Ask Me Help Desk - Should I buy my girlfriend a car, or risk things being over

What do you think of my situation? When my girlfriend and I first started getting serious last June, she didn't have car, her previous car had wiring harness problems, so I bought her a Honda Civic. But she rejected it, started driving a rental car all the time. So I let her pick out a '94 Acura Legend for $4500, which she said she just loves. It runs a little hot sometimes, but has been good. But with her birthday coming up tomorrow, for the last two months she has been leaning on me to buy her another car.

My girlfriend says "Buy me a car for my birthday, or we're over"... She has said this several times, and even cut me off for several days when she wanted me to go look at a cadillac and I told her I didn't have enough cash on me that day to buy her an STS. She said she cut me off because she thought I was going to cancel on her, or let her down about it. I needed time to get more money, two days earlier I had just spent $1100 on fixing her current car, and last month had loaned her an extra $1000 beyond what I usually give her each week. But she didn't let me explain, she just cut me off based on what she thought she heard.

She has also told me if she has to ask another guy to help her, the guy she lives with (but says the relationship is over with), then we're really over.

She's back, been treating me OK for a few days, and talking about looking for a car again. I think she loves me, but this seems over the top. Should I have any hope for a good outcome with someone who says this?

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Thanks!

She's using you as an ATM. Sorry. Don't buy her the car. If she stays she loves you, if not you are being used.

Oh dear... cut your losses while you can! This relationship is so one sided and you are being used for what you can give her. Just what are you getting from her in this relationship?

You'll be out several thousand dollars for the previous cars, but better that than to continue being taken for your money. Hard lesson learned.

This is not love, not even close to it... this is being her personal ATM! I wish you well...

Quote:

Originally Posted by Kitkat22

She's using you as an ATM. Sorry. Don't buy her the car. If she stays she loves you, if not you are being used.

Had to spread the rep... but I just wrote the same thing before I saw your post!

Quote:

Originally Posted by DoulaLC

Had to spread the rep....but I just wrote the same thing before I saw your post!

Great minds think alike and op you are being used. I'm so sorry.

Just get out!!

Nothing can good can come out of a gold digger.

Get out and take the old car if you can.

Make sure she does not know any of your credit card numbers, I would change them just to be sure.

Quote:

Originally Posted by Fr_Chuck

Get out and take the old car if you can.

Make sure she does not know any of your credit card numbers, I would change them just to be sure.

Great advice Fr_Chuck... I would also check the silverware.:;)

So she lives with another guy but tells you that's over, and then she demands you buy her a car for her birthday or else.

Ummmm hello there mr cash machine, do you not see what we all here see in this scenario?

This girl is not in any relationship with you, she thinks you're a black horse or her personal piggy bank, and not only that she's not even subtle or thankful to you for anything you've paid for or done to help her out thus far.

If anything she thinks its your duty to keep her in cars and whatever else, she's lent money from you? Did you ask what it was for? Has she made any attempts to repay you?
I think you can kiss that goodbye...

I take it she doesn't go out to work? She lives with someone?

Its her birthday tomorrow is it, then go down to a toy shop and buy a dinky toy car or matchbox one, those really little small cars "toys" wrap it in paper, find a huge box put the little package inside the huge box. Wrap that in gift wrap paper, and add a bow to it.Put a little note in side it saying so long drive safely. Hehe

Then have it sent around to where she lives, add a card to it, preferably a in sympathy card.

Inside card write "See You find another sucker. This friendship or acquaintance is officially dead, RIP and good riddance"". Leave box and card on her doorstep and turn then walk away and don't look back, if she phones you block her number, have no more contact with her whatsoever. Ever, change your phone number, throw any letters or mail in the trash unopened. Ignore all texts and anything else.

Put an announcement in the local paper, One over used goldigger free to collector. No service history, Gold digger, with no gold. Can dig own grave though easily.
That's it. TRY IT It'll WORK.

You know that what she is doing is wrong. That's why you are here.

Listen to what your gut is telling you.

Seriously OP you're being used as a cash machine, and no more, you're not in a relationship, you're in a clear out regime, she's clearing your bank account out, bit by bit, she's greedy ungrateful and totally selfish and full of herself, it's a miracle she can get in a car with her head being so swollen and full of her own self importance.

Dump her as suggested in above post, give her a dose of her own medicine, you can and will find better, much better, she doesn't love you only herself and her selfish ego.

Please don't let her treat you in this way, she's totally rotten to the core, and you'll only be wanted for as long as you're spewing forth dollars on her for her, and only her.

You sound like a really nice guy, so please get away from this leech of a person, and regain your respect dignity and cash flow, whilst you can, I wouldn't be at all surprised if this isn't some joint venture with her and the b/f she lives with, and I doubt the relationships ended at all that's another line she's spinning you.

Don't buy her any car, other than a toy one as in last post, Drop her now, this moment. You're being used she's no more than a con artist. And a taker of the most extreme kind.

Good luck, anythings got to be better than sticking with the leech.

It's amazing how people picked up stuff I didn't even mention.

