What Is Going On With My Fiancée?
Warning, Very Long Story/Question, Be Prepared To Read
To begin, this incident started 3 months ago, my fiancée and myself were going through a rocky stretch in our relationship. After being engaged for 7 months and living together for 3 years we had to move out into separate apartments (long story short my fiancée got a new job in Philadelphia, while my job remained in New York City).
Now, while we had our problems, I assumed everything was fine, feeling that every relationship had that hell period and I took it as stress she was experiencing (having to live apart as well as training for the new job). While living apart we continued to see each other on the weekends or when we could and everything was normal (kissing, spooning, making love etc.. ) nothing out of the ordinary.
About 7 weeks ago I was informed that she was leaving on vacation to India for 3 weeks (she had a 3 week paid gap between the end of training and her first day of work) in order to "get away." Now while I was a bit jealous of her going on vacation without me (the first time in 5 years of the relationship) I took it as you could use the vacation especially with all the stress between training, moving, the new job and going for her masters (plus the fact my job wouldn't give me 3 weeks off to save my life). So I was OK with it, until about a week later when I was asked to print out her flight ticket for India. I found numerous, numerous e-mails dating back 3 months between her and another guy in India.
Not hey how are you e-mails, but very racy (NC-17 like) which included places they were going what they were doing when they got there as well as specific times and dates. When I approached her about the e-mails I got my head bit off. Everything from how dare you invade my privacy to you broke my trust to it's none of your business. Now, granted, was it? Yes. But, any other other person, whether it be male or female, who found these e-mails, would have done the same thing. Continuing on, for the next two weeks there was little communication between us she rarely answered texts, rarely answered calls, and even when she did it was the usual one word "Hey" or "What" (Unlike before where it was "hey babe", or "I love you" or "I miss you").
I continue to press the e-mails on her feeling I believed it was owned to me after being together for 5 years, however I made no progress. I got numerous responses about the e-mails (to name a few "I don't know what your talking about", "I was just mad at you", "I am already engaged to him", "My parents set up the engagement I have to follow them" and even, I don't make this up, "I'm dying soon and need to live my life"). Being fed up with the contiunous lies, stories and half answers I immmediately stopped talking to her.
After not talking to her for 2 weeks I went to hang out with friends the Friday before she was suppose to leave, I feel I deserved it. After she found out, I was immediately chewed about by her saying how dare I and that she was pissed and we were done/over. I immediately responded "FINE!" "IT'S DONE!" go to India "Do You" and when you come back will settle the finances (we are both signers and co-signers on both of our car loans, we share a bank account/credit cards as well as our cell phone). Being angry that she ruined the first good night out I've had in weeks since this began, I immediately washed my hands of her.
After finally being done with her and my head cleared of her I woke up the next morning to her at my apartment crying and apologizing. Clearly confused, I invited her in only to get a 100 million sorries from her, sorry for all the stuff she has put me through, sorry for doing stuff behind my back etc. We talked and hung out for the rest of the day (even making love that night). She woke up the next morning (the day she was set to leave) and I accompanied her by train to the airport. While at the airport she apologized even more and said the man in India was no longer an issue and she was going there as my Fiancée and no one else's. She continued with the sorries and the I love yous and I even remained at the airport till her flight left.
Here's where it begins, now while the first week she called me, texted me, sent me e-mails almost every hour (Love You, Miss You, Wish You Were Here, stuff she hasn't said in a while). The 2nd/3rd week the calls, texts and e-mails have seem to stopped. She has very little communication with me and has reverted back to her one word answers of "Hey" and "What." When I brought up Marriage she immediately brought up that I need be "Ok with whatever decision she makes." Now, my question is what is going on with her? Has she completely lost her mind? Did she go to India and decide to play? Should I comfront her when she comes back? Should I try to make this work or just turn the other cheek and walk away from this headache?
