Im 13 and a girl. My dad died when I was one, and I only have a big sister and mom. I just really need someone to talk to and help me through things. Its all family and personal issues, my family doesn't think ill get anywhere in life and they constantly put me down. My big sister tells my mum all my secrets and stuff that I trusted her with:(
I seriously can't live here anymore! And because I feel that I don't get accepted with them, I usually look for attention with boys, I don't know what I'm doing with my life anymore. Please help me

You have a big advantage - you recognize that there's a problem and you are seeking attention from boys in order to get acceptance. That's a big realization!

As far as the big sister telling secrets - I have younger sisters; I have stepchildren. My rule is that I will keep ANY secret as long as it's not a dangerous secret and as long as the person telling me isn't being reckless. They are well aware of what I will "tell" and what I will not. Is your sister simply a tattle tale, trying to make you look bad, or is she concerned about some of your decisions?

Are there any adults you can talk to? Other family members, a clergyperson, someone else?

13 is young for your sister and mom to decide that you aren't going to get anywhere in life. Lots of people don't hit stride until much, much later.

Any specific problems you'd like to share?

Hi, I am a high school guidance counselor and a mom of 2. You can talk to me. :)

No, its not any big secrets, she has become best friends with my mum and she tells her everything now. Just to make me look bad:(

dcase22: I feel so dumb but, how do I do that?

How old is your sister?

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Originally Posted by J_9

How old is your sister?

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She is almost 16

Well, for starters I wouldn't tell her any secrets.

Not excusing your mother but it appears she's a widow, raising two children by herself. That's not easy.

What is your sister saying that is making you look or feel "dumb"?

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Originally Posted by JudyKayTee

Well, for starters I wouldn't tell her any secrets.

Not excusing your mother but it appears she's a widow, raising two children by herself. That's not easy.

What is your sister saying that is making you look or feel "dumb"?

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I know from now on not to tell her anymore, but I'm scared its too late

Well I used to get As and Bs on my reports and they said it was never good enough, so I stopped trying for them, all I get now are Cs. I have been taking acting lessons, because I have a lot of bottled up emotions I use them all in acting. My nana from my dads side said she would pay for my agent and everything (she has less money then my mum), she says that one day I might hopefully be able to get somewhere, while my mum and sister just say, your not going to get anywhere in acting, stop trying:(

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Originally Posted by Im_not_her

i know from now on not to tell her anymore, but im scared its too late

well i used to get As and Bs on my reports and they said it was never good enough, so i stopped trying for them, all i get now are Cs. I have been taking acting lessons, because i have alot of bottled up emotions i use them all in acting. My nana from my dads side said she would pay for my agent and everything (she has less money then my mum), she says that one day i might hopefully be able to get somewhere, while my mum and sister just say, your not going to get anywhere in acting, stop trying:(

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If you are not doing as well as you can because you have stopped trying based on what someone else has said you are letting yourself down - but I think you already know that.

If you intend to become an actress you will need an education - yes, you can hire agents and accountants and business managers but you have to be able to read and understand contracts, oversee your money and so forth.

Is your dream unreasonable? No dream is unreasonable. Is it practical? Maybe so, maybe not. I don't understand the "paying an agent" part. Agents get commissions - that's how they are paid. I know. I had an agent. I followed my dream. I got good marks, went to college, went to law school - and then moved to NY and tried out my hand at modeling and acting. I had some success, nothing spectacular. My roommate, on the other hand (who was drop dead gorgeous and had the look that everyone wanted) was wildly successful. I got it out of my system, came back "home" and have never regreted one moment of it.

Maybe if you'd plan on some sort of back up career (which would involve doing better in school) and concentrate on your chosen career (acting) your family would be more accepting.

Have you been in any plays? The secret is exposure - you have to get out there wherever people gather, get a name, get your face known. It's not an impossible dream. Maybe your family (and I'm not excusing them) simply is sick of hearing about it.

Sounds like your Grandmother is a good support system for you - and I'm glad! I had a wonderful Grandmother. If I had wanted to grow up and be the Tooth Fairy she would have supported me.

Maybe your mother feels her life is pretty much never going to change and your sister has no dreams and so they resent yours.

What do you think?

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Originally Posted by JudyKayTee

If you are not doing as well as you can because you have stopped trying based on what someone else has said you are letting yourself down - but I think you already know that.

If you intend to become an actress you will need an education - yes, you can hire agents and accountants and business managers but you have to be able to read and understand contracts, oversee your money and so forth.

Is your dream unreasonable? No dream is unreasonable. Is it practical? Maybe so, maybe not. I don't understand the "paying an agent" part. Agents get commissions - that's how they are paid. I know. I had an agent.

Maybe if you'd plan on some sort of back up career (which would involve doing better in school) and concentrate on your chosen career (acting) your family would be more accepting.

