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-   -   I'm still in love with my ex (https://www.askmehelpdesk.com/showthread.php?t=491753)

  • Jul 25, 2010, 01:19 PM
    xCroissantx
    I'm still in love with my ex
    He cheated on me, and I broke up with him. But he was my first real boyfriend, my first love, and the one I lost my virginity to. It's been a few months, but I'm still grieving over this. We still talk and he says he still loves me, and I am still in love with him. I've hurt myself numerous times since we broke up, and have cried myself to sleep on more than one occasion. My friends have told me how much of a jerk he was to me and it was an emotionally abusive relationship for me, and yet I can't tell him good-bye.
    What should I do?
  • Jul 25, 2010, 01:30 PM
    redhed35

    I know a cure for your heartache,its called no contact.

    It works.

    It's the only way to move forward and stop crying at night.

    Its over.

    Time to pick yourself up and start getting on with your life,you will heal but you have to take the first step.

    No contact includes,text,phone,Facebook any social sites,email,gmail and any other way you can think of to make contact.

    Block him from your life and start feeling better.
  • Jul 25, 2010, 02:27 PM
    Cat1864

    Redhed is right. No Contact is the best thing to do.

    You have been keeping alive false hope by staying touch with him and it isn't helping you move on.

    From now on, do what is best for you: Don't contact him; Don't get updates on what he is doing; Don't allow him to contact you; Get active and keep your mind and body busy; Limit the amount of time you have to think about him; think about other things instead; and don't forget to remove temptation to contact him such as phone numbers, email, twitter, etc.

    It isn't going to be easy, but it sounds like you have friends who will be willing to help you. Don't be afraid to ask for their help or to ask us for what help we can give.
  • Jul 25, 2010, 02:39 PM
    Kitkat22

    I'm so sorry for the pain you are going through.

    I think we've all been there and know how you feel.

    The pain is sometimes almost unbearable, but you can bear it.

    The nights seem so long you think they are never going to end, but they do and the sun shines.

    You have people who love you and care about you. Let them help you through this.

    You say you have been hurting yourself? Please stop doing that.

    Time goes so slowly at a time like this, but you will get better.

    You are in my thoughts and prayers.
  • Jul 25, 2010, 03:44 PM
    positiveparent

    Please OP you really must take the advice of others here, its for you own best interest, you must not harm yourself either, that's not going to get you over this.

    Going No Contact is the only sensible thing you can do, and once you do this you'll find life does get bearable and you will get over this boy, and you will heal, he cheated on you, he would have done the same again no doubt, you are so much better off without him, he didn't respect you, or the gift you gave him.

    Move on now go no contact, I assure you it will get easier...
  • Jul 27, 2010, 06:52 PM
    xCroissantx

    Thank you all for your help and support. My closest friend was unreachable until today, and she doesn't know the details of my situation. I also feel as though she doesn't understand what I'm really going through, since she and the first boy she's dated are still going out.
    I just want the best for my ex, I really did, and still do care about him, and if talking to him helped him then, I wasn't going to object. I haven't really been concentrating on myself and how talking to him is hurting me until I'm not talking to him.
    I'm saying my good-byes to him. But it doesn't stop me from worrying, seeing as he's attempted suicide twice in his past. I'd feel horrified if he did commit suicide, but it wouldn't be my fault, right?
  • Jul 27, 2010, 06:58 PM
    talaniman

    No it wouldn't be your fault, no more than him cheating on you, and abusing you, were your fault either.
  • Jul 27, 2010, 07:02 PM
    Kitkat22

    Try not to worry. You cannot blame yourself for anything he's done or will do.

    Emotionally, you need to let him go. I don't think he will change.
  • Jul 28, 2010, 05:26 AM
    redhed35
    Quote:

    Originally Posted by xCroissantx View Post
    Thank you all for your help and support. My closest friend was unreachable until today, and she doesn't know the details of my situation. I also feel as though she doesn't understand what I'm really going through, since she and the first boy she's dated are still going out.
    I just want the best for my ex, I really did, and still do care about him, and if talking to him helped him then, I wasn't going to object. I haven't really been concentrating on myself and how talking to him is hurting me until I'm not talking to him.
    I'm saying my good-byes to him. But it doesn't stop me from worrying, seeing as he's attempted suicide twice in his past. I'd feel horrified if he did commit suicide, but it wouldn't be my fault, right?

    You are not responsible for the choices he makes.

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