Okay, since it seems like I am on a dead end road with all this stuff that's going on with my son. I need some advice. Me and my boyfriend now will eventually get married and what am I suppose to do when he wants to adopt him? He can't if the "donor" will not sign over his rights.. right? He doesn't want to see my son or anything else, he just wants to make my life a living hell by not signing his rights over. Please Help

So... you had a sperm donor? They sign over their rights when they donate at the clinic.

Oh wait--you mean the guy that was good enough to have sex with isn't good enough to be a father. Does that make people who chose adoption just "donors" too?

Please be careful with your language. I know you don't really mean it, but your anger and bitterness toward one man has just insulted thousands of people who do a wonderful thing by donating eggs and sperm--and by placing children for adoption.

Now--as to adoption: If you cannot prove that he is a danger to the child, then no, you can't take away his rights without his permission. How would you like it if HE could take away YOUR rights just because he didn't like you?

If he wants to keep his rights, then fine. Go to court and get a court order for child support--and KEEP going after him for support.

Your child will know that biology doesn't necessarily mean that someone loves you best (as his step-father will love him with no legal ties), and that it's not HIS fault that his biological father isn't around.

Your animosity toward the biological father is, however, inappropriate around your son. Like it or not, you place him in a position where he has to choose when you do that, and that's not fair. Whatever faults the man had, you were at one point in like/lust/love with him enough to have sex with him. Take responsibility for that, and stop being so bitter that he isn't being the person you want him to be.

Please pay more attention to posting guidelines. There is a Read First sticky in the Children forum (where this was moved from) that directs questions of a legal nature to this forum.

If the biological father (the man you agreed to have sex with) refuses to relinquish his rights your best option is to pursue child support. That may convince him to relinquish.

Otherwise, you need to consult an attorney in your area. While its rare that a court will grant an involuntary TPR, its not unheard of, especially when there is a stepfather (note a stepfather is a male you are MARRIED to) ready to adopt.

I will assume you have a child custody order in place and a child support order that the "donor" ( OK sorry) the bio father is now paying.

If not that is your first line of duty. The rules are different by location, but it is very hard if the bio father will not sign over the rights.

But so what, that does not stop your future husband from being there for the child, it does not stop him from teaching him to play ball, or to drive a car latter. That is what a father is anyway.

And a child should always know they are adopted and about their bio father , so it really is just a legal issue. He just needs to include her in his will, since she will not inherit by law without the adoption