Ive been so stressed out for the past couple of weeks, Ive just finished high school and I haven't been able to find a job because my boyfriend told me that we would supposebly move out. I've been waiting for 2 months now and I was supposed to be leaving 2 days from now and he tells me that we have no ride in getting out of town. We came up with so many plans and we decided to just let one of his friends take us and they had said they will but now they said they won't be able to. I don't get to see my boyfriend a lot and that was one of the reasons we were leaving, so we can be together. At first I thought he didn't want to leave and he proved to me that he did, but now I'm not so shure. I don't know what to do, I already had everything packed and I had money saved up but now he's telling me we should have other plans but us still being here. I don't know what to do, Ive been crying so much because he's da nly person that makes me happy, I have so many problems at home, my family always talks bad about me even thought I've been the good student all the time, I'm just so stressed out, Help Me! Please, I need someone to talk to.

Hi, Princess214!

You will find people on this site who will listen and try to help you.

How do you think your boyfriend proved to you that he wanted to leave, please?

Thanks!

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Originally Posted by Clough

Hi, Princess214!

You will find people on this site who will listen and try to help you.

How do you think your boyfriend proved to you that he wanted to leave, please?

Thanks!

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He came up with all these different plans that we would leave and I always felt he never wanted to leave. See he's a musical artist and he has so many friends and family here and I feel like he's not willing to give it all up. He's about to turn 22 and he's always complaining that he needs to move out but he's doing no actions to actually try to move out. Every time we are about to leave, something always pops up that he's going to do something. I don't know what to do, I want to trust my boyfriend but I don't know if he wants to be with me.

How long have you guys been dating?

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Originally Posted by avaama

how long have you guys been dating?

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We have dated for about 6 months but we broke up, And now we started over and we are 3 weeks away from our 1 year anniversary

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Originally Posted by Princess214

We have dated for about 6 months but we broke up, And now we started over and we are 3 weeks away from our 1 year anniversary

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Okay so if he's putting up exuces that means he doesn't want to leave. Plus imagine if u leave wit him and things don't end up working out would u be able to go back home??

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Originally Posted by avaama

okay so if hes putting up exuces that means he doesnt want to leave. plus imagine if u leave wit him and things dont end up working out would u be able to go back home???

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Well he always says he wants to give me the best, but I always explain to him that I don't care about the money and us being together will only make me happy. And I tell him if things don't work out we have each other and we have to be strong about everything

It doesn't sound like you can count on him, which isn't necessarily anything against him. He is making his own way in life. It sounds like he has good friends and he's close to his family. I think he's probably telling you what you want to hear... that he'll help you escape from what you think is a bad situation. It sounds though that he's happy with his situation. You are both young and have only been together for a total of 6 months. That's too soon to run away together.

You are graduated from high school now, and it's time to figure out what to do with the rest of your life. It's really important to be self-sufficient. You don't want to have to rely on others to help you survive. I think you should get the best job you can find and start saving your money. Think about trying to get some more education, especially since you have been a good student. It will make getting better jobs much easier in the future.

Think about talking to your family. They may not realize how you feel about the way you are being treated. They may not know any other way, and they are trying to push you. Do they like your boyfriend? Is that part of what they give you a bad time about? If your home situation is really not bearable, look into finding your own place. That could be renting a room from someone with the money you make from working. I really hope you look into getting some additional schooling or training. It makes such a difference.

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Originally Posted by Just Looking

It doesn't sound like you can count on him, which isn't necessarily anything against him. He is making his own way in life. It sounds like he has good friends and he's close to his family. I think he's probably telling you what you want to hear ... that he'll help you escape from what you think is a bad situation. It sounds though that he's happy with his situation. You are both young and have only been together for a total of 6 months. That's too soon to run away together.

You are graduated from high school now, and it's time to figure out what to do with the rest of your life. It's really important to be self-sufficient. You don't want to have to rely on others to help you survive. I think you should get the best job you can find and start saving your money. Think about trying to get some more education, especially since you have been a good student. It will make getting better jobs much easier in the future.

Think about talking to your family. They may not realize how you feel about the way you are being treated. They may not know any other way, and they are trying to push you. Do they like your boyfriend? Is that part of what they give you a bad time about? If your home situation is really not bearable, look into finding your own place. That could be renting a room from someone with the money you make from working. I really hope you look into getting some additional schooling or education. It makes such a difference.

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Thanks but I have so many problems at home as well, see I come from a very abusive family and I have no freedom as well, and by the way were going to be together for one year. The only reason why I haven't gotten a job is because he told me we would leave. But now I'm still confused

I read that you said you were together for 6 months, broke up, and then got back together. I didn't read that as having been together for a full year now. Sorry if I misunderstood.

I understand why you didn't get a job but, now that he doesn't seem to want to follow through with the plans, it is time to look for a job. I still think you need to be able to take care of yourself. You can't just sit around and wait to see what he decides.

