So I have been dating my boyfriend for four years already although it has been an on and off relationship. We recently got back together, it's been like a week already. I broke up with him two months ago because I started to have feelings for his friend and his friend likes me a lot as well so I broke up with my boyfriend of four years. So his friend and I started dating behind his back and this lasted for two months because I broke up with him because I started to get feeling for my boyfriend of four years and I was tried of having the relationship on the down low and scared that my boyfriend of 4 yrs would find out you have no idea what he is capable of... my feelings for his friend have stayed the same and maybe has grown and I can't stop thinking about him and now my feelings for my boyfriend of 4 yrs aren't the same I love him sometimes and sometimes I'm sick of him... so the guy I dated for two months is willing to put everything out in the open and go through this drama as long as he is with me but I'm too scared to face the consequences and get a bad name I don't know who to pick they are both the best guys ever and I'm just extremely confused and hurting them both but my feeling do count to and I go with what I feel but its seem to me that I get myself in a deeper whole when I do that please help me

You aren't going to like this advice, but I think you should let both relationships go. It doesn't sound like either one one of them are fully meeting your needs and you are caught in a revolving door between them. Time to walk out and move on leaving them behind.

Give yourself time to heal and get rid of the baggage that has piled up. When you are ready, find someone who has the good qualities of both of these males rolled into one person. Someone who you will stay faithful to and not look at his friends as possible partners.

It won't be easy, but it will be the best thing for all three of you.

Stay single until you figured out what you want. Stop leading both guys on.

It's obvious that you don't have any idea what you want, so do these two guys a favor and stop seeing both of them.

It's just not fair for you to yo-yo back and forth.