Me and my friend went out last Saturday to a nice pub. We had such a good time! There was this absolutely gorgeous guy who kept on looking my way. So after a while he stood up and ask us if he could buy us a drink. Him and his friend sat down with us. He asked me about myself and told me a lot about him. It was a karaoke night at the pub and he told his friend he wants to sing me this song... "She drives me crazy uh uh uh..." and so he did. We had such a good time! Then we went to another pub... The one time he bought me a drink and kissed me just there and then! Then he asked us to go to his house and drink some wine. My friend went home and I went with him. I am so so shy to say this, but I didn't even have one sip of my wine! He kissed me and it happened! We slept together! Almost immediately after that I told him that I have never done this with someone I hardly know and he said that it was the same with him as well, but he didn't regret it. So I told him that I wanted to go home. And we found my friend, whom I lived with, and his friend there, but they were sleeping. So he slept there as well, because he had to take his friend home, because he went out with him. The next morning they went home and he told me he will call me later. So about an hour later he sms'ed me and that it was genuine nice to have met me and that I must have a good day. He phoned me later that night. Monday morning I sms'ed and told him that I felt badly about my behaviour the weekend. He phoned me and said that it was OK and that he feels also bad. During our conversation he had another incoming call. He phoned me ten minutes later to say sorry about that and that he just wanted to greet me nicely and that he will call me sometime. Two days later I sms'ed him and wished him to have a good day. He replied that hisnext two days are going to be hectic and that he will tlk to me again. I certainly can't figure out if he's interested in me or not. Can anyone tell me if I should just forget about him or what?

Hard to know for sure.

Mostly it sounds like a one night stand,you both had a few drinks and slept together.

One night stands don't usually end up in long term relationships,too much too fast,burn out!

I would not hold out too much hope he calls again,if he does Don't sleep with him.

If he askes you out,go for a coffee or somewhere there's no drink.

See what he's like sober.

See if he is still interested when handy sex is off the table.

Don't become a 'friends with benefits'

Don't put your heart on the line for a man you hardly know.

Edit: I was just looking over some of your other threads,you seem to form attachments easily,step back from the situation and take stock,use logic here instead of emotions...

Ask yourself,are you repeating the same old cycle with this guy?

What can you do differanly this time?

I really don't like asking this question, but as quickly as you say things happened I am going to. Did you use a condom? If not, then you really should get tested for sexually transmitted diseases/infections. I also hope you are on some form of birth control.

I don't know if he will contact you again, but don't hold your breath or put your life on hold waiting for him. He has already told you his life is hectic even if it is just a couple of days at a time. Live your life as you normally would.

I agree with Redhed. IF he contacts you, get to know him when BOTH of you are sober and not influenced by your surroundings. Coffee or a lunch date where you can actually get to know each other would be best.

In all honesty I doubt very much you'll see him again, and as has been said already you need to get a STD check if he didn't use a condom.

Please don't be so free and easy with your body, and never ever have sex with someone you've just met and hardly know, make any boy wait, if he's worth knowing he will hang around, doing as you have you're going to get yourself a bad name and apart from this, you could so easily end up with a life threatening illness like AIDS, and don't tell yourself it won't happen to you, because things like Viruses and such don't care who they infect or what age colour or race you are.

Plus if you want any decent boy to take you seriously then you really must have self respect, all boys will try it on, that's natural, but its your job to tell them no.

Seems you're looking too hard for love, and a steady b/f,sorry but you won't get either by having sex on a first date, all that does is put boys off, they don't want the easy girl for a girl friend, they want the girls who make them wait. Having sex is only going to put them, off you.

Don't expect to hear from this boy again, and if by some miracle you do, then take it slow make him chase you. Show him you're not really a good time girl and that the one time with him really was a fluke.

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Originally Posted by positiveparent

In all honesty I doubt very much youll see him again, and as has been said already you need to get a STD check if he didnt use a condom.

Please dont be so free and easy with your body, and never ever have sex with someone youve just met and hardly know, make any boy wait, if hes worth knowing he will hang around, doing as you have youre going to get yourself a bad name and apart from this, you could so easily end up with a life threatening illness like AIDS, and dont tell yourself it wont happen to you, because things like Viruses and such dont care who they infect or what age colour or race you are.

Plus if you want any decent boy to take you seriously then you really must have self respect, all boys will try it on, thats natural, but its your job to tell them no.

Seems youre looking too hard for love, and a steady b/f,sorry but you wont get either by having sex on a first date, all that does is put boys off, they dont want the easy girl for a girl friend, they want the girls who make them wait. Having sex is only going to put them, off of you.

Dont expect to hear from this boy again, and if by some miracle you do, then take it slow make him chase you. Show him youre not really a good time girl and that the one time with him really was a fluke.

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Whoa there, that's a bit old-fashioned, isn't it?

A female - any female - choosing to have a liberal sex life (and doing so in a safe way) does not mean she lacks self-respect, as you imply. It's not a woman's job to "tell him no" - it's a woman's job (and anyone else's job) to make their own choice as to whether they want to indulge or not.

And they shouldn't have to worry about being labeled or spoken down to because of that choice.

I suppose it's fine to be old-fashioned.. . But I'm sure being judgmental and disparaging of more liberated women is not necessary.

Anneli: If you're clingy as some of these posters say, then maybe it is best that you don't jump into one-night-stands so easily, unless you can handle it. As for your guy, I'd say the ball is in his court right now, so just wait and see. If he gets in touch with you, go from there. If not, keep it moving.

