It hurts me to think or even write this... But I need help!!
I think my boyfriends gay... At first it took him 2 months to sleep with me. Now we have sex 4 times out of the 6 months we've been together!. I found gay porn on his computer when I'm not here or I'm asleep! But I love him . He treats me great and he loves my son which is not his real son... He give me what ever I want but I don't think I can be with him if he's gay... Because if he is he's been lying to me our whole relationship!! Help someone help me...

Well, have you asked him?

No I haven't I don't know where to start or whens a good time

Maybe he is bisexual... and never assume... the first three letters in the word assume are what? And that's exactly what you make of yourself anytime you do it... just talk to him about it

You are in a relationship with a man, that you do not know.

For some reason, IF he is gay, or bi or whatever, he chooses not to disclose that fact.

Why did you feel the need to snoop on his computer in the first place. Were you suspicious already because of the low sex drive as you implied? Looking for proof to backup your suspicions?

Living with a man you don't know, that you suspect may be gay, snooping on his computer, all the while superficially allowing a relationship with no substance, and you don't think you should just sit him down and ask him?

If you cannot feel comfortable with any partner enough to talk the nitty gritty, then perhaps it is time you moved on. If you can't communicate with him, what's the point.

Why are you sorry to say you are being deceived he is the sorry one. Don't let anyone convince you that you were snooping. You obviously suspected something was wrong and investegated. It is your right to do so is the information is material to deceit and danger to your health.
You now have credable evidence that he lied about his sexual orientation by not telling you that he liked gay porn and is not so interested in women sexually. You had no creditable evidence before you saw the gay porn, not having sex frequently could have meant he was a hetero man with low libido. Hetero men are not turned on by watching men have sex with each other. So he is most likey gay or bi. He seems more gay since he has sex with you so infrequently and you not even past the hot stage. There are two things you must seriously consider, 1. You may be exposed to a sexually transmitted disease. 2. You have a child living with a man who is hiding his basic nature, what else is he hiding?
You must get your son and yourself out of this situation. Get tested for an STD, get your own place and don't move in with a man. When you date remember you son and his safety and stability comes first. Moving in with men you don't know is not safe for you or him. You and only you stand between him and the harm that can come to him. You should never live with men you don't know. Men prey on desperate women expacially pedophiles so the fact that a man you don't know likes your son is not a good thing. Talk to him if you like but you won't get the truth so don't stay, you don't need strangers to tell you that. As for love you don't love him you love what you hope he is but he is not. Chalk this up to experience and don't be so quick to fall in love and to trust. You should avoid living with any man - stay on your own and get to know the person it takes about 2 years to see a person in different situations and to be able to tell if he is what he says he is. Take care of yourself and good luck to you.

Do NOT let anyone convince you that you are justified in snooping. You break trust when you snoop--just the same as cheating breaks trust.

Now--why do you WANT to have sex with someone you can't TALK to about sex? That just says "stupid" to me--that's how people die from STDs, and how they get pregnant without planning. If you can't talk to someone about your sex life, you shouldn't be having sex with that person to begin with.

That being said: What a person watches for porn may not have ANYTHING to do with their sexual orientation. I have a friend that will only watch lesbian porn--she likes it because she can relate to how they are feeling--but she is DEFINITELY not attracted to women. If you can't ask your boyfriend about why he watches it, then you already don't trust him. (And frankly, if you're snooping, he has good reason not to trust you).

Sit your boyfriend down, admit to your snooping, admit that you were wrong, but say that you really feel that the two of you need to talk about it. Make sure your child is at a babysitter's, and that nothing (like dirty dishes or laundry or his bowling league) is going to distract you during this conversation.

You snooped. That was wrong. You HAVE to admit that you were wrong before the conversation will go forward. Just ask him to please explain himself, and let him know that you deserve an explanation and a conversation about it.

How old are both of you? Do you live together?

'His computer' implies that it was his personal files you were looking through. Self-investigators (snoopers) like eaves droppers rarely find out anything good. Usually, what they find is taken out of context and blown out of proportion.

You have said that you found 'gay' porn on the computer. Did you find heterosexual porn on it too?

As for frequency of sex, there are usually several factors that go into frequency such as timing, stress, libido (some people have a very low sex drive), medications, health issues, weight, self-medicating (marijuana and alcohol tend to be big culprits with that one), etc.

What you are basing your fear on is circumstantial evidence. You haven't 'caught' him in the act of sex with another man, masturbating to homosexually oriented porn, or even looking at it. You have found it and that is all.

Communicate with him. That's the only way you are going to know anything for certain. As Jake said, If you can't talk to him about it, then get out of the relationship because you don't trust him enough to let him know what is bothering you.

"You and only you stand between him and the harm that can come to him. You should never live with men you don't know. Men prey on desperate women expacially pedophiles so the fact that a man you don't know likes your son is not a good thing. Talk to him if you like but you won't get the truth so don't stay, you don't need strangers to tell you that."
Where does it say that I dared call the man a pedophile. I was admonishing the OP about moving in with a man she did not know and the dangers it poses to the child. In this situation I don't really see her problem as the relationship with this man. Her real problem is that she moved herself and her son in with a man soon after meeting him. That would be OK if she were alone but the fact that she seems to put her relationship with the man over and above the safety and security of her child is a big problem. If the relationship does not work out, they move, the boys life is disrupted. Whereas, if she got her own place, she could get to know him over time and then decide if she wanted to introduce him to her son. This way the boy does not have men coming in and out of his life which will be confusing for hom and moving around allot.
Her problem with this man orientation is the lest of her problems, the caviler attitude about who her son meets and where he lives is a big problem. I can understand her need to connect with a man but having a child changes the way she has to introduce men into this child's world. The boy is the most important one in this because he is helpless and his mothers search for a companion takes a back seat to what she must do to raise him.
About the issue of his orientation, all studies on male and female sexual orientation are consistent- hetero women get aroused by hetero and homo sexual videos, men are aroused to sex that reflects his sexual orientation. A man is not likely to waste his time watching gay porn if he were not aroused by it. And if he is aroused by gay porn then his sexual orientation is consistent with what he is aroused by. This latter statement is directly from my partner.
If she does not mind living with a man who appears to finds gay porn more appealing than having sex with her then so be it. If he not gay and just gay curious - she still has the problem of his low labido again, if that's OK for her... There are too many unknowns in this situation the best thing for her and her son is to move. If it turns out that he is actually a wonderful man and she misinterpreted the porn the can do what they should have to begin with, take time to get to know each other.

We haven't actually ascertained that they do live together.

To the OP, take the advice given and have a proper talk with him.

S is right and I was incorrect. Men who watch a lot of porn may become curious about other forms of sexuality and watch gay porn but their sexual orientation remains the same. I looked it up sorry to have mislead you. Another thing is that the men become worried and ashamed. With this in mind, you may actually have nothing to worry about. I don't know if you should talk to him or not this is such a delicate issue he may feel shamed. I think I would talk to him about the frequency of sex issue and stick with that. If while getting to know him he does things to make you feel he may be gay then talk to him in a non accusatory way about those things. If the only evidence you have is gay porn on his computer For suspecting he is gay then it is weak evidence. A better way to judge is by his behavior. Having a low libido should not , in and of it self, be taken as a sign of sexual orientation.