My son will soon be 23, emancipated in MA.

House has approx 200k equity, I am entitled to 1/2 after 1/2 of repairs is needed.

I don't care if she sells or wants to buy be out, I need my equity, after paying over 180k
Child support over 20 years.

She will not do anything, phone disconnected. How can I force this?

I just want my cash and move on,

I don't want to get a lawyer rich over this.

Thanks

If it is written into the court orders then you have to go back to court with either a contempt charge or an order to compell the sale. She will need to be given a reasonable time for getting it done and must cooperate.

Your question is a bit confusing. What does your son being emancipated have to do with anything? HH was emancipated when he turned 18. By emancipated do you mean that you no longer owe support for him?

I'm assuming the "she" you refer to is the mother of your son. It sounds like the divorce stated you should split the house. If so, we need to know what the divorce decree said and how long ago where you divorced?

yes, and if the house was to be sold from the divorce why was it not sold years ago ( sounds like divorce was years ago by the years you paid child support

Was it part of the divorce you had to wait.
** and now is the wost time, where did the value and equity values come in, homes in the US have lost from 1/2 and more in the past 3 years in most places.

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Originally Posted by ScottGem

Your question is a bit confusing. What does your son being emancipated have to do with anything? hH was emancipated when he turned 18. By emancipated do you mean that you no longer owe support for him?

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I guess it was a marital home and his ex-wife got an order of temporary exclusive occupancy until the child is emancipated.It is common for the residential parent to have the right to live in the marital home until the child/ren/ is/are grown.
In the state of Massachusetts parents have obligation to pay child support and other college expenses of their children.Massachusetts is one of only two states that require child support to be paid until a child reaches the age of 23, if that child elects to go to college.

However I read this question as ."My support obligation is over and my ex does not have standing to continue the previous status quo"

Ok thanks for the answers, I will clarify

Yes I was divorced in 1990, have paid child support approx 180k up until he was 21. For several years I was paying WAY over the guidelines but "nice guy" never had a modification put forth.

The age of emancipation is 23 provided he is still in college which he is, in Massachusetts.

The decree states "1/2 value of house to go to father upon age of emancipation, minus 1/2 of any repairs due".

Basically I will have to have her dragged out of the house kicking and screaming. I have not seen my children since 1999 although the divorce stated she would keep the kids in touch with me... Ugly divorce, false accusations of child molestation, which a GAL verified by my son telling him "mommy told me to say it" This is all in writing in court documents, BTW.

Now he actually turns 23 in Feb, so I am trying to get all of my ducks in a row. I am hand to mouth weekly, while she enjoys a house and land currently valued at approx 250k, with a 500 mtg (including tax and ins).
17k left on Mtg.

Someone told me I could sue her for defamation and go after the whole house but I am cash poor. No lawyer will help me on a contingency basis.

Any and all advice appreciated. I have been told of men's groups but not sure what they can really do. I would LOVE to find a hungry lawyer
who could help on a contingency basis. I may well have to settle to represent myself.

As I said I don't expect her to go peacefully.

First, I have to say, if you haven't seen your children, I wonder how much you put into enforcing the court order. Why didn't you ask for a specifric visitiation schedule?

As to the house, you will have to take her to court. Are you aware of the repair costs? Have you had the house professionally appraised? That would be the first step, have the house professionally appraised, then file suit against her for $125K (or whatever). Require her to produce any bills for repairs.

Thanks for the reply.

As far as enforcing visitation, I have lived in Fl and currently in GA.

The whole thing started when I came home and found my wife thorwing my kid on the wall screaming at him. I read her to riot act and soonafter the allegation started (on my 30th birthday nonetheless).

I spent approx 25k first fighting the rape charge, (which I explained earlier), mom coerced son to parrot statements. And getting the divorce. I filed numerous contempt charges such as: I was allowed visitation on Christmas, only to go to the house and find a HAHA note written on the door, with mom and son gone. After filing contempt, paying a lawyer 800. To support me, the judge merely said "bad mom". She basically knew how to play victim and bleed me dry with court costs, getting free lawyers due to claiming no job.

I was late 10 min once bringing son back from visitation due to snowstorm and she claimed I had flown the state. There were police at the airport and everything! I was pulled over 2 miles from the house, bringing my son home and everything was OK.

In a nutshell I have suffered for over 20 years, do not know my child, and just want to cut loose this last thread, pay a ton of back bills and try to move on.

I'm not trying to whine, jut to let you know a glimpse of my situation. I am soon to turn 50, have no IRA, retirement or the like, and just want to make sure I am not eating pet food when I retire. I have since re-married and my wife just knows my children as a sore spot and we do not discuss it. How do you document 20+ years of pain and loss? I have been on zoloft for a while and do my best to silently pray for my children and eek out a life.

