I have a boyfriend that I've known for along time, althow we only have been boyfriend/girlfriend for a little over 2months.. he is saying that he needs his space and that he only want to be together like once a week or so.. I don't understand how a relationship can grow if we don't communicate? Now he's almost ready to call it quits and I have backed up from him to give him his space he needs.. but an I wasting me time on him? Does asking for his space a lot mean that he is not into like I am into him? He says he loves me and wants to be with me, however seeing me once a week when we live close is a little mind blowing (don't get me wrong I know men need there space) but what is too much space? Please help I'm very confused because I've never had a boyfriend want so much space and still want more.. help!

I interperate this to mean he wants his cake and to eat it too. He wants his freedom but to keep you on the line when he needs you.

Two can play that game. I would not be so available. I would find things to do. Hobbies, volunteer work, even a part time job, spending more time with family and friends. Anything that would be give a healthy perspective on my life.

This guy is not healthy for you.

Saying you're in love and limiting time together to once a week does seem unusual, but not unheard of.

How old are the two of you?

Thank you for both your opionions.. The whole story is we did know each other from 5th grade all the way to high school and then we lost contact and this last dec (2009) we just started to talk agen.. then it was evolved to use being together.. I know he was marride once and his wife cheated on him and I don't know if he has fears from his past relationships or not.. but he is hurting me,because I'm here now and have not done anything to him that would lead him to think I'm like his ex-wife.. and he is having his son here with him for the summer.. but it's just lately that he is saying he wants even more space( it gives me the impression that I'm smuthering him , even thow we only see each other one, maybe 2 times a week) but now all the texting / calling has even stopped.. so there's very little talking at all.. and it's brief when we do talk.. he says he loves me but I fell that he is very distance.. I don't know what to say or do! I did say that I would give him time and space but it's killing me inside.. should I move on? Because I really don't want to.. But also need a boyfriend that's going to be in my life not out of it.. and how much time is normal to give a guy? Also I am 35 and he is 34 years old.. help!

Sounds to me like he's not that into you.
I can't imagine dating a man that only once to see me one a week cause he needs space, and you've only been dating 2 months?
Give him space, leave him. That should be enough.

Me agen.. more questions, the guy that I "was"with wants to "date" now.. can't you please tell me what I should do? Because to me it sounds like he wants to be free but wants a "for sure thing" on the side.. please tell me if it's best to just cut this guy completely free or should I be friends with him ( but he has hurt me alot) or just try dating him? Why do guys try to mess with girls heads but playing word games? Like girlfriend , dating, Ect?

I think you are correct about being free with a sure thing.

This shows no respect for you. No consideration for you either.

I think you should end this and move on. It looks like a dead end

I'm going to disagree with the other posters.

Once or twice a week is plenty,your only dating 2 months,he has his son for the summer and that's where I would think the bulk of his time is going.

What's the rush to want to spend all your time together,do you not have any other interests,do you work,does he?

Slow down.

A relationship has its own natural course,2 months in and your both professing love!

What!

Let this guy go,and just date for awhile.

Your not a teenager,why do you need so much attention?

What about having fun in the early stages of the relationship.

To be honest,you sound a little needy.

Get busy doing your own thing!

First he only wants to see you once a week and then he wants to date others.
He wants to be a free person, let him have his freedom.
Leave him.

You have only been boyfriend and girlfriend for two months... was this acknowledged as an exclusive relationship or have you just been seeing each other/dating for the two months? Could it be that you thought it was more exclusive then he did to start with?

I think he has made it very clear it was not exclusive in his mind... just dating. Nothing wrong with dating different people, after all that is how you learn about people and what you like and don't like. Only problem comes up when one person wants it to be, or expected it to be, an exclusive relationship.

If you are at a stage where you want to be in committed relationship, you have two choices: see him once in awhile, because he is fun to be with and you enjoy his company, while you date others to find someone who is looking for what you are or let him know you are wanting a one on one relationship only and stop seeing him.

You want a lot more than he does, so I see no reason why you should even be committed to this fellow, or any other to be honest, after only a few months.

You mentioned you want someone you can communicate with, and that takes two of you, and not one setting the terms, and the other following, and I think YOU should have communicated your disagreement with his terms, and not just gone along with it, and be mad, and let resentments build.

He has done nothing you have not allowed him to do, so maybe dating others, not JUST the one that "was" is your best way to have fun, as you find what your looking for, and keeping your options open until you do.

Don't make such commitments until your sure that they deserve what you have to offer, and are worthy of your trust, and are willing to communicate with you on your level. I agree, words and titles are very misleading because they have different meanings to different people, so don't be in a hurry to commit to some one whose actions and words, don't match, because it takes time and paying attention to someone to see the real person, and not who they want you to see.

Get out of this fiasco, and get some good times, with good people, and don't try to have too much, too fast, because as you are seeing that without some good communications, you just crash and burn, and that's no fun is it?

Also, it's a big difference knowing someone as an acquaintance, and being in a relationship with them, if that's what you think your doing.

Thank you all of you.. he was the one that wanted to be exclusive and asked me to be with him.. but now I think just dating would be better... because I don't know if I want to completely cut him out of my life yet.. another major part of this story is that he is a "mommas boy" and tells her almost everything. Now I do want him and we both have made it clear that we both are going to date other people too.. do I let him know about the other guys if he asks? I mean how do I date? And I was told not to sleep with him , is this true?

Who you date is none of his business and who he dates is none of yours.
If you guys are not going to be dating each other, why in the world would you have sex with him?

No, don't have sex with him, and be careful with all other guys, as you seem to go along with the program, instead of protect yourself. Then you will know if its love, or lust, because lust fades, and love grows, without sex.

Just tell him its dating only, and you are free to date others (as is he), and I am pretty sure he won't like it, or hang around to be a friend, or bother building a bond that can grow between you through honest communications.

That's really how you separate the serious guys from the boys who will say and do anything to get some sex, and leave when the get enough of it. You shouldn't have to give your body to someone who only cares about one thing, should you?

That's a lousy way to keep a guy.

Had to spread the rep talaniman... excellent advice! Whether he shows interest in staying around and building a relationship without sex upfront will tell her a great deal.