It's a novel a friend of mine read for a sociology class some years back in houston tx about a wife who for years was doing and being everything that everyone around her to be.. she finally gets the courage to do things her way and leaves her husband to fulfill what she wants out of life... she doesn't know the author or title but she does believe it is written by a female author... any help on this would be greatly appreciated...

Is it by Mauve Benchly? Could be

"Tara Road"

Go to the web and Google books by female authors. You'll find it if this isn't the right book.