Basically, I'm 19 and I've been with this girl for around 9 months, I'm pretty confused about the whole situation right now. I suffer quite badly from anxiety and depression, which she knows about, which means I barely leave the house, whereas she hates sitting doing nothing and goes out drinking with her friends; and with mine. She complains about being stuck indoors and whatnot.
We have a healthy sex life and get along most of the time, even when we don't there is no arguing, we both just go off in bad moods for a while.
But recently I'm finding her unbearable, I don't really know why or how it's come up though...
I find myself becoming irritated by her, even when she's done nothing wrong. I'm starting to find her less attractive even though physically, nothing has changed about her: and I start dreading the days she's coming round, often to the point I end up having panic attacks because of it.
I think I know what I need to do already, but I'd like to hear your opinions and possibly some alternatives.

Thanks in advance

Maybe this relationship has run its course, and its time to end it, see a doctor, and work on your own issues.

How hard is it to leave your house? Do me a huge favor and look up the names of some counselors or social workers who deal with depression. You might want to check into their sliding scales. (Do you have any money coming in?) Pick out one of them, call for an appointment, and go twice a week at first. The counselor will set some short-term goals for you so you can start feeling better about yourself. Right now you need a guide. We're here to be your cheerleaders. ;)

The thrill is gone... It happens.

It seems kind of casual and flighty the way you talk about your so-called relationship and your girl-friend.In fact even a bit brusque.

You say you know what to do.Hope that means,apart from breaking-up,which is what you really want to do,growing up a bit as well.At 19,you are depressed,have panic attacks,stay indoors.What kind of a normal,healthy,happy 19 year-old has this kind of a life?Have you tried to figure that out as easily you have figured out that you have to break-up?Frankly,I don't see any fault with your girl-friend getting mad at you for being locked up at home all the time.

Go out,make friends,get to know yourself,work on your strengths,build a wholesome life and maybe then you can think of a mature relationship.

Sounds like you've finally seen another side of her and you don't like it.

Imagine you met her today. You probably wouldn't have even started a relationship with her in the first place.

I think it's best that you go your separate ways, as this relationship appears to be ending sooner or later.

In response to WonderGirl, I'm already seeing a psychologist through the NHS and avoiding the medication route, I don't react well with it and would personally prefer to overcome this myself as opposed to relying on a chemical to do the work for me.
From thinking about it a lot over the last few days I'm beginning to think that maybe she is a catalyst to my anxiety and depression due to my own uncertainty over our relationship.

What are your thoughts on a break ?
In which we have little to no contact, but still maintain a relationship status. Also would it be best to set a time frame before hand or just let things run the course and me and her (or just me) can decide what's best when things become more clear ?

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In response to WonderGirl, I'm already seeing a psychologist through the NHS and avoiding the medication route, I don't react well with it and would personally prefer to overcome this myself as opposed to relying on a chemical to do the work for me.

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Be nice if we could stabalize our own chemical imbalance without a doctor, or the drugs he recommends. I think you cut your chances of a successful outcome by not giving a doctor the chance to adjust any meds to fit your own tolerances.

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Originally Posted by talaniman

Be nice if we could stabalize our own chemical imbalance without a doctor, or the drugs he recommends. I think you cut your chances of a successful outcome by not giving a doctor the chance to adjust any meds to fit your own tolerances.

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The last 4 meds I've tried have left me vomiting and hallucinating for at least 48 hours after taking even low dosages. I know there is probably one out there that would help, but I think that having to go through the ones that make me react like that unbearable :(

Hi OP if you're planning on getting over these problems without any conventional medicine then I suggest you start learning breathing techniques and relaxation or yoga right now, because you'll need to do both these and more, you'll also need a ton of self control and self motivation too. So I sincerely hope you're prepared to do these things. Otherwise you'll be sat indoors whilst your friends and g/f are out living their lives.

As for you and your g/f I think its time you and she had a long calm sensible mature talk. And sorted your lives out. Good Luck.

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Originally Posted by positiveparent

Hi OP if youre planning on getting over these problems without any conventional medicine then I suggest you start learning breathing techniques and relaxation or yoga right now, because youll need to do both these and more, youll also need a ton of self control and self motivation too. So I sincerely hope youre prepared to do these things. Otherwise youll be sat indoors whilst your friends and g/f are out living their lives.

As for you and your g/f I think its time you and she had a long calm sensible mature talk. and sorted your lives out. Good Luck.

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I've already taken up yoga and buddhist meditation, they seem to help quite a bit in the overall aspect of things!

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Originally Posted by positiveparent

Hi OP if youre planning on getting over these problems without any conventional medicine then I suggest you start learning breathing techniques and relaxation or yoga right now, because youll need to do both these and more, youll also need a ton of self control and self motivation too. So I sincerely hope youre prepared to do these things. Otherwise youll be sat indoors whilst your friends and g/f are out living their lives.

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Thanks for the feedback, fortunately I've already taken up Yoga and buddhist meditation and try to do at least an hour of each every day, I've found it does help with general anxiety but with more specific things brought on by events or situations I still need to take myself out of the situation and take a breather and try it again

Sorry for the double (now triple I suppose) post, I didn't notice the page changed when I posted, it redirected me to the first page o.O

Daniel,some anti-depressants are really powerful and have pretty scary side-effects.Hope you know what you are doing with all the experimentations you are carrying out with various meds and treatments.Is your family with you on all this?Do you consult them during these treatments?

This is one area of your life you need to really get sorted out before you even venture into relationships.Taking on anything more than you can handle right now would only disturb you more mentally.

Go to a doctor. Get the opinion of a professional.

Hi OP, I think you are a prime candidate for Agoraphobia, and I really don't recommend it, please try to go out, the longer you leave it the harder it will be to do it. This is also possibly why you feel as you do about your g/f, Agoraphobics isolate themselves from the world and all in it, Howard Hughes was one for years. I serious recommend you try to go outside, even if only to go around the block, you're way to young to succumb to this condition.

Although it can effect anyone of any age. If you can't do this then tell your doctor and get counselling.

Seek professional help. Please.