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-   -   My wife says I am selfish? (https://www.askmehelpdesk.com/showthread.php?t=495645)

  • Aug 6, 2010, 07:24 PM
    jgirard22
    My wife says I am selfish??
    My wife says that I am selfish, and that everything we do or talk about is about me. I would consult with my family "father" on issues before her. I also would make rash decisions without asking her opinion or consent. At first I would argue with her about it or ignore the issue totally. I was just diagnosed with ADHD with signs of being impulsive. I just started medication for it. Now everything she has been saying seems to make sense. At first I didn't realize how horrible I had been treating her. Right now my wife is on her last nerve with me. She already threatened me with a divorce. How do I fix this mess? How do I gain her trust back? How do I do a 180 turn around from where I'm at now? I'm lost and I don't know what to do at this point. I love her and I don't want to lose her!
  • Aug 6, 2010, 07:39 PM
    Wondergirl

    Are you or will you be seeing a counselor to help you with the ADHD? Both of you need education about this, especially with the adult version, and help in dealing with it.

    Would she divorce you if you had a brain tumor or prostate cancer?
  • Aug 6, 2010, 07:50 PM
    jgirard22

    Haha that is a good way to look at it I guess. Anyway yes I am seeing a counselor. I see her once every two weeks.
  • Aug 6, 2010, 08:22 PM
    Wondergirl
    Quote:

    Originally Posted by jgirard22 View Post
    Haha that is a good way to look at it I guess. Anyways yes I am seeing a counselor. I see her once every two weeks.

    Ask the counselor to invite your wife to a couple of sessions. Call the counselor before the next session.
  • Aug 6, 2010, 08:24 PM
    jgirard22

    Sounds like a plan... thank you so much for your advice.
  • Aug 6, 2010, 09:28 PM
    martinizing2
    Comment on Wondergirl's post
    What a great idea. Learning about it together. Seems it would make understanding it easier for both.
  • Aug 7, 2010, 06:37 PM
    Homegirl 50
    Have you told your wife what you just told us?
  • Aug 8, 2010, 09:07 AM
    talaniman

    Be nice if she could go with you to counseling with you, other wise you just have to prove you are becoming more empathetic, and less impulsive, with actions.

    Getting help and guidance is a great step though, to learning how to step back and think before you act, or speak.

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