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-   -   Kindly save my relationship and give me some good advices (https://www.askmehelpdesk.com/showthread.php?t=497837)

  • Aug 13, 2010, 11:50 AM
    kh.aslam
    Kindly save my relationship and give me some good advices
    Hi Sir/Madam,

    Good day

    2 weeks ago I spilt with my girlfriend and she does not want me anymore, she accused me that I lied to her and hide about, that I have a relationship with other women. She text me last night that you should look for another women because our relationship is now over.

    Dear Sir/Madam, I meet this women who is in 40s during our official meeting, soon after meeting we went for coffee, we became friends. She said that she is already living with her boy friend but she did not like him because he is liar , dishonest, and doing unfair means in his job she doesn’t like him she want to get rid of him therefore she is in search of such a person with whom she can live with comfort.
    After our regular meetings we went into a relationship, I did not told her that I was also living with my college mate, because I was scared that if I will expose it at first I will lose her, but after our regular dates our relationship goes deeper , she invited me in her house and we had sex 2 times . Now I was so much involved in her, that I could not stop myself to tell her that I am living with someone.
    When I told her , she was puzzled but at same time she told me it is OK we need to talk and it is you who has to decide that wither you want to live with her or with few days she stopped talking to me on phone and replying my texts. I left my previous college mate with whom I was living, and I also text her that I am now alone, I have left her. But after my continuous text messages and phones she replied 2 time through text that I don’t want you any more it is over because you lied me and hide about your previous girl friend. I tried to explain but she did not listen me.
    She also advice me that I should look for someone else.
    Dear Sir/Madam, honestly speaking I love her so much I don't want to leave her, she don’t reply my calls and texts.

    Kindly save my relationship and give me some good advices

    Kind regards
    Khawaja
  • Aug 13, 2010, 12:30 PM
    kctiger

    Hey Khawaja. To be honest I don't think there was ever anything to save. This was never a relationship no matter how much you wanted it to be. You were both still involved with other people and this seems to be nothing more than a quick fling. Whatever you had, it is over, and for good. Save your dignity and time and respect her wishes. Leave her alone. You'll get over this in time.
  • Aug 13, 2010, 12:59 PM
    Kitkat22

    Get away and stay away. There is nothing to save except yourself esteem and you'll lose that if you don't make a clean break. She doesn't love you.
  • Aug 13, 2010, 01:07 PM
    martinizing2
    Honesty is the best policy.

    And honestly I think you need to accept that she doesn't want you.
    You were both in relationships when you got together.
    You both were being dishonest.

    Take her advice and look for another woman, your relationship is over.

    Next time be honest and see how that works for you.
  • Aug 13, 2010, 01:12 PM
    Kitkat22

    I agree with Marty and Kc. You are in a no win situation.
  • Aug 13, 2010, 09:53 PM
    Jake2008
    I'm confused.

    She was living with somebody, in a relationship, and was looking for a new man to replace the old one with.

    You were living with someone, and fell for the otherwise involved woman, and by the sounds of things, planned a future with her.

    But, the first woman accused you of lying to her because you didn't disclose you had a significant other in your life.

    Yet, she cheated on her significant other with you.

    She is judging you? You are judging her?

    Both of you cheated, both of you lied, both of you used each other, and both of you crashed and burned as a result.

    Neither one of you sound like you are anywhere mature enough to have a serious relationship with anybody.

    Let her go, and leave her to live her life with her boyfriend, and find her own way. You should try to think with a clear head here, and realize that, getting involved with a woman who is essentially not available, because she is already involved with someone else, will get you nowhere fast.

    This is not love. It's not even a friendship. It's two adults acting like 12 year olds not knowing which end is up.
  • Aug 14, 2010, 04:35 AM
    talaniman

    I like the way you make the one you live with "just a college mate" and how easily you cast her aside for someone that has someone already. Bet you think the college mate will take you back. I hope NOT.

    Pay attention, you did what the other guy did, but two cheaters don't ever succeed in a relationship. So my advice is leave the girls alone until you can make better more honest, and healthier choices. Sorry this is a relationship that shouldn't be saved.
  • Aug 14, 2010, 04:44 AM
    Devorameira

    Both of you started into the relationship under the wrong circumstances. It's just not right to be living with one and seeing another.

    She was open to you and told you up front about living with the guy, so I'm sure she expected the same honesty from you. (She did demonstrate some honesty - just was a full fledged cheater like you).

    She really was never available to form a relationship with you and doesn't want to be with you, so move on.

    Next time you want to get involved with another woman be sure that you're both available.
  • Aug 14, 2010, 10:31 AM
    Kitkat22

    Sort of of like "out with the old, in with the new"... Life goes on.
  • Aug 14, 2010, 10:41 AM
    Homegirl 50

    This was a fling that was off balance and doomed from day one, it just crashed and burned.
    Take this as a lesson learned and move on.
    The next time you enter a relationship with someone, make sure you are both available and free of excess baggage.
  • Aug 15, 2010, 01:31 AM
    Ithappenstoall

    Just a curiosity where are you from ?

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