My adult daughter won't talk with me
We have a daughter who is now 21 and going into her senior year in college. She has a had a very nice life in our home, nice vacations, nice clothes, really almost everything she needed. She is dating a boy and has been for 2 years now. We are paying for her college including the room and board on campus and she will have no loan payments when she finishes. She states she did not get to pick the college she went to and now blames us even though it is a top private school in her chosen field. She says we do nothing for her. She is now at the point where she wants to live off campus, yes with this guy. We are not happy about the idea but have learned that she is going to do what she wants regardless of what we say. At this point she is still signed up to live in the on campus dorms. My question is is it fair for me to say if you want to do this then pay for your own apartment with this man? And all expenses. We have said we will continue the tuition payments. His family has told me that they support any decisions they choose at this point because of their age and has told them this. They do not have the funds to pay for any of this, unfortunately we would, so they are making us look like your don't help your kids. His family had taken out student loans for him and made him pay for his car etc. Our daughter did pay for her own car because she wanted it at the campus and we said she could use our car when not at the campus. Our daughter in turn is turning on us saying his parents are so nice to us and you guys won't help us... They claim we are being munipulating, dominating or controlling them by telling them our feelings that we do not approve. Now she won't talk with us and says you will only see me on holidays like a threat of some sort. The boy told me a year ago they were going to get engaged and it still is not happening. She now wants us to lend her furnishings from our home so they have things for this apartment. My answer was no. I will not support this boy, he is not family. When he becomes family I will help you. I am becoming frustrated with this. His family is looking wonderful to her and we are here with the bill looking like we do nothing. The guy knows how we feel and will not help us at this point. His mom stated to me she does not care what they do married or not, worship a stone or a pagan, joining a nudist colony or whatever.