Ask Me Help Desk - Does she love me? Do I love her?

I think I love my girlfriend but I keep doubting myself because I'm only 19. I know in my heart l would die without her and that I would take a bullet for her in a heart beat. The problem is that sometimes I feel insecure because of what she does. I have caught her several times lying to me and although I don't think she would ever cheat, that fear always lingers. She tells me all the time that I am the lover of her life and that she would do anything for me but we still so young and stupid that I have my doubts. Recently I've felt heartbroken because we were teasing each other about who remembers our anniversary in front of a friend of hers and she told him that I always forget to get her card when in reality I have always had a card. I don't have much money since I'm only 19 but I try my best to take her out and buy her jewelry and presents to show that I care about her. So when she said that I jokingly responded by saying, "well I do stuff for you too!" and she said "like what?" then at that moment all I could think about was that I have bought her jewelry so I said that. And at that moment she laughed in front of her friend and said "you mean copper?" or something like that. I didn't say anything else. I know she didn't mean to hurt my feelings but I was speechless. Like I said, I'm only 19 and she's only 20 so I don't make that much. I can't afford to buy her diamonds although I wish I could. I bought her a copper bracelet once. But after that I got her a pearl ring and a silver ring. I know I'm sounding really dumb right now but for some reason I just feel so hurt. I'm just so confused.

Its only to be expected you feel hurt you try your best to give her things and then she mocked you in front of a friend that was very insensitive of her, or anyone for that matter, it's the thought that counts and she would do well to remember that.

I suggest you sit down with her and calmly explain what you've told us here, and also tell her you are doing what you can on limited finances, and that if she doesn't like it, then OK you'll just give her a gift for her birthday, plus when dating or in unmarried relationships, anniversary gifts aren't complusory they're not compulsory at any time, and on limited financial resources she could be more considerate of your feelings.

If she still doesn't change her attitude then perhaps you would be better off without her.

Maybe your doubts are trying to tell you something..
Good Luck...

If you have to ask ; "Do I love her". You need to do a whole lot of soul searching.

Rings and jewelry aren't the things that make a person love you or you love that person.

It's being there when you're feeling down or sick or hurt.
It's accepting a person for what they are.

I would live in a cave if I had too as long as I had my husband with me.

Thank you both for your response I really do appreciate it. I will take the advice on talking about it, and I don't think she meant to be nasty, but like you said it was insensitive. You're right, I do need to do soul searching but I too would live in a cave if I had to if it meant being with her. I think she would too. She always tells me that material things don't matter to her so maybe she acted that way because she simply doesn't appreciate it? Maybe my approach about showing my love is all wrong?

Quote:

Originally Posted by Daanish91

Thank you both for your response I really do appreciate it. I will take the advice on talking about it, and I don't think she meant to be nasty, but like you said it was insensitive. You're right, I do need to do soul searching but I too would live in a cave if I had to if it meant being with her. I think she would too. She always tells me that material things don't matter to her so maybe she acted that way because she simply doesn't appreciate it? Maybe my approach about showing my love is all wrong?

Hope it works out for you. Keep us posted.:)

Will do. Thanks :)
Also, you have no idea how much better I feel by just sharing this with someone. Being a guy, I don't really have anyone to vent to but my girlfriend. I wish I discovered this place sooner