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-   -   The Club (https://www.askmehelpdesk.com/showthread.php?t=493342)

  • Jul 30, 2010, 08:23 AM
    HotPotato2009
    The Club
    Last night I was at my brother in laws house. They were talking about this club that they go to every Saturday. It's the kind of club where people have sex out in the open, wear next to nothing, drink, dance etc. Now I have never been to this kind of thing lol... and also never heard of this kind of thing.

    My brother and sister in law asks if my fiancé and I want to go one weekend. My fiancé said, "maybe one of these weekends" and I just said "maybe".

    I don't know if I am going to be at all comfortable with that going on in a club. Have any of you been to something like this with your spouse or solo?

    The thing I am most uncomfortable wiith is people having sex out in the open lol and someone coming up to my fiancé wanted to f*** him. Don't think I can handle that.
  • Jul 30, 2010, 09:55 AM
    KISS

    Here The Pleasure Garden Club - HOME s a website for a tamer similar club. Never been. There was a much more wilder one some time ago.
  • Jul 30, 2010, 10:08 AM
    TruthSayer0122
    It sounds like a swingers' club. I have never been to one, but I know a classmate that did a research project on it, and she told me what it was like. She said that were really nice and respected her limits. From what she told me it did not seem good or bad, but more of a life style choice. Talk to your partner asap! Because if it's something that he would like to do and you don't it can mean problems. I read a quote from this like 90 year old married lady, and she said, "Good sex is only 10% of a marriage, but bad sex is 90% of the marriage."
  • Jul 30, 2010, 10:24 AM
    Kitkat22

    Go your first instinct. .
  • Jul 30, 2010, 10:26 AM
    HotPotato2009

    @ Truth - It's not something he's obsessed with or anything. He doesn't make a big deal out of going and not going. He just pretty much laughs when his brother and sis in law talk about what happened there.

    I don't get your quote. I mean, I kind of do but then again I don't lol.


    @ Kiss - Thanks for that :-)
  • Jul 30, 2010, 10:28 AM
    Kitkat22

    How would you feel if you were on the way to this place right now?
  • Jul 30, 2010, 10:37 AM
    Cat1864

    I haven't been to one, but I will say this:

    As with anything you do with partner make sure you both know where the boundaries are and make sure that it will not become fuel for future arguments.

    If either of you are still harboring any tendencies toward jealousy, forget going. Even if you don't participate, there will be looking by both of you.

    If you go with your brother and sister-in-law, could you handle watching them? Would that be too much information for the next family get together?

    You might also want to make sure that you won't end up on the Internet without your permission.
  • Jul 30, 2010, 10:40 AM
    positiveparent

    It does sound like a swingers club and they're all over the UK, I believe they're fairly well organised and that those who attend the parties are not obliged to take part in anything they're not at ease with.

    My Husband and I have been invited to one before now, but its not something that appeals to us.

    You and your fiancé don't have to go to one of the parties, they're optional, and your b/f hasn't expressed any real desire to go to one, so I wouldn't worry about it.

    Merely being mentioned by your in laws doesn't mean anythings carved in stone about you and he attending they possibly just ran it by you to see if you would be interested...
  • Jul 30, 2010, 10:41 AM
    HotPotato2009

    @ KitKat - If I was on my way to this place right now I my heart would probably be beating like crazy. I think I would be nervous and anxious at the same time

    @ Cat - If I were to go I don't plan on getting freaky (having sex) with my fiancé or anyone else for that matter! That's a no no! And he knows that I am not going for that! My bro and sis n law don't have sex there either. They just go to drink and look at everyone
  • Jul 30, 2010, 10:42 AM
    Kitkat22

    Things may never be the same after you do this. (if you do) I suppose there are people who think there is nothing wrong with it.

    Call me old fashioned, but I think it's way over the top. That's how I feel.. my opinion.
  • Jul 30, 2010, 10:43 AM
    HotPotato2009

    @ positiveparent - No the inlaws aren't pressuring us to go. They just asked. Oh, and I am def not worrying about it. My fiancé doesn't stress the issue about going.
  • Jul 30, 2010, 10:46 AM
    HotPotato2009

    @ Kit Kat - I have to agree with you on that. I think its way over the top too. When they told us about this, I was like "What kinda place.......??" The inlaws are pretty open with just about everything! They talk to each other (in front of us and others) about who gave who a blow job, how it felt, blah blah blah. I keep that kind of information to myself what goes on with me and my spouse lol
  • Jul 30, 2010, 10:50 AM
    Kitkat22
    Quote:

    Originally Posted by HotPotato2009 View Post
    @ Kit Kat - I have to agree with you on that. I think its way over the top too. When they told us about this, I was like "What kinda place.......??" The inlaws are pretty open with just about everything! They talk to each other (in front of us and others) about who gave who a blow job, how it felt, blah blah blah. I keep that kinda of information to myself what goes on with me and my spouse lol

    Oh my... Can you imagine? Seeing your brother in law naked:eek: Even if he looks like Jude Law:o Nightmare City... Good luck HP
  • Jul 30, 2010, 10:56 AM
    HotPotato2009

    No I can't imagine! And I don't want too either lol. Thanks KitKat. If he doesn't bring it up, I'm not saying anything about. But if its something he wants to go to, I'm def going to tell him what and how I feel about the whole thing and take it from there. I just wish that the inlaws didn't talk about it so much
  • Jul 30, 2010, 11:05 AM
    TruthSayer0122
    If swinging was a must for your partner, but you were against it then you would have a big problem on your hands. But it seems from your posts that you and your partner are on the same page which is a good thing:)

  • Jul 30, 2010, 11:11 AM
    HotPotato2009

    Yeah thank god for that too. He's not too much of a party hardy person anyhow.
  • Jul 30, 2010, 11:16 AM
    Kitkat22
    Quote:

    Originally Posted by HotPotato2009 View Post
    Yeah thank god for that too. He's not too much of a party hardy person anyhow.

    Good for him... I can just imagine the conversation at dinner with your in laws, "honey that was a great b... j.. Thanks sweetie and I enjoyed the whip. Could you pass the mashed potato's please?:eek:
  • Jul 30, 2010, 11:33 AM
    HotPotato2009

    LMAO... that's how it is sometimes!
  • Jul 30, 2010, 11:35 AM
    Kitkat22
    Quote:

    Originally Posted by HotPotato2009 View Post
    LMAO... that's how it is sometimes!

    Oh My... :eek:
  • Jul 30, 2010, 11:40 AM
    HotPotato2009
    Lol :-)

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