Hey guys, just want some opinions.

I am 22 years old and I just graduated from college, and my girlfriend is 19 years old and will be a third-year undergraduate student. We've been dating for about two years. We saw each other almost every day and also lived together for about a year. Also note that we met each other near the beginning of her second semester at college.

Everything has been good and we really have a loving relationship and although we haven't explicitly discussed our marriage plans, we have a mutual understanding that we both see a future spent together. However, she has recently began questioning our relationship and asked for a break (she will be spending a few days at a friend's apartment). I consented, and I have no doubts that she still loves me and there is no other guy that she is currently dating.

The reason for going on a break was because she hasn't been as "excited" to be with me -- she wants to find out why it is so exactly. Now, I want to ask you guys what is a good time-frame for me to begin contacting her again. I told her that I will always be here for her and she has been sending me about a text a day telling me that she misses me and loves me.

I feel that if I let her just be, she may lose interest in me but if I don't give her the needed space, I may be acting out of impulse rather than impulse therefore being immature. When would be a good time for me to reach her? Should I wait unconditionally until she approaches me?

Thanks for your help in advance.

Hello alwaysbeen,

I think that you should just let her do her own thing with out you trying to get intouch with her. She has made it clear that SHE wanted the break. So I would leave the ball in her court. Let her chase you, after all, you didn't want this "break".

BUT... I would also make it clear to her that YOU may lose interest in her if she takes too long to make up her mind.

Good luck, and remember, what ever is meant to be will be.

I have been in this situation before with my boyfriend except that I was the one asking for the break. I asked for the break for the very same reason I just wasn't excited anymore but I still loved my boyfriend very much!

In my opinion only text her back when she texts you. The less ye are in contact, the faster she will realise how much she misses you and the faster she will want you back and when you get back it will be great, better than before.

So just leave her be until she's ready to come back. After all absence does make the heart grow fonder :)

I find the words "break" & "not excited" a nice way of saying I don't want to hurt your feelings.

Cause most guys are dumb & believe that crap. Cany read between the lines.

She's young & so are you.

What do you think a break means anyway. Friend w/benefits maybe, you waiting around, etc...

I say let her. You go on as if this is done. Do your own thing for a while. Let her do hers.

Don't talk.

A break is often a polite way of saying youre dumped sorry to be so blunt but thats about the strength of it, People who are happy and enjoy being in a relationship dont want to take breaks, when the relationships are getting boring not going anywhere, lack stimulation or are just not as exciting then thats when one or both get the lets have a break urge.

I suggest you dont contact your ex g/f, let her come to you, if she wants to. Although I recommend you prepare for the inevitable if not now sometime soon. Sorry.

Yup.

She has had you & want to do some exploring. With you in her back pocket, until she decides not.

I suggest doing your own exploring now.

Avoid any future pain or drama or bs conversations.

You can do it now, or later. Your choice.

She's pretty much said all she needs to.

Give her what she asked for a break, and do your thing and enjoy it. No do NOT bother her at all, and keep your replies as brief as hers.

Set your own timetable that you think is reasonable, and stick to it, but NO, she doesn't have to be told about it.

"No do NOT bother her at all"

That's the key.

Don't let her suck u back in when her stuff didn't go as planned. You decide now.

You may find that your timetable is a week.

When someone asks to break, then do it.

Wish granted.

Thanks for your replies guys.

She wanted to talk to me yesterday and we ended up breaking off our relationship, as many of you guys have predicted.

I will definitely do my thing but the truth is I don't want to lose her and want to see things on a broader timeline.

She basically said the same thing: that she doesn't love me anymore and she really can't point to why but she cares about me. Complacency on my part and fear of commitment on her part is what my brain tells me.

She just texted me today morning saying that she really misses me, but I don't know how to respond. I don't know how I will have to respond when I have to sit in a class with her next month, or how to react when we're at the same church. Should I text her back?

For the time being, I will try to move on but I really have faith and hope that we may end up together again once we both mature into our better selves. Please advise me, but please keep in mind that I am trying to win her back, whether that takes a month, a year, or 3 years...

Time to go NC.

Whenever someone says I don't love you anymore, believe them, whatever the reasons. The reasons don't really matter anyway. Its time to move on.

Don't worry about "winning" her back. Its not worth the effort. Let her live her life & you do the same.

Its time to concentrate on yourself now & being happy w/o her.

And no, don't respond anymore.

Focus on maturing into your better self, and see how you feel, but for now, leave her alone.

You don't need to subject yourself to any more words from her.

She has made her case clear.

You can wish, think about waiting, whatever...

False hope is the worst.

As much as it hurts, you have to realize that this is over.

That's the first step. Once you do that, the you can heal & learn that the world is your oyster.

Go NC. It will save you tons of indecision.
Do it. Become unclouded.

You may actually get back together but now may not be a good time. She may need to see other people and to mature a bit before she can make a decision and so do you. It does happen, two people date when they are young break up move on with their lives and rediscover each other when they are more mature and have more experiences. When you have both lived a little you will develop a better sense of the type of person you would want as a marriage partner. The timing is not right at present, it may be too soon for you guys to commit but in time it may happen.
You can't sit around waiting for her, there are other women for you out there. Get out and date and if you find someone you like well enough to be exclusive then let it happen.
If you and your ex are meant to be together then it will happen naturally so move on live like it will never happen. If it's not meant to be you will find the perfect girl for you and be glad you got out of this relationship.
Don't contact her, let her go and live your life I would think long and hard if she wants to come back to you. She is not ready to settle down now but she does miss you. If you take her back she is likely to think twice and leave again. Tell her that you are moving on and be careful about letting her back in your life right now. You need a break from the relationship too although you may not agree. So take one date and maybe agee to no contact for six months then talk but she won't be able to count on you being available and neither can you. Good luck

Don't bet on it.

False hope holds us back.

Don't worry about her. Only you.

Its OK. Not everyone can be together.

The hurt & confusion sucks, yes. But..

That's the way it is. We learn by this.

You are the most important thing. Remember that.

How you live, love, lose & choose. How aware you are next time.

Our mistakes define us if we are willing to learn.

That's experience.