I found out yesterday that one of my fiance' friends is getting the married the same that we are. This totally sucks. Because two of the guys that my fiancŽ was going to ask to be groomsmen are also going to be asked my his friend. Hello problem, they can't be at both weddings. Come on first, they have to attend the rehearsal dinner they can't be at to places at once, and the wedding how is it going to look when two of the groomsmen leave in the middle of our wedding to go to the next. There supposed to be there for us to go on with are new life together and be supportive us and stay the whole night to tell us good bye and good luck. Ahh, what are we supposed to do? Should I let these guys be groomsmen at two weddings the same day. Also what are they going to do, eat and then leave to go to the next. And what if they drink, then they'll be gong to the next wedding that is not safe. What am I supposed to do. Should they only choose one wedding. But how can I get my fiancŽ to realize this? it's only logically right they have to commit to one. Right? I need help any advise is greatly appreciated. Thanks

The significance of wedding ceremonies, who's there and who's not is HIGHLY overrated. People get all bent out of shape over these things, break off engagements, end life long friendships and such when 5 years down the road, it reall does not matter. What does matter is do you love this man with all of your hears and do you support his hopes and dreams; and does this man love you with all his heart and support your hopes and dreams? If the answer to both is YES then everything else will work itself out. I believe that the friends need to be told to make a commitment to one wedding or the other and once they make up their minds, you and your fiancŽ adjust accordingly. Do not make this minor iritant into a major catastrophy!
P.S. I got married on Saturday, and I promise this will all work out if you allow it too.

Best wishes,
Dwalwx

Have you thought about just changing the date? Are the invitations sent, or the reservations made? I know it is a pain, but this accommodation will make everything go much smoother. It is the obvious answer to your problem.

Everything has been schedule the only thing that hasn't been done is to pick out inviations, but I have got the church, cerm. Music, reception place, caters, cake, reception music, photographer, videographer, so forth and so on, plus I got engaged in June 02 and they just got engaged in 12/02. Now what?

You know I think I had answered this before but he needs to make a choice and his friends also and move forward... best of luck

Chaz :)

I am also a bride. I am thankful that no one else I know is getting married on the same day. I can certaintly see where the frustration is coming from here.

I think the most graceful way to handle it is to let these two groomsmen go ahead and attend the other wedding. I know that you would like these two to attend your wedding.
I will also concede that they should technically already be obligated to attend your wedding. This assumes that they were asked and accepted the honor prior to being asked by this next couple.

I agree that the couple should have consulted with you (since you all seem to be in the same circle of friends to be in the position of sharing groomsmen) before choosing the same day. It is their perogative to pick whichever day they would like but I imagine it was crystal clear (since you got got engaged first) that that day was already planned for before this particular couple chose it.

That being said it would be most civil for you to ask the couple if a compromise might be reached. Allow them to have the two gentlemen in question for their ceremony and perhaps y'all could have them for your reception? Or the other way around...

It is a terribly awkward situation and believe me, I have no trouble seeing why you might feel slighted, hurt and a bit angry that this couple have chosen the same day as you. How well do you know the couple in question? If you know them well they should have thought of you.

Let us know how it turns out, won't you? Best of luck.

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