), "parental alienation, manipulation"... and the list goes on and on and on. That being said, I've found myself always on the defensive protecting the custody of the children... each time, ending with a victory and the right to maintain custodial parent.

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I never once said anything was your fault. However, you did not address the support issue. You may have been dealing with custody, but it was still your responsibility to address the support issue as well.

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This time around, I'm FINISHED! With the ending of this case, I nearly have complete SOLE CUSTODY (just a few minor things I must comply with) - but, for the most part, she has lost pretty much all custody. Now that this final custody battle is over, I'm ready to tackle all the financial issues that I've been unable to approach. I need a plan and strategy on where to begin. At this point, I don't have a dime for legal assistance! What do I do??

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Go to your local courthouse. Explain to them that the case was originally filed in 2000 in California; both you and the non-custodial parent have relocated and you would like to file a change of venue. If your income is low, they will have forms you can complete to waive the filing fees.

Honestly, I'm quite shocked as to why anyone would let someone jack them around for a decade in this manner. You seem to have given up everything in the divorce, continually let her off the hook for child support which doesn't make sense, haven't requested the receipts and statements which you claim you're entitled too... it's like this woman is tap-dancing on your face and you're too scared to do anything about it. Why haven't you taken action on any of this?

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Originally Posted by twinkiedooter

Did you have a for real attorney at each and every one of these court apperances where she prevailed or did you handle this all by yourself? If you DID have an attorney you certainly didn't get your money's worth out of him/her. You need to have an attorney reverse the ruling about letting her deduct the kids from her taxes if she is NOT paying the full amount of child support that she was ordered to pay. You need an attorney for this.

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That's something else that doesn't make sense. The tax exemption typically goes to the parent providing the most financial support for the child - in this case, the mother. However, if the OP is not receiving that support then all he needs to do is petition the court and request that HE be given the exemption(s) - I've seen one of my friends lose his exemption for his son for the past three years because his exwife decides she wants to claim him.

The only grounds I could see for him not receiving the exemption would be if his ex WAS paying her support in a timely manner.

this8384... I agree with you wholeheartedly! And, as much as this pains me to say, I do believe you have hit the nail on the head. And, I shamefully admit it... "too scared"... I have NEVER wanted anything to put me in a position of losing custody. So, I've focused solely on THAT battle. But, now - after 3 FULL-BLOWN (all took nearly 1-year to complete) Child Custody Evaluations - ALL 3 of which painted the most incredible picture of me and my parenting skills; and more than 5 official "custody" case victories - I'm ready to battle on this financial end. I'm ready to finally take this situation on. Ohhh, and don't get me wrong - it hasn't been entirely ignored - there have been several court hearings regarding custody - but, the fight has usually been overshadowed by the custody issues - I'm going to begin where you advised - visit my local courthouse and begin the processes - first with the "contempt" issue - I have record of notices I sent to her (which ultimately sparked the last custody case) regarding the clause in the court order that stipulates I "have the right to contact, request financial records, and maintain a personal business relationship" with all those making payments to the companies. Unfortunately, up to now, those companies have not allowed me that right because my ex refuses to tell them I have that right - and, they have all said, they need signed consent from HER.

Another major hurdle has been finances - I've exhausted every dollar I have caring for four awesome children and fighting custody battles for 10 years - not to mention being mentally and physically worn down from the continual battle. Here we go again - thanks for the awesome advice!! Keep it coming!!

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Originally Posted by Joshua209

this8384...I agree with you wholeheartedly! And, as much as this pains me to say, I do believe you have hit the nail on the head. And, I shamefully admit it..."too scared"...I have NEVER wanted anything to put me in a position of losing custody. So, I've focused soley on THAT battle. But, now - after 3 FULL-BLOWN (all took nearly 1-year to complete) Child Custody Evaluations - ALL 3 of which painted the most incredible picture of me and my parenting skills; and more than 5 official "custody" case victories - I'm ready to battle on this financial end. I'm ready to finally take this situation on. Ohhh, and don't get me wrong - it hasn't been entirely ignored - there have been several court hearings regarding custody - but, the fight has usually been overshadowed by the custody issues - I'm going to begin where you advised - visit my local courthouse and begin the processes - first with the "contempt" issue - I have record of notices I sent to her (which ultimately sparked the last custody case) regarding the clause in the court order that stipulates I "have the right to contact, request financial records, and maintain a personal business relationship" with all those making payments to the companies. Unfortunately, up to now, those companies have not allowed me that right because my ex refuses to tell them I have that right - and, they have all said, they need signed consent from HER.

Another major hurdle has been finances - I've exhausted every dollar I have caring for four awesome children and fighting custody battles for 10 years - not to mention being mentally and physically worn down from the continual battle. Here we go again - thanks for the awesome advice!!! Keep it coming!!!

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If you are pursuing a case of contempt then you can file it with her paying the lawyer fees. If the companies still exist then you should have no problem finding a lawyer to work with you. There should be liens on the businesses and also the business license too. Get started today!!

California Courts: Self-Help Center: Families & Children: Child, Spousal, & Partner Support

They absolutely exist - they are some of the biggest companies in the world of music and include major music divisions such as ASCAP, BMI, The Harry Fox Agency, The William Morris Agency, The American Federation of Television and Radio Artists - they are big, big companies that pay out quarterly income to "our" companies...

Again, my current and possibly BIGGEST coup would be to get this issue brought into the city where I actually live - the "Change of Venue" - I definitely DO not have the finances to take the 400-mile trip to Southern California to deal with this case. Nor, do I have the financial ability to secure a Los Angeles Attorney and maintain phone contact, correspondence, attend conferences, etc.. I believe I could seriously pull this off if I could handle it on a local level - and, she would have to travel here!!

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Originally Posted by Joshua209

Again, my current and possibly BIGGEST coup would be to get this issue brought into the city where I actually live - the "Change of Venue" - I definitely DO not have the finances to take the 400-mile trip to Southern California to deal with this case. Nor, do I have the financial ability to secure a Los Angeles Attorney and maintain phone contact, correspondence, attend conferences, etc.. I believe I could seriously pull this off if I could handle it on a local level - and, she would have to travel here!!!

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As nike says " just do it"

Also... mark my words, she will initiate a Custody Case, yet again, once I start this one - she's learned they do overshadow financial matters...

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Originally Posted by Joshua209

Also...mark my words, she will initiate a Custody Case, yet again, once I start this one - she's learned they do overshadow financial matters.....

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Just keep it separate. Go for one battle at a time. Get it done.

I'm still confused. How did you end up with the $251K figure when you've forgiven her the arrears in the past? Essentially when you forgave the arrears the clock rolled back to zero.

Also, once you've started a suit about the companies it's relatively easy to subpoena the business records, payments, etc. to show in Court where you are legally entitled to half of the proceeds. This suit would have absolutely nothing to do with a custody suit either. It would be filed under the "Contempt of Court Order" if that's what was in the divorce final Orders that is. And you would be able to collect YOUR attorney's fees in this case if you win as it would be a contempt matter. She would have to prove to the Court that the Judge who signed the original Order giving you half of the two companies' business was wrong. But that won't happen as she is in the wrong, not the original Judge.

This is a blog, not a legal question.

I can't even make sense of the situation - I've subpoened info in the past and I most certainly didn't need anyone's permission to do so. I prepared the subpoenas, took them to Court with a Motion, got them signed, got them served.

So, again, I'm not really sure what is going on here. Every answer given seems to be wrong based on some additional info.