Well I'm 18 turning 19 soon, I've never hugged/kissed/in reality touched a girl in my life. Never had a girlfriend or anything. I always hear older women call me handsome and get turned on by me, I'm pretty tall, have black hair, and a defined jaw line and a just a generally all around manly face with penetrating eyes, as I was growing up however, girls would always call me ugly, yet older women would be amazed at how supposedly handsome I was. I've never really had a real friend, I can't remember actually talking to a "friend" for a couple years, I've pretty much spent a year in my parents house never going outside. Anyway, onto my question, how can I boost my confidence. I have no confidence in going outside or talking to people, whenever people look at me I feel scared inside and feel kind of agitated you could say. I've felt like this since I was a child, I've never been abused or anything so I don't know why I feel this way. I'm also worried that even if I do get a girlfriend, she will not like me as I live with my parents and have no job, and I understand the nature of females and how they subconsciously are attracted to men who can provide for them, aka rich/successful men. I don't know what to do, I sometimes find myself hating myself, I am always writing down plans of things to do with women, I write documents on codes of ethnics to live by, yet I don't even have the confidence to go outside. My hormone levels are just great, I masturbate 5-10 times a day and am semi-serious into wrestling/weightlifting, so I am healthy as well. I just feel so much pressure inside, whenever I see another guy look at me in real life, I just rage so hard inside, I imagine fighting with him. And I've always felt like this, even as a child growing up, I know I sound like a pretentious ****, and I really hate sounding like a whiny faggot, but I do my part to give back to society in a lot of ways, I often think of myself as a great person, in a lot of ways I contribute to my community. Bah.. I hate to sound like one of these pretentious, full-of-themselves types that love posting on this site for attention, and I truly apologize that I am wasting anyone's time, the last thing I want is to bother anyone, but I am really asking for some sort of help, as I don't understand myself at all.

Thanks in advanced.

5 to 10 times a day! :eek: :eek:You got no time to go looking for girls! :rolleyes:

Sorry, I was overwhelmed.
Seriously,

I think you have dug yourself so deep into a rut that the first step out is to get counseling.

You would be better served to ease out into the world rather than
Burst out upon it,

If you have someone that is right there face to face with you, that can answer your questions as you ask them, it would help you tremendously

Being by yourself for so long , and speculating about women and relationships and life in general ,

You more than likely have brewed up a batch of misconceptions that will be nothing but stumbling blocks when you get out into the real world.

I encourage you to do it now. You are missing out on life , and are learning nothing about interacting with people , which is one of life's
Great pleasures!
And sources of problems and turmoil that it takes experience to learn how to avoid them ,or deal with.

You need to get out and start living.


:mad:5 to 10 times a day?! :rolleyes:

I wish you well.. and apologize for the humor it was not directed at you.It surprised me that it is even possible. Maybe I need to stay in more;)

Quote:

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Originally Posted by martinizing2

5 to 10 times a day!!:eek: :eek:You got no time to go lookin for girls!!:rolleyes:

Sorry, I was overwhelmed.
Seriously,

I think you have dug your self so deep into a rut that the first step out is to get counseling.

You would be better served to ease out into the world rather than
burst out upon it,

If you have someone that is right there face to face with you, that can answer your questions as you ask them, it would help you tremendously

Being by yourself for so long , and speculating about women and relationships and life in general ,

You more than likely have brewed up a batch of misconceptions that will be nothing but stumbling blocks when you get out into the real world.

I encourage you to do it now. You are missing out on life , and are learning nothing about interacting with people , which is one of life's
Great pleasures!
And sources of problems and turmoil that it takes experience to learn how to avoid them ,or deal with.

You need to get out and start living.


:mad:5 to 10 times a day??!!:rolleyes:

I wish you well ..and apologize for the humor it was not directed at you.It surprised me that it is even possible. Maybe I need to stay in more;)

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I agree 100% with you, I should definitely get out there, but ease into the world, instead of jumping straight in, well said.

Yes, 5-10 times a day is the normal amount for my age range. It becomes lower into your 20's.

Quote:

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Originally Posted by c0ckz

I have no confidence in going outside or talking to people, whenever people look at me I feel scared inside and feel kind of agitated....I do my part to give back to society in alot of ways, I often think of myself as a great person, in alot of ways I contribute to my community.

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I'm confused. If you don't leave your house and talk to people, how are you giving back to society and contributing to your community?

Quote:

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Originally Posted by c0ckz

Yes, 5-10 times a day is the normal amount for my age range.

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According to whom? Most young men your age are in school and/or are working, so they don't have time for "5-10 times a day."

I don't know what article you read that says masturbating 5-10 times is normal at your age, but they were wrong. That's excessive.

It seems you've become so accustomed to being by yourself, pleasuring yourself, that you don't know how to interact with other people.

I agree with Martin that you shouldn't just leap into the world after almost 19 years of hiding from it, but you do need to get out, meet people, and stop reading about relationships, and making lists about what you're going to do, and just go out and let people be who they are without any preconceptions on your part.

The world is full of different people, no one fits into a neat little category, and you can't read about people to figure out how they feel, or how they act.

Therapy would be a great start. Baby steps. Figure out why you are the way you are by talking to a professional, and than figure out a plan to integrate yourself into society.

You don't have a very good view of yourself, or of others. Somewhere along the way you came up with this very narrow view of what women and men think and feel. It's not a realistic view, and that's something you have to learn.

Yes, 5 to 10 times a day can cause you some serious issues when you do get to a point of having sex, since you will no longer respond to anything but the feel of your hand.

The issue here is that maybe once or twice a day may be normal for some, a few times a week more normal for others.

5 and more times a day, seriously having a problem.

Next where are you getting the other silly stereotypes??

Some girls like tall men, others like fat, others like tall, some like black, some like white. I tell the story of myself at 50, bald, fat, walk with a cane and a bad eye, guess what at least one if not two dates a weekend.

You get dates by asking girls out, the more you ask, the more that will go out.

First you need to forget about everything you think you know, then start going out

You need counseling before you can even THINK about a girlfriend.

You also need to get a job or go to school.

You need to work on YOU--you don't have the right mindset to be romantically involved with ANYONE right now.

You need to figure out how to love YOU, and confidence will follow.

Thanks for the replies guys, is there are place I can talk to some sort of an advice councilor online for free? Many many thanks for the replies, they're really appreciated.

Also the reason I might masturbate so much is because I have nothing else to do... lol.

Advice counselor online for free!

Why didn't somebody here think of that!

Well you got damn good at it evidently

Why for free?

I'm a counselor, and highly recommend you see one in person. Online won't do it for you.

If you're thinking about money, many counselors work on a sliding scale. If you need help pinpointing several in your area, let me know. A Google search should locate some for you, or call your county health services office. Once you've got a short list of names, call the offices and make an appointment with one that feels like a good fit.

I agree that going to an online counselor isn't the answer.

The whole point of seeing a counselor in person is to get one on one advice. There are many things that need to be accomplished in person, and going to a counselor will help you take the first step out of your home, out of your comfort zone.

If you want to meet people, find that confidence, you need to stop using the computer and go out and do it.

You need to SEE a counselor.

Part of your problem is that you never get out.

You need to learn to interact face-to-face with people. NOT online.

Google a counselor in your area and make a phone call.

Makes sense... thanks.

Just to add to what the others have said.

LEAVE THE OLD MAN ALONE !!!

Get out and find something more interesting to do with your time.

5 - 10 times a day... I think its high time you got into counseling. That's an obsessive behaviour if I ever saw one.


Don't even think about women until you fix that problem.