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-   -   Signs! (https://www.askmehelpdesk.com/showthread.php?t=496175)

  • Aug 8, 2010, 01:26 PM
    albear
    Signs!
    Sign over a Gynecologist's Office:
    "Dr. Jones, at your cervix."


    **************************
    In a Podiatrist's office:
    "Time wounds all heels."


    **************************
    On a Septic Tank Truck:
    Yesterday's Meals on Wheels


    **************************
    On a Plumber's truck:
    "We repair what your husband fixed."


    **************************
    On another Plumber's truck:
    "Don't sleep with a drip. Call your plumber."


    **************************
    On a Church's Bill board:
    "7 days without God makes one weak."


    **************************
    At a Tyre Store
    "Invite us to your next blowout."


    **************************
    On an Electrician's truck:
    "Let us remove your shorts."


    **************************
    In a Non-smoking Area:
    "If we see smoke, we will assume you are on fire and take appropriate action."
    **************************
    On a Maternity Room door:
    "Push. Push. Push."


    **************************
    At an Optometrist's Office:
    "If you don't see what you're looking for, you've come to the right place."


    **************************
    On a Taxidermist's window:
    "We really know our stuff."


    **************************
    On a Fence:
    "Salesmen welcome! Dog food is expensive!"


    **************************
    At a Car Dealership:
    "The best way to get back on your feet - miss a car payment."


    **************************
    Outside a Car Exhaust Store:
    "No appointment necessary. We hear you coming."


    **************************
    In a Vets waiting room:
    "Be back in 5 minutes. Sit! Stay!"


    **************************
    In a Restaurant window:
    "Don't stand there and be hungry; come on in and get fed up."


    **************************
    In the front yard of a Funeral Home:
    "Drive carefully. We'll wait."


    **************************
    And don't forget the sign at a
    RADIATOR SHOP:
    "Best place in town to take a leak."


    **********************
    Sign on the back of yet another
    Septic Tank Truck:
    "Caution - This Truck is full of Political Promises"
  • Aug 8, 2010, 01:39 PM
    Catsmine

    A friend of mine's welcome mat:

    "Ring bell and run

    The Rottweiler needs the exercise."
  • Aug 8, 2010, 01:48 PM
    Kitkat22

    Love those signs allbear.
  • Aug 8, 2010, 01:51 PM
    albear

    Thanks :)

    My favourite is the funeral home one, I can imagine the people saying it with an evil smile while rubbing their hands :D
  • Aug 8, 2010, 01:54 PM
    Kitkat22
    Quote:

    Originally Posted by albear View Post
    thanks :)

    my favourite is the funeral home one, i can imagine the people saying it with an evil smile while rubbing their hands :D

    My favorite is, We repair what your husband fixes,:eek:
  • Aug 10, 2010, 04:23 PM
    Aurora_Bell

    Cute signs! I liked the funeral home one too. And the one on the sign.
  • Aug 10, 2010, 04:37 PM
    DoulaLC

    Here's a real groaner, but it made me laugh... but then, I'm easily amused... :)

    Two blondes had driven across the country to see Disney World in Florida.

    As they approached it and got onto the final stretch of highway, they saw a sign saying "Disney World Left!"

    After thinking for a minute, the driver blonde said "Oh well!" and started driving back home.
  • Aug 10, 2010, 04:39 PM
    Aurora_Bell

    Grrroooaaannn.
  • Aug 11, 2010, 08:10 PM
    twinkiedooter

    My ultimate favorite sign on a Southern sanitation garbage truck from South Florida was:

    We Cater Weddings! (sign had wedding bells and a wedding cake)
    Free Snow Removal! (sign had a snowman with top hat)

    I love the rottie needs exercise. Good One.
  • Aug 11, 2010, 09:17 PM
    Aurora_Bell

    Not really signs, but when my cousins and I were younger, we had 3 favorite was to answer the phone:

    "Hello, house of the Lord, God speaking"
    "Bella's Funeral home, you stab 'em, we slab 'em"
    "Bella's Funeral home, you slice 'em, we dice 'em"


    I know vulgar :p
  • Aug 12, 2010, 01:38 AM
    Catsmine
    Then there's the sign with a drawing looking down the muzzle of a HUGE revolver with a caption of "Don't worry about the dog."

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