:( I don't understand, why come everyone think that I suppose to be over the death of the love of my life. People fail to realize that "he is the love of my life" I will never get over what happen I would just learn how to cope with it better. What I don't understand is why are people so cruel, people I thought were my friends are really not because if they were they would be behind me through this terrible time. The love of my life passed away two months ago, the pain that I feel inside is still tearing me up.
Any Advice

DJ85

The only advice I can give is time...

It takes time to grieve the loss of a loved one. Grief is subjective, meaning it is different for every person. It takes everyone different amounts of time to get over such a terrible loss as this.

I am sorry for your loss, but know that it will get easier with time.

For everyone else, just let them know you are still in the process of greiving and you will get over it in your own time.

I feel terrible for what you are going through if that is any consolation at all.

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Originally Posted by dj85

:( I dont understand, why come everyone think that I suppose to be over the death of the love of my life. People fail to realize that "he is the love of my life" i will never get over what happen I would just learn how to cope with it better. What I dont understand is why are people so cruel, people I thought were my friends are really not because if they was they would be behind me through this terrible time. The love of my life passed away two months ago, the pain that I feel inside is still tearing me up.
Any Advice

DJ85

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You have to realize that people who have never experienced the absolute horror of the sudden tragic death of a loved one have no idea what it's like, or how long it takes to regain any kind of equilibrium and composure after it happens. They aren't cruel, just thoughtless and ignorant of the reality of what you're experiencing.

Two months is barely time enough to get through the initial shock, and nowhere near long enough to be fully functional. Be patient and pace yourself. This is a marathon, not a sprint. Be kind to yourself. Eat right, get enough sleep, stay healthy, and pay your bills. Anything more than that is unnecessary. You're right, it's not something you get over, but you will eventually learn to live with it.

In the meantime, there's not much to do except ride the waves as they rise and fall within you. My heart goes out to you, and if there was any way I could relieve you of your burden, I would gladly do it. But this is your "valley of the shadow of death", and nobody else can walk it for you. Take what comfort you can from the knowledge that this experience will relieve you of a lot of inconsequential foolishness that most people your age will still be wasting their time on ten years from now.

Two months is hardly enough time to get over the "love of your life". I have two friends which both lost their loves this year. One of the lost hers in May and the other was in October. My friend whom lost her love in May is still in counseling but getting better with each day!

What you need is someone to be there for you to listen and let you cry on their shoulder. Be there to help them with anything they need help with. You don't need to be lectured or told how you should feel!

Time heals all!

DJ85,

They don't know what you are going through. Sad to say but we go through the grief alone. My daughter lost her baby daughter, my fist granddaughter - Jessica Rose. My baby was in pain over her baby and there was nothing I could do but just be there if she needed me. If I couldn't help my own daughter, what chance have friends got of helping you? I'm sure they have tried but they just can't, no matter how hard they try. It's a very private thing. How I deal with it is that I have began to collect small teddy bears in her name. My daughter collects beautiful angels - and what a collection she has. We also have some special little ornaments on our Christmas trees that come out every year. Find something that will remind you of 'the love of your life' and allow it to give you some comfort.