Hi!

This is my first time. I need to see if I am over reacting. I am in relationship with this guy for four years he says he wants to marry me but keeps avoiding the final steps. Meanwhile I have on and off found text messages coming in from some stranger who addresses him as baboie and that they miss him etc. first time he passed me spam crap I let it go. Than I found it again on thanksgiving week end I was made so answered it on his phone and let him know that I was aware of his stupid play around requested that we talk he avoids the issue. I sent him two e-mail and no response from him he lives in another city so what should I do? How do I get him to talk and I have made my intention clear to him that if he is going to have one sided commuted relationship than he can hit the road. He is trying to be nice does all the things to avoid being with me. So we will not have to talk. What should I do? Do you think I am over reacting? His family and friends all like me he wants me but I get the feeling he wants to keep me on side while he plays around. I do not want to settle for less.

Ditch him. If he will not be honest with you, honey, don't even waste your time. If it is bumpy now it will most likely not work out in a marriage. There is someone out there that will LOVE you and RESPECT you. Don't settle for less. There is a special man out there waiting for the day you allow them to care about you, your feelings, your thoughts, your aches and pains. This guy doesn't seem to care one way or the other.

Dump the chump. Typically when people have a "feeling" its right, so trust your instincts. It may help you to read your own post as if were someone else's post and read you own post. When one begins to hide things and not talk, there is a reason. What gets most of us in trouble is when we have those "gut" feeling and don't listen to them. You deserve far me than he is providing.

I think that he is being evasive and not acting in a way which shows that he wants the relationship to succeed. A marriage will only work if TWO people really want it, You cannot deo all the work.
As far as GUT feelings are concerned -you need to listen to them as an "alert" signal BUR do not act on them until you have some REAL evidence which drives you to mistrust him .
A text from another woman is REAL evidence .
YOu do deserve tptal honest and loyalty from the dude .Anything less will break your heart in the future .

Not to sound cold, but if you have to ask... you already know the answer to your question. He isn't worthy and you should call a spade a spade.

I do not want to settle for less.[/QUOTE]

I think you answered your own question here. Are you settling for less than what you deserve?

Stick to your guns and don't settle for anything less than what you want.

I'd click my heels and RUN away from this guy as fast as your legs will carry you. You're right, you don't need this and shouldn't have to tolerate it. No self-respecting person would.

I could go through that line by line like I usually do but the reality is you don't need a line by line break down. You already know the answer. He's using you. You are his toy on the side. You know it. So far it's unanimous... Kick him to the curb.