Bruce
Wine Manager (although don't drink much at all)

Ok fair enough. But, as noted, you will have to sue her for your share of the house and you will need documentation of what that share amounts to.

I'm going to step away from the legal aspects for a moment and make a suggestion to you. Send your son a letter stating that you are sorry you were not able to be a greater part of his life while he was growing up. Tell him that you tried but his mother kept interfering and you have evidence to prove that. Tell him you do not want to come between him and his mother, but your door is open to him if he wants to re-establish a relationship with you. I think you will feel better for it and he may as well.

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Originally Posted by ScottGem

Ok fair enough. But, as noted, you will have to sue her for your share of the house and you will need documentation of what that share amounts to.

I'm going to step away fromt he legal aspects for a moment and make a suggestion to you. Send your son a letter stating that you are sorry you were not able to be a greater part of his life while he was growing up. Tell him that you tried but his mother kept interfering and you have evidence to prove that. Tell him you do not want to come between him and his mother, but your door is open to him if he wants to re-establish a relationship with you. I think you will feel better for it and he may as well.

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I agree. The only difference I would state is that I believe you can go through the courts that granted the divorce with that paperwork and have the house up for sale. If she refuses or interferes then hold her in contempt. You can get it appraised and the money to fix the house as there is a lot of equity there can come from escrow. The remainder can be split 50/50. If she wants to buy you out. The market is right for it. Then no stall tactics and you get an appraisal with references from a licensed appraiser in that area. Then she can pay you 1/2 the value if that is what she wants. Either way you walk away from it with pocket money and a chance to rebuild. You don't need the stress of a lawsuit. Just rebuild from here.

I should have specified to try and go through the court that issued the original order first.

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Originally Posted by ScottGem

I should have specified to try and go through the court that issued the original order first.

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Sorry I missunderstood the line " you will have to sue her for your share of the house ".

My bad. :o

I realize this is over two years ago, but I'm going to add an answer in the hopes that other future ex-husbands (or ex-wives) read this and realize this is not a good way to go: You having to leave the home and waiting until the children are emancipated to sell the home, while your spouse doesn't have to buy you out. I too am in your situation, only in Minnesota, a divorced dad who is looking into how to force the selling-the-home issue with my ex-wife now that my children are emancipated. My ex-wife doesn't want to sell either. And, she was married to some other guy for 10 yrs. Between, and took out a second mortgage with him. They are divorced now, but his name is still on most of the home ownership papers, and my name is long since gone. So, I suppose if the home were to be sold, I'd now have a 3rd party to deal with. My ex-wife is not currently living in the house, but my adult son is renting it from her--with all monies going to her. Anyway, point to be made is that it is going to be ugly, and I am thankful for the above advice given, but I still don't know how you could force the situation without spending a lot of money on attornies. Neither man nor woman should let themselves get into this situation to begin with in a divorce.

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Originally Posted by jackInStalk

I realize this is over two years ago, but I'm going to add an answer in the hopes that other future ex-husbands (or ex-wives) read this and realize this is not a good way to go: You having to leave the home and waiting until the children are emancipated to sell the home, while your spouse doesn't have to buy you out. I too am in your situation, only in Minnesota, a divorced dad who is looking into how to force the selling-the-home issue with my ex-wife now that my children are emancipated. My ex-wife doesn't want to sell either. And, she was married to some other guy for 10 yrs. inbetween, and took out a second mortgage with him. They are divorced now, but his name is still on most of the home ownership papers, and my name is long since gone. So, I suppose if the home were to be sold, I'd now have a 3rd party to deal with. My ex-wife is not currently living in the house, but my adult son is renting it from her--with all monies going to her. Anyway, point to be made is that it is going to be ugly, and I am thankful for the above advice given, but I still don't know how you could force the situation without spending a lot of money on attornies. Neither man nor woman should let themselves get into this situation to begin with in a divorce.

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You are incorrect - I have no idea why this is your situation.

It was not my experience nor is it "standard legal practice."

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Originally Posted by jackInStalk

...They are divorced now, but his name is still on most of the home ownership papers, and my name is long since gone. ....

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If your name is no longer on the title, and they subsequently encumbered the house, it looks like you have long since messed up. Congratulations on saving money for a bunch of lawyers. Didn't need them, at all, did you? :)

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Originally Posted by AK lawyer

If your name is no longer on the title, and they subsequently encumbered the house, it looks like you have long since messed up. Congratulations on saving money for a bunch of lawyers. Didn't need them, at all, did you? :)

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Only a fool - never mind.