Hey guys! Thanks for the replies! I do have the tendency to get myself so excited about stuff and then get disappointed. I haven't heard from him yet and probably never will. It's sad though, he was quite a catch, but I will stand up and learn from this mistake.

Try not to put all your eggs into one basket,date lots of guys,get excited about your life and make plans for your future.

You may have to kiss many frogs before you find your prince,but at least you lost nothing.

Your right,onwards and upwards.

Hi, welcome to the wonderful world of a bar life. Guys don't stick around too long here, especially if you sleep with them the same night you met them (eek).

Don't be surprised if he ignores you, you already gave him what he wants. Guys today still like the chase-- you didn't really give him that. Even if you used the tired old line "I don't do this often" he doesn't believe you. Now in his mind your well not girlfriend material... to put it nicely.

My advice is to move on and try not to have so many one night stands... or any more. They're kind of scary with the whole STD/HIV thing... even unplanned pregnancies are a risk... on top of that you don't really know who they are-- for all you know they might have a girlfriend/wife waiting at home or they are mentally unstable. Hey well enough of the lecture. Time to move on now.

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Originally Posted by anneli769

Hey guys! Thanks for the replies! I do have the tendency to get myself so excited about stuff and then get disappointed. I haven't heard from him yet and probably never will. It's sad though, he was quite a catch, but i will stand up and learn from this mistake.

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Here is where you learn to slow down and take a good look at the whole person. You don't know what kind of 'catch' he is in everyday real life.

Yes, he could be fantastic. However, the reverse could also be true. For those few hours you were together he could have been on his best behavior. Most men looking for temporary companionship are. He could be keeping a jealous, insecure and controlling nature under tight control when he meets someone new. So, don't put him on a pedestal when you think about him.

I sincerely hope you are learning and have a great time dating and getting to know people.

Whoa there, that's a bit old-fashioned, isn't it?

A female - any female - choosing to have a liberal sex life (and doing so in a safe way) does not mean she lacks self-respect, as you imply. It's not a woman's job to "tell him no" - it's a woman's job (and anyone else's job) to make their own choice as to whether they want to indulge or not.

And they shouldn't have to worry about being labeled or spoken down to because of that choice.

I suppose it's fine to be old-fashioned.. . But I'm sure being judgmental and disparaging of more liberated women is not necessary.


I dont think my advice was of an old fashioned nature, more of being sensible and safe, and if a girl any girl wants to be respected then she also needs to have self respect. What should she do go sleep with anyone who takes her fancy end up with a bad name and that still happens, possibly an unplanned pregnancy and a STD or even AIDS to go with it.

Regardless of how liberated the world is some things like boys not wanting to stay with girls who come across on the first date are still almost as they were 30 years ago.

Yes by all means be a liberated female but does that now include having one night stands? I think not. The liberated female is picky and chooses who and when she will sleep with a male, however they usually get on first name terms beforehand.

So if not the womans place to say no to a males advances who then should tell the male no... the invisible man.

Apart from anything my reply was aimed towards the OPs question.

Quote:

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Originally Posted by positiveparent

Whoa there, that's a bit old-fashioned, isn't it?

A female - any female - choosing to have a liberal sex life (and doing so in a safe way) does not mean she lacks self-respect, as you imply. It's not a woman's job to "tell him no" - it's a woman's job (and anyone else's job) to make their own choice as to whether they want to indulge or not.

And they shouldn't have to worry about being labeled or spoken down to because of that choice.

I suppose it's fine to be old-fashioned . . . but I'm sure being judgmental and disparaging of more liberated women is not necessary.


I dont think my advice was of an old fashioned nature, more of being sensible and safe, and if a girl any girl wants to be respected then she also needs to have self respect. What should she do go sleep with anyone who takes her fancy end up with a bad name and that still happens, possibly an unplanned pregnancy and a STD or even AIDS to go with it.

Regardless of how liberated the world is some things like boys not wanting to stay with girls who come across on the first date are still almost as they were 30 years ago.

Yes by all means be a liberated female but does that now include having one night stands? I think not. The liberated female is picky and chooses who and when she will sleep with a male, however they usually get on first name terms beforehand.

So if not the womans place to say no to a males advances who then should tell the male no... the invisible man.

Apart from anything my reply was aimed towards the OPs question.

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Call it whatever the heck you want. Old fashioned.. primitive thinking... a girl is still going to be called a slut and labeled many other things with this kind of "behavior". Eventually a woman is going to want to settle down, now I don't know many (good) men that would be with a woman that has been here there and back some more.

You can be liberated all you want---- but are you really?

I think not.


And I'm not implying that we should all have one sexual partner and be good little virgins. Hell if you really want to have sex with randoms at least do it safely. If you happen to get pregnant with a man you don't even know how are you going to tell your family? Friends? How about your child when he/she grows up and asks how you met dad. Now I'm a mom... last thing I want is Rachel to be a "liberated woman" whatever the hell people call it now a days... If you like a guy, get to know him, if you like what you see and he's a good guy keep dating him, get to know each other more and then maybe add sex to the mix. This is my way of thinking anyway and it definitely applies to males too.

As for the OP, she's better off forgetting about this guy. He's already shown signs of no interest. And this is what she's going to get every time she sleeps with guys quickly-- if she doesn't like this sort of treatment then she should first get to know a guy and well you know the rest.

Times have changed, but most of our thinking has not. Maybe in the next century.

Hi Anneli,
I think you have been around long enough to know that too much, too soon, crash, and burn.

Guys, booze, and quick easy sex, is not a recipe for a deep love/relationship.