Have you been in any plays? The secret is exposure - you have to get out there wherever people gather, get a name, get your face known. It's not an impossible dream. Maybe your family (and I'm not excusing them) simply is sick of hearing about it.

Sounds like your Grandmother is a good support system for you - and I'm glad! I had a wonderful Grandmother. If I had wanted to grow up and be the Tooth Fairy she would have supported me.

Maybe your mother feels her life is pretty much never going to change and your sister has no dreams and so they resent yours.

What do you think?

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I know and I can't keep letting that happen.
Ive also always wanted to work in a zoo or the RSPCA or something with animals, they've always criticized that too. I love animals and nearly all the animals we've had she made us give them away. We recently gave our puppy to my grandparents, beacause she said the 'garage smelt'. I have my own kitten now and she repeatedly threatens to give her away if I don't do something. Ive done natural horse riding once, it was really fun, and I told her I was going to pay and stuff, but she didn't want to drive 5 minutes away because 'it was on a dirt road and the car would get dirty'.

I have been in lots of plays, also, I wanted to make a starnow account, which is like $30 every six months, but they both said there's no point:(

Im just so sick of that though, I constantly want to just climb out the window and never come back D:

Wow - sounds like your mother has issues.

I understand why you want to climb out of the window and run for your life. Unfortunately at your age that's not an option.

Wonder if there's something you could do to get your mother's approval? I hate to say that because it makes it sound like you have some responsibility in her disapproval but at your age you're sort of trapped there, trying to get along.

Have you ever asked your mother why there are problems between her and you? Don't know that you'll get a reasonable answer but wonder if that would work. - ?

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Originally Posted by JudyKayTee

Wow - sounds like your mother has issues.

I understand why you want to climb out of the window and run for your life. Unfortunately at your age that's not an option.

Wonder if there's something you could do to get your mother's approval? I hate to say that because it makes it sound like you have some responsibility in her disapproval but at your age you're sort of trapped there, trying to get along.

Have you ever asked your mother why there are problems between her and you? Don't know that you'll get a reasonable answer but wonder if that would work. - ?

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Yeah I know:(
I have tried talking to her before, it doesn't work. Are you familiar with any Romanians? My mums side is from there, they are very judgemental and superficial. And since my sisters been 'the bad girl' and I'm expected to be the 'good girl' everything I do is exaggerated 10 times worse then what it actually is. I mean, I could get through it until I'm old enough to move out. Im always welcomed at my nanas house at any time.
To get her approval? Well apparently, her mum was the perfect child, never fought with her siblings nor with her mum, her mum was always sick so she would do the cooking and the cleaning.

She is a neat freak! Like, she's over the top, she won't even let me choose whether I want to fold or hang my clothes. To get her approval is to praobaly like her mum says she was.

Hi hun,
If you need someone to talk to, I'm here for you. I'm a mom of three girls but I remember what it was like growing up. I didn't seem to fit in and would have loved someone to talk to me.

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Originally Posted by reesie2010

Hi hun,
If you need someone to talk to, I'm here for you. I'm a mom of three girls but I remember what it was like growing up. I didn't seem to fit in and would have loved someone to talk to me.

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Hi(:
How old are you daughters?

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Originally Posted by Im_not_her

hi(:
how old are you daughters?

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And were you the only child? Or did you have other siblings?

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Originally Posted by Im_not_her

hi(:
how old are you daughters?

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20, 8 and 6. They are all beautiful - I love them very much.

Sounds like you are having a tough day?

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Originally Posted by reesie2010

20, 8 and 6. They are all beautiful - I love them very much.

Sounds like you are having a tough day?

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Yes, but its not only a day, its been a couple of months now, and I have no idea why:(

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Originally Posted by Im_not_her

and were you the only child? or did you have other siblings?

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I had two older brothers who ignored me and a younger sister who I picked on. We are good friends now.

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Originally Posted by Im_not_her

yes, but its not only a day, its been a couple of months now, and i have no idea why:(

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I didn't get along with my mother growing up. I felt like she hated me. Turns out, after all these years, she was actually jealous of me. I was a vibrant child. My mother got pregnant and married at 17. I think she lived her life through me at times but not in a good way.

I feel for you. I really do. Please know that it does get better, you ARE worthwhile and you DO matter in this world.

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Originally Posted by reesie2010

I didn't get along with my mother growing up. I felt like she hated me. Turns out, after all these years, she was actually jealous of me. I was a vibrant child. My mother got pregnant and married at 17. I think she lived her life through me at times but not in a good way.

I feel for you. I really do. Please know that it does get better, you ARE worthwhile and you DO matter in this world.

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Yeah, my mum got married and had my older sister at 18.
I hope it does.

Thank you, alot:)