Ask Me Help Desk - How can I get this girl...

How can I get this girl...

Ok, There's this girl named Kaleigh who I love a lot, We were like best friends till her boyfriend took her away, And she has always been there for me when I needed her and she stopped me from killing myself (I have a bad life, My dad is a drunk and abusive and my stepmom hates me and my sister because of stupid *** reasons my older brother told her like saying I was worthless and lazy), I have known her for 5 years, and I mean like I really love her, But her boyfriend is a low life ***** who always says he's going to beat my *** if I talk to Kaleigh, And the kid cheated on Kaleigh by having sex with another girl... What am I supposed to do ):

You leave it be. She has a boyfriend. She made a choice.

Leave it be? No, That Kid has done more for me than I can ever think of and her Boyfriend has done jacksquat to help her

Her boyfriend did not take her away,she made the choice.

You have to concentrate on your own life and making new friends.

You don't say how old you are but I'm going to guess teenager?

Keep your head down in school,get the best grades you can so you can get the best life has to offer.

You won't be this age forever,things will change for you,you will meet new people,some will stay some will move on.

For now,your friend is getting on with her life,you do the same.

Quote:

Originally Posted by ifightforu

Leave it be? No, That Kid has done more for me than i can ever think of and her Boyfriend has done jacksquat to help her

How old are you both?

Yet she's still with him.

Like I said, her choice, and you're not it. If she wanted to be with you, she would be.

Quote:

Originally Posted by ifightforu

Leave it be? No, That Kid has done more for me than i can ever think of and her Boyfriend has done jacksquat to help her

She wants to be with him,its not up to you to 'help' her.

If she is in danger,tell an adult.

Quote:

Originally Posted by Kitkat22

How old are you both?

Im 14 and she's 14

The best thing you can do is distance yourself from her and the entire situation.

Spend the energy and time on you.
Talk to someone about you feel. I recommend a school counselor or minister, someone who can help you feel better about yourself, or refer you to someone who can help.

She has made her choice and you need to forget about her.
Do not talk to her, text , stay off FB and all others.

This needs to be time for you to heal and work on feeling better about you.

I wish you well

When people give responses you should not come back with an angry response. You came on this forum asking for advice and when someone gives advice, you come back with your own answer.

Do you want advice or not? Seems as though you already have your mind made up.
Tell and adult. You are too young to get involved.

Quote:

Originally Posted by martinizing2

The best thing you can do is distance yourself from her and the entire situation.

Spend the energy and time on you.
Talk to someone about you feel. I recommend a school counselor or minister, someone who can help you feel better about yourself, or refer you to someone who can help.

She has made her choice and you need to forget about her.
Do not talk to her, text , stay off FB and all others.

This needs to be time for you to heal and work on feeling better about you.

I wish you well

That's where I cant... She stopped me from killing myself, And forgetting about her will bring back all my problems again... She's the only one in the last 10 years after my mum died that has said they were proud with me, And I tried talking to counselors and I've called the cops on my dad for abusing me, But he comes right back because of my stepmom and abuses me more

14 is way too young to be committed or in a relationship.

You have far too much to learn before you venture there.

But I still advise you to stop all communication with them, and talk to someone about you. You deserve to feel good about you.

She did not make your problems go away,they were still there,you coped,and you can cope now.

Do you think she can solve your problems at 14?

no.

What can she do?

Nothing.

She was there when you needed someone,there are other people who can help you,teachers,social workers,adults who can make a difference in your life.

Quote:

Originally Posted by ifightforu

Thats where i cant... She stoped me from killing myself, And forgetting bout her will bring back all my problems again... Shes the only one in the last 10 years after my mum died that has said they were proud with me, And I tryed talking to counselors and ive called the cops on my dad for abusing me, But he comes right back because of my stepmom and abuses me more

If you are being abused we have laws that will see you are removed from an unsafe place. Or steps be taken to make you safe.

When you say he abuses you, what exactly takes place ? If possible could you give specific instances.

Report the abuse of your Dad and stepmom. You are worth something. You don't need a girl to make you strong.

You have strength inside to be somebody. You are not junk and you deserve to be away from the
Ones who are hurting you.

Tell the authorities, they can help you. You could maybe live with your grandparents.

You really need to report them... everytime it happens... MAKE someone listen.. trust me if you are being abused like you say... they will remove you from that home.. by allowing them to continue doing it you are only empowering them to continue doing it because they have no punishment for their actions... child abuse is against the law... take it from someone who was abused as a child.. the worst thing you can do is remain silent... nowadays its relatively simple for just one complaint to send child services investigating... when I was younger it was still acceptable to be treated the way I was and things weren't looked at so critically.. and I'm not sure why you think she is the only one you can talk to about your problems... they have counselors for that.. there is someone that can HELP you... but what you need to focus on is getting you together.. living your life on a dependency of another person is not healthy

Quote:

Originally Posted by ifightforu

Thats where i cant... She stoped me from killing myself, And forgetting bout her will bring back all my problems again... Shes the only one in the last 10 years after my mum died that has said they were proud with me

Do you want her to leave him because he 'treats her badly' or so that she can continue to take care of your needs?

She is your friend not your girlfriend. She has to make her own decisions about what she will put up with in a relationship. It is a part of growing up and maturing mentally and emotionally.

She is too young to be the only one shouldering your problems. It isn't healthy for either one of you because neither of you have the experience to handle the issues. Counselors, therapists, psychologists, etc. are trained in how to protect their own selves as they help others. She doesn't have that protection. Help both of you by calling your local child abuse hotline. Tell a trusted teacher. Ask her parents for help if you trust them. Call children's services. Churches and other religious institutions can offer help and guidance. You aren't alone.

You know we are here to help you.

Please don't let yourself be drawn into a conflict with this boyfriend of hers.

You need help with your problems and you have to take the first step.

Do you have grandparents who will listen and help? There are all different kinds of help.

Please find someone who will listen.