My boyfriend & I have a long distance relationship [3 hours] at first he was everything I could ask for we recently broke up and got back together after 2 days with no contact. And since then he doesn't tell me he loves me over the phone. He used to tell me I was beautiful & the best ever.. and now he doest act the same. He told me he wants me to wear my hair a certain way and to lose weignht. Now he recently got a job and used to text me on his breaks. And he has stopped. He told me he does have feelong for someone else but since he can't be with her he "might as well stay with me" he has a bunch of his exes on his myspace but wouldn't bother adding me. Even though I was the one who made it for him! Some of my friends say just to end it and my mum thinks he is the best guy I ever been with and says for me not to ruin the relationship... can anyone help me please!?

Does your mother know about his asking you to change your hair, lose weight, having feelings for someone else but saying he will settle for you, exes on his myspace but not including you, etc. Why would she not want better for you?

Listen to your own feelings... do you feel loved, or even really liked, by him? Does he make you feel special? Does he treat you how you want a boyfriend to treat you? Does he make you feel included in his life and what he does?

If you can't say yes to any of those questions, why would you want to be with him?

He may be the best guy you have ever had... so far, but it doesn't mean he is the best you can have! Think about what you want... if he doesn't even come close to that, you may want to consider letting him know you have changed your mind about the relationship and that you don't want to settle for less.

Better to be on your own, with the possibility of meeting someone new... than to stay with someone you know is only with you because they can't be with someone else.

Think more of yourself... You deserve better!

She doesn't know anything about that. I didn't want to tell her. I admit I look at other guys, & she always responds the same "Josh is way better looking"... I do feel liked by him.. but not loved as much anymore. Now he treats me like a "friend"... yesterday he told me he met a long time friend he used to like. He asks me for nude photos. And gets all "sad" when I say no and then after he is like "its whatever, that doesnt matter" I feel like he has someone else to satisfy him in bed...

Dump him quick, find a man who respects you or you will end up not respecting yourself

It sounds like he is moving on. He admits having feelings for someone else but will take you because you are there.

This shows no respect or consideration for you. This is not tolerable behavior. Asking for nude photos is lacking in respect at best.

You deserve respect and should demand it. If it not there it is time to break it off and move on as hard as it will be.

And it will be hard to do, it always is. But it will not get easier.

Stop all contact , phone, text websites.

Gain some perspective by staying away and not talking to him . It will be hard to do but will help you in beginning your healing process.

I think this is the reality of the situation.

I wish you well

Thank you all for helping me out... there is just one problem.. How do I do it? As in telling him. Im too much of a scaredy cat to tell him.


He just called me and didn't sat much at first.. I told him about this website and about all the lying boyfriends and husbands and he kind of stuttered and got quiet.. he want talking so I told him if he wants me to let him go and he said he would "text me" and I said OK and he say "bye Lo" he was going to say "love you" and I just said "ok bye" was that right of me to do so??

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Originally Posted by sunii702

He just called me and didnt sat much at first.. i told him about this website and bout all the lying boyfriends and husbands and he kinda stuttered and got quiet.. he want talking so i told him if he wants me to let him go and he said he would "text me" and i said ok and he say "bye Lo" he was gonna say "love you" and i just said "ok bye" was that right of me to do so?????

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Now go NC and leave him alone. Move on. You can do it.:)

Grrrrr ima try it... just stiill a littler upset

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Originally Posted by sunii702

Grrrrr ima try it... just stiill a littler upset

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Remember.. You want someone who loves you for what you are. This guy wanted to change you to make you someone else. You are you and you are probably a very nice and sweet person. Always be true to yourself and the right guy will come along and he'll love you for who and what you are. Stay NC with the ex.:)

Im just really tired of doing everything for him.. he has a mental problem from almost dying from playing football... I never used anything against him even the fact that he has a reading level of a 2nd grader.. I just don't know what I'm doing to make him treat me like this :(

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Originally Posted by sunii702

Im just really tired of doing everything for him.. he has a mental problem from almost dying from playing football.....i never used anything against him even the fact that he has a reading level of a 2nd grader.. i just dont know what im doing to make him treat me like this :(

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You're not doing anything wrong. Walk away and move on. Maybe he will come to his senses... maybe not. Live your life for you. Good Luck:)

He always wanted a 3some and after I left the first time he realized it wasn't worth losing me over so he said he would never mention it [which he hasnt] and I feel maybe if I do walk away he will realize what he is losing and maybe change his ways because after all I really do love him and wouldn't want to lose him... I just wish he would change is ways... he says I'm the best thing that has happened to him. Then why can't he treat me like it? Is he afraid of a commitment? But he has told me he would marry me although I don't think that's the problem..

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Originally Posted by sunii702

he always wanted a 3some and after i left the first time he realized it wasnt worth losing me over so he said he would never mention it [which he hasnt] and i feel maybe if i do walk away he will realize what he is losing and maybe change his ways because after all i really do love him and wouldnt want to lose him... i just wish he would change is ways... he says im the best thing that has happened to him. then why can't he treat me like it?? is he afraid of a committment? but he has told me he would marry me although i dont think thats the problem..

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Leave him and have no contact whatsoever. He'll change if he loves you.
If not.. it's better you know now.

Okay kitkat... thank you so much for all your advice!! :D

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Originally Posted by sunii702

he always wanted a 3some and after i left the first time he realized it wasnt worth losing me over so he said he would never mention it [which he hasnt] and i feel maybe if i do walk away he will realize what he is losing and maybe change his ways because after all i really do love him and wouldnt want to lose him... i just wish he would change is ways... he says im the best thing that has happened to him. then why can't he treat me like it?? is he afraid of a committment? but he has told me he would marry me although i dont think thats the problem..

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If you leave him do so because it is right for you NOT as a way to get him to do what you want. Leaving as a way to make him change is being manipulative and just as controlling as him wanting you to change.

When you enter a relationship do so with the understanding that you cannot change someone else. The other person has to want to make changes. Don't try to make someone change if you don't want him/her trying to make you change.

Have you talked to him about the MySpace issue? Did you send him a friend request or are you waiting for him to make the first move?

Has he given you enough red flags to walk away? Only you can decide what you are willing to put up with.

Quite frankly, I think you need someone who you can communicate with better. Since this is a long distance relationship communication is a skill that is greatly needed and it sounds like you two are not communicating.

Well as I said space sometimes has a way of making a person see what they've lost. Have you thought about this in a different way? He may not be the one for you.

I think his wanting a threesome when you were uncomfortable with it shows there's something wrong with him, not you.

I honestly believe you deserve better and if truly loves you he will not only seek help, he will try to further his education and he will
Want more out of life.

I think by that time you will have moved on and regained yourself confidence. After you are over him completely there will be a special someone you never dreamed would come along.

I try not give up on people as a lost cause. I do think you deserve better. Remember NO CONTACT... Be strong... Kit

How old are you? Why be stuck on a guy who may not be as committed as you, or as willing, and able to work with you, to build anything with?

Just because your mom likes him, doesn't mean you have to, especially since she doesn't know him as well as you do.

The thing is, to be having fun enjoying each other, not having second thoughts, or regrets.

I don't have facts that my boyfriend for a year is cheating. Have a great deal of respect for this man. That's why I believe what ever he tells me. And the reason why? I know for a sure, If I want to go out or maybe have THE WILDEST SEX TOMORROW ON MY DAY OFF , I can I am that confidence of myself. No chance of looking back once I do act in bed.