I have a17 year old who will not obey the rules of the house. He comes and goes as he sees fit. Many evenings (like last night) he did not come home at all and will not answer his cell phone. He has expressed a clear desire to move out, but I know in North Carolina I am responsible for him. I do not want to whip him since I don't think it would help and it could be called abuse. I have no idea what my rights are with him. Can anyone make a suggestion.

You can't whip a 17 year old and it have any effect. Next who is paying for his clothes, he cell phone ? Does he have a car ?
If you are paying one penny for anything for him stop today.

And if he is not coming home ? He has moved out anyway.

I do not mean to silly, but have you introduced this child to a U.S. Marine Corps. Recruiter yet? Personally speaking, I would prefer the Navy since that is where I served, but an 8 week tour of Paris Island will do wonders for his attitude. It worked for my elder brother!

What is going on in his life that makes him so contentious?

Has he always been like this or is this new behavior?

Also, if he thinks it so great to be out of the house, tell him to sue for emancipation and then he can do what he wants, when he wants somewhere else!

How can he afford a cell phone? Clothes? Food? Toys? Does he have a car and insurance?

While he's out of the house doing whatever, pack up his clothes, the sheets on the bed, his toys, TV, personal care products, and whatever else you pay for and put them away somewhere. When he gets home, ask for the keys to his car and tell him you've canceled his insurance.

He needs to understand that "B" isn't going to happen until "A" happens first. What I mean is, that you should stop providing all of his shelter, food, and clothing, luxuries, etc. until he follows your wishes.

This is disrespectful behavior, and it should stop now.