I went to a used car lot more than once to look for a good car for her. When I told the used car salesman about who I was shopping for, and her situation, he threw me off his lot, wouldn't show me any more cars, figured I was wasting his time. It must be pretty bad when even a used car salesman doesn't want to take my money... I saw a guy trying to sell a mercedes for $2K, pretty good condition, I thought it was a scam but it was a fair price, he was desperate for money, but even he didn't call me back after I told him the story of who I was shopping for.

Yeah, her attitude is she doesn't owe me anything, even despite the loans, imbalance, and even many cases of give me this and I'll give you that where I do my part, but for her part she leaves me holding a raincheck that never gets made up. She can complain endlessly about anything I didn't do, or didn't do quick enough, or did wrong, even months ago, but if I say anything about her lack of honesty back then, she'll say it was her life, she didn't say she was my girl at that time. Huh? Then why get on my case?

I can think of probably a dozen things over the last year that I wanted us to do together at least as much as she wants this car, all were cancelled and never replaced. And none of them would have cost her two or three months of all her discretionary income. Just some time, some kindness, and a willingness to chill, relax, and have a good time.

She'll say "I didn't hold a gun to your head, you did everything you did on your own, you didn't have to do these things, so I dont owe you anything."

But this demand really feels like holding a gun to whatever our relationship is.

She had her poolside birthday party yesterday at her place. Out of 200 Facebook friends, maybe a dozen responded to her invitation. Last week after I went shopping with her for party supplies, she said "You can just drop by to the pool to swim, and get some food" but I told her immediately "Are you for real? You're going to have to repeat that invitation before i believe it." she said she is always thinking of things like that. But yesterday I texted her "Happy birthday, I got my swim trunks on," but she didn't repeat the invite, said she and I would have our own party today. She called me for directions to pick up a $135 fruit basket she had me order for the party. She told me her ex was making some kind of problems for her that morning... I didn't hear from her at all the rest of the day.

She has proven over a year that she has no integrity.

But I give her a little bit of credit: At least she has announced how little intention she has of keeping her word. That way if I do something, and she is ungrateful, or fails to do anything in return, she can truthfully say "Why are you surprised?"

Its good for me she isn't more smooth.

I've gotten to the point where I fear being broke more than I fear not having her around.

Let me get this straight, she asked you to pick up the fruit basket, but you're not really invited to her birthday party?

It doesn't even sound like she's taking you seriously. She's just messing around with you and you're just playing along as her dormat. Furthermore, you're feeling pity for yourself by taking the blame for her behavior.

I'm sorry to sound harsh, but whatever type of relationship you have with her is very unhealthy and disfunctional.

I would say, pick yourself up, quit being a dormat and find someone else that you can have a healthy relationship with. A healthy relationship operates on a two-way street.

Quote:

Originally Posted by I wish

Let me get this straight, she asked you to pick up the fruit basket, but you're not really invited to her birthday party?

It doesn't even sound like she's taking you seriously. She's just messing around with you and you're just playing along as her dormat. Furthermore, you're feeling pity for yourself by taking the blame for her behavior.

I'm sorry to sound harsh, but whatever type of relationship you have with her is very unhealthy and disfunctional.

I would say, pick yourself up, quit being a dormat and find someone else that you can have a healthy relationship with. A healthy relationship operates on a two-way street.

She sounds like a self -centered narcissistic woman. If you stay with her.. you can expect more of the same treatment. Leave as fast as you can. She'll have you in debt up to your ears. Check your credit cards and wallet before you leave.:rolleyes:

I have to agree with what everyone else has said. She's using you. I don't see where you are getting anything good out of this. It's just a matter of time before she's gotten all she can from you and moves on, leaving you to deal with your heartbreak. Dump her and get on with your life. Part of that should include figuring out how you let someone use you like this. You deserve so much more.

She's a user and I'll bet the farm if you checked with some of her other squeezes, she's taken them to the cleaners.

I too vote that you get out fast! You write well and seem so smart, but where's your common sense? I know several nice girls who would kill for a thoughtful, generous guy like you -- and who wouldn't abuse you.

Oh lord! Have mercy. Just when I think I have seen it all, something new and shocking comes up. Sam, what is going on with you brother?

There's a really nice Black Lexus, fully loaded I would like to have.:D
Where do you live?:eek: KIdding

Please leave and find a nice young lady. We're living in a material world and she's a material girl.:rolleyes:

Hey Sam if you're in the UK, I have a few girlfriends. LOL joke.

Truthfully you know you can get a hooker for less than your extortionater leech is asking, telling sorry!
At least you would get something in return. And you'd also know where you stand, and you would also get a bit of rumpy pumpy as well I believe.

What do you get from this sad sack leech? A few crumbs, scattered all around, so that you don't even get them all.

Is she on drugs? I still feel that she's living with the b/f she claims to have finished, with I reckon they're scamming you together, its all a set up.

They're out to bleed you dry Op don't let them, you need to wake up and smell the coffee. Take your wallet credit or cash cards, and get into your car and just drive, as far away from that place as is possible.

Please tell us you didn't buy her a car??