Is there any possibility of you both staying in town rather than leaving together? Can you do everything you wanted to do, but in your town where he still has the support of his family and friends?

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Originally Posted by Just Looking

I read that you said you were together for 6 months, broke up, and then got back together. I didn't read that as having been together for a full year now. Sorry if I misunderstood.

I understand why you didn't get a job but, now that he doesn't seem to want to follow thru with the plans, it is time to look for a job. I still think you need to be able to take care of yourself. You can't just sit around and wait to see what he decides.

Is there any possibility of you both staying in town rather than leaving together? Can you do everything you wanted to do, but in your town where he still has the support of his family and friends?

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No that is the reason why we are leaving in the first place, I never get to see him because my parents are so strict. Im 18 and no matter how many times I try to convince them that I'm old enough they never seem to care. He tells me I have to be patient but he's always complaining that he needs to move out as well. He's like the only person I have and cares about me and he's the only one I want to be with

Do you have any friends? I'm a little worried that you are putting all your hopes in his hands. He might complain that he's not happy at home, but he's 22 and still there. You've already said you suspect he doesn't want to leave because of his family and friends. I'm suggesting you see if there's a way to stay in your town, which is meeting his needs, but find a different place for you to live. If you have a job and some money, you might be able to rent a room somewhere.

I know you have said your home situation is abusive, but I also know a lot of teens say that when they aren't happy. You don't have to answer this, but how are you being mistreated?

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Originally Posted by Just Looking

Do you have any friends? I'm a little worried that you are putting all your hopes in his hands. He might complain that he's not happy at home, but he's 22 and still there. You've already said you suspect he doesn't want to leave because of his family and friends. I'm suggesting you see if there's a way to stay in your town, which is meeting his needs, but find a different place for you to live. If you have a job and some money, you might be able to rent a room somewhere.

I know you have said your home situation is abusive, but I also know a lot of teens say that when they aren't happy. You don't have to answer this, but how are you being mistreated?

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I saved some money but it was for us to leave, and I don't think my parents would approve of me leaving yet. Im mistreated because I don't feel appreciated, I've been getting hit since I was a little girl. My brother is always hitting me and no matter what I tell him he doesn't care. Im not feeling loved by them

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Originally Posted by Princess214

I saved some money but it was for us to leave, and i dont think my parents would approve of me leaving yet. Im mistreated because i dont feel appreciated, ive been gettin hit since i was a little girl. my brother is always hitting me and no matter what i tell him he doesnt care. Im not feeling loved by them

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Have you tried to talk to your parents, or any other adults if you are afraid of them? Are you afraid of them? How old is your brother?

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Originally Posted by Just Looking

Have you tried to talk to your parents, or any other adults if you are afraid of them? Are you afraid of them? How old is your brother?

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Yes I've tried to talk to my parents but talking to them is like talking to a wall. My brother is 24

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Originally Posted by Princess214

Yes ive tried to talk to my parents but talking to them is like talking to a wall. My brother is 24

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Does your brother live at home?

I don't know the situation with your parents, so it's difficult to offer a lot of advice. I am wondering if they know how unhappy you are and that you want to leave home. Do you have other adults (aunt, grandparents, older cousins?) who can help in any way?

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Originally Posted by Just Looking

Does your brother live at home?

I don't know the situation with your parents, so it's difficult to offer a lot of advice. I am wondering if they know how unhappy you are and that you want to leave home. Do you have other adults (aunt, grandparents, older cousins?) who can help in any way?

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My parents know how unhappy I am but it doesn't make a difference. I don't have any grandparents, and they don't really let me talk to my other family members like my cousins

Am I reading this right OP, you and your b/f planned to run away leave town together?
Did you have a place to go lined up, did you have jobs lined up. Somewhere to live?
You can't run away unless you have a plan of action ready to work on.
I think your b/f has been going along with you, not really expecting this to materialise.

Now the time has come for you and he to do this he's got cold feet.

As for your brother hitting you next time he does it report him to the police he's 24 and should know better.

Can you get a place of your own in the town you live in? You say you've saved up some money.

Running away isn't the answer.

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Originally Posted by positiveparent

Am I reading this right OP, you and your b/f planned to run away leave town together?
Did you have a place to go lined up, did you have jobs lined up. Somewhere to live?
You can't run away unless you have a plan of action ready to work on.
I think your b/f has been going along with you, not really expecting this to materialise.

Now the time has come for you and he to do this hes got cold feet.

As for your brother hitting you next time he does it report him to the police hes 24 and should know better.

Can you get a place of your own in the town you live in? You say youve saved up some money.

Running away isnt the answer.

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Yes we did have a plan, we planned on leaving 6 hours away from where we live with his aunt and she had said it was fine until we got our own place, and jobs wasn't going to be a problem. I don't know what to do

Get a job, or an education for a better job, and be able to fend for yourself and don't let any one hold you back. Not even a guy you love that can't, or won't support himself.