Ask Me Help Desk - Am I wrong?

Its been about eight years since my mother came out of the closet, and she is the happiest she's ever been. But lately I feel that she is pressuring me to also be a lesbian. I feel like no one understands because at school there's already a long list of bullies, and I don't know how much more I can stand. At the same time I have had feelings for a few different girls, but still many guys. I settled on being bisexual, but that has proved to make me more of a victim of hateful people than ever before. I'm a born again christian, and I was told that God doesn't accept "people like me" because it just isn't right. Could I be wrong or is it the people who don't accept me?

Have you talked to your mom about this? Does she know that you feel pressured by her?
How old are you. You are either gay or you're not. No one can pressure you and make you gay. It could be you are just discovering who you are, that you are curious. Do not put labels on yourself and don't let anyone else do it.

As far as God not accepting people like you, God loves us all and if you are a Christian, you are His child and He loves you. Don't let anyone tell you otherwise.

I'm sixteen and I don't have much of a relationship with any of my parents. My mom and I don't talk much because we don't get along.

You said you feel your mother is pressuring you to be a lesbian. How is she doing this?
But again, no one can make you be gay.

Every time I like a guy she automattically makes it a rule that I'm not allowed to date until I move out. But when I like a girl, even just as a friend, she pushes for a relationship. She isn't like this with either of my brothers. Just me.

I think how hard it must be for you not being sure of what you want. Listen to me, I'm a Christian and I do not believe God hates anyone.

People make it seem as though one sin is worse than another.
I would be very careful about following your mom's directions to fall in love with a girl.

Speak with your minister and remember God loves you and he always will. Do what he tells you to do .

As for bullies, tell an adult about it.
There are laws that protect you from them.
My children are adults but I would never try to tell them to do something like your mother is trying to get you to do.

I really hope you meet a nice young man and have a wonderful life when you're old enough. I also believe people who are gay do not choose to be that way. No one can make you gay.

Remember God loves you.

You aren't wrong. Unfortunately, we still don't live in a world where everyone is open-minded and tolerant, and it seems you're experiencing the ugly side of humanity at its worst because of that.

With that said, society as a whole is certainly changing (for the better) and is becoming much more tolerant of alternative life-styles that were once demonized and ridiculed.

You frame it well when you say that making the choice to act has made you more of a victim, and that's exactly what it is - a choice. Do you express who you are/who you want to be and accept (or maybe endure is a better word) the social marginalization and judgments of others, or do you hide it away out of fear to make things easier on yourself?

There's really no right or wrong answer. While it would be ideal for everyone to express who they are regardless of social pressures, the backlash that one can experience from that can be devastating and counterproductive to the achievement of one's goals in life.

I think it best to ignore those who make claims on God's behalf, or use his name to hurt others. Instead, you should make your decisions based on your own personal relationship with your chosen 'God', and what YOU believe. Not anyone else.

The same goes for your mother. The only person who knows about and can make decisions about your sexuality is YOU - not bullies, not your mom, not friends, not religion.. . You and you alone.

And if you do make that choice to disregard the strict limitations society puts on gender identity/gender roles, then know that society is becoming much more tolerant as time goes on, and I suspect that this tolerance will only increase as we go. So I don't think you should let those who do not accept you make your choice for you.

Quote:

Originally Posted by failurebidesign

Every time I like a guy she automatically makes it a rule that I'm not allowed to date until I move out. But when I like a girl, even just as a friend, she pushes for a relationship. She isn't like this with either of my brothers. Just me.

Does she think you my like these girls sexually? No one can make you gay. I don't understand her pushing you towards a sexual relationship with anybody.
No matter what may be going on between you and your mom, have you tried talking to her?

Quote:

Originally Posted by Homegirl 50

Does she know you my like this girl sexually? No one can make you gay.
No matter what may be going on between you and your mom, have you tried talking to her?

I'm with you on this Homegirl. No one can make another person gay.

Hello F,

Have you asked your Mother why the double standard?

Quote:

Originally Posted by Enigma1999

Hello F,

Have you asked your Mother why the double standard??

Good question Enigma. I didn't even think about that!:eek:

When God himself tells you He doesn't accept you start believing it. Until then know God designed and made us all and loves and accepts His creations.

I am going to use you as an example for a bit. I hope you don't mind.
You are having sexuality issues. Did at any time you decide to start being interested in girls as a choice?

Knowing that making that choice is going to cause you to be a social outcast to many.
An object of ridicule and mistreatment by people who are totally unaffected by what you do
.
Not a single gay person I know or know about ever made that choice . And never would make that decision if it were a choice they could make. Even though they are happy now with who they are.
How do you feel about this?

The question of a persons sexuality has been a battle zone for a long long time among religions and the people who actually have sexuality that is outside the hetro.

The religious saying it is a choice that is decided upon by the non-hetro.
How the hell would they know that?
They don't.

I know many males and females that are gay. Some are my closest friends. No cliche' . Fact
I have spent countless hours socializing , talking, and generally spending time with them.

And not a single one has ever made that choice.

It is how they were made. And for our refresher course... who made us all? Did you say God?
I knew you would!

It is not mans place to judge other men. It is God who will do that. And will do a much better job of it. I will bet my life on that.

Discover who you are and live your life accordingly. Be kind and helpful to the best of your ability to all your fellow men.

And when the time comes you will be taken into the arms of God and then you will know what real love is.

Be strong and believe in yourself and believe in God and ignore the haters. You will find what you seek.

And change your screen name. It doesn't fit.

OP you choose who you want to have intimate relationships with for yourself when you get to that stage, or you're allowed to, I always had a feeling that situations like yours would arise when a child is raised by parents or a parent in a same sex relationship, it tips the balance and leaves the child or children unsure of what they're supposed to do, All relationships are fine as long as they're not having any adverse effects on other people especially when the other people are minors.

There's a reason we were created as 2 sexes male female, it was that we are designed for marriage and babies and the relationships are more evenly balanced. When in M/F relationships.

OP go with what your heart or the little voice in your head tells you, if your Mother wants to be a lesbian that's her choice and who you want to get intimate with is your choice, you don't have to do anything at all ever to please someone else.

As one poster has already said I believe, there was a time when same sex relationships were because the people in them felt theyd been born into the wrong bodies but with the world as it is today, its become more a trend to be gay or bisexual, and I don't care what Im called but to me that's not right, Im also not in favour of same sex couples adopting children either, for same reasons the balance is out, from the get go, the poor children are not going to know if they're on their heads or their asses. Like you are now OP.

If your Mum tries to steer you into more of a same sex relationship, than you want or feel comfortable with then don't do it. You choose your sexuality.

God Loves his children, and knows who are genuine or aren't.

Good Luck with this, and you choose your own life path. Its your life to live in the way you want to live it.

I still feel in say 10 years from now heterosexual will be regarded as odd. I hope not Ive 2 sons to become adults yet.

What Ive expressed in this post is My opinion, only regarding same sex relationships, Im entitled to voice my opinion, and if its not same as others then its my choice, Im not a victim of political correctness and Im also not going to say I agree with or condone anothers relationship, if that's not how I feel or want to live my own life.