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-   -   Is it OK for a 12 year old boy to date a 13 year old girl (https://www.askmehelpdesk.com/showthread.php?t=491739)

  • Jul 25, 2010, 12:40 PM
    pick123
    Is it OK for a 12 year old boy to date a 13 year old girl
    I am wondering if it is ok to date her
  • Jul 25, 2010, 12:42 PM
    ohsohappy

    It's not illegal, but I'd stick to not dating for a while longer.
  • Jul 25, 2010, 12:42 PM
    jmjoseph

    As long as she is willing, then I don't see why not.
  • Jul 25, 2010, 12:43 PM
    pick123

    I haven't asked her out yet but I'm planning on it
  • Jul 25, 2010, 12:45 PM
    jmjoseph

    I say by "dating" I mean just hanging out, maybe going to a movie,.

    Just don't rush things.
  • Jul 25, 2010, 12:53 PM
    Alty

    I think we need to define "ok".

    Is it legal? Dating is. Holding hands, going to a movie, hanging out. No problem.

    Anything over and above that, both of you are too young.

    Now, is it okay with your parents? That's the "ok" you have to consider the most.

    I have an 11 year old, he'll be 12 soon. I know I wouldn't be OK with him dating at his age. Too young.
  • Jul 25, 2010, 01:11 PM
    positiveparent

    I have a 13 year old who to all intents and purposes looks and acts way older than his years.

    He is dating a girl, a year younger than himself, and they are only dating, they know that its OK to date each other to go to the movies and other stuff, however we have advised them that they're too young to go any further, they also hang around in a fairly large crowd of kids their own age, and only spend time together in the School Holidays because they go to different schools in different areas.

    All 4 parents agreed on this.

    So you really need to consult with your parents, and ask if they mind you dating this girl, and take it from there. Also by asking your parents consent you'll be showing you're responsible.

    Your parents can also set curfews and other stuff you'll need to abide by. Because whilst its not rare it is still something that your parents do have a say over and do have the right to set groundrules if they consent.

    If your parents do consent then abide by what they say they will expect from you and what they define as acceptable.
  • Jul 25, 2010, 02:13 PM
    pick123

    My parents already know about it.
  • Jul 25, 2010, 03:06 PM
    positiveparent

    Hi OP, we presented this list to our 13 yr old Son, what will you do if your parents do similar.

    Yes you can go on dates But...
    You might be chaperoned by us anytime.
    4 year old brother is allowed to be present.
    Follow them around snitch on them or tell us anything he wants,
    Is not to be locked out of any room they're in, ever!
    Kissing is OK, touching outside the clothes Not allowed
    No drugs, booze, sex, wild parties, wrecking peoples homes
    No you're not an adult you're just practicing,
    You will be home at appointed time.
    You won't back chat us, we did it before you.
    Holding hands only,Sleep overs will be verified
    No bed hopping ever! Always remain fully clothed, Hands to be visible always.
    If going to other kids houses we want telephone number address and guest lists.
    Proof of 18 yr old to be present.
    Dates age address phone number and parents details required at all times
    Of who you intend to date.
    Still want to date?

    Sign here:

    It was only a joke admittedly.
    Although much of it does apply.

    Some people have a sense of humour!!
  • Jul 25, 2010, 03:06 PM
    ScottGem
    Quote:

    Originally Posted by pick123 View Post
    My parents already know about it.

    That doesn't answer the question. Do they approve? I'd also want to know what you define as dating.

    In my mind a 12 yr old is too young to start one on one dating. Hanging out in a group is OK, but I'm not comfortable with OKing one on one. Why are you concerned with dating at 12?

    Also, what about her parents? Do you know whether they would approve? Do your parents know her parents?
  • Jul 25, 2010, 03:26 PM
    positiveparent
    Quote:

    Originally Posted by pick123 View Post
    My parents already know about it.

    Do the girls parents know, do they also agree to it,
    Have your parents told you what they are agreeable to?
    Have you or are you intending to ask her parents if they mind?
    You do realise you're still a child?
    Dating means going to movies, or to events together, and there should be an adult present?
    Dating doesn't mean you can indulge in sex, drinking alcohol, taking illegal substances, smoking, wrecking other peoples homes.
    It's a way for you to show you are responsible and can act in this way.
    Also always respect yours and the girls parents.

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