Hi friends,
I am feeling so embaressed putting these words in here, but I don't have any other way rather than discussing here , since I am a distant student and I don't really have my friends and family by my side at the moment. I have been in a relationship on the internet for maybe one year. They were living in another country having problems with legal documentation and I was talking to him maybe a hour each day. We were in love and he had never seen my pictures, expect for the one of my young days, where I looked much charming. He was like, I don't care for your llooks but your heart is much more important.
Then, I went on a vocation to my home for a month , but I arrived a month later and I sent to him my pictures, without leting him know that I was back. Well, I didn't tell him that because it was his birthday, and I waited the whole month to surprise him with my come back.
But sure, the pictures went to him before my arrival and they were with dates taken,so he knew how I looked like actually. Yeah, he once seen one of my pix, where I only showed my face, and it was a pretty Ok one. But the latests were like whole body pics and in tradditional clothing, where I looked a bit, aged and fat too. I am fat, and I am 27 years old, but I think I don't look very pretty in my pics. I didn't have a love relationship so far, thus I guess am not that beautiful. But, the issue is that he has always been telling me that he loves me for me, nnot for my looks.
He was loving and polite and I never expected something like that from a wise person.
Now, it was one year that we were discussing how to get him out of the hell. And I have asked him for his passport and stuff so I can maybe help and so, but when I went home, we didn't talk about it, and I just don't know what has came to his mind that now, he tells me that he is a bite busy and also works hard,so can't that much talk to me, and today I realized that he has blocked sort of my number so I even can't send him messages... whenver I send him a message it says barred, and I don't know what is all that happening. Now , I am confused, why does he do so? Did he saw my pix and changed his mind, or he think that I can't help him with documents , or he thinks that I was wasting his time, or he is angry for me being absend for 2 months instead of one month? What is all that? I just don't get things, so please do tell me something in this regards. Thank you so very much.
D

It would seem that he is no longer interested in persueing a relationship with you.

He may have only been using you as a ticket out of where ever he was,and found an easier target.

I can only speculate on his reasons,I doubt you will ever know.

You lied or at the very least duped him into thinking you were much younger ,and he may have thought you could be more easily manipluated,when seeing the more resent picture he may have thought the jig was up.

An older wiser women would see him for what he was.

Although rejection is hard,you will get over it.

Know that you are worth loving and deserve having a good relationship.

There are stickies in the relationship forum that may interest you,lots of similar stories to yours.

Thanks honey,
You sound very correct , and yeah, he was in a stage that I can't blame even he found an easy target. I know that he was going thro hard times as an illegal immegrant, but is this how we are going to break someone's heart?
I didn't lie to him, because he knows that getting one documents is not easy. The only way is to get married, but how can we take such a huge step based on a need of that kind? He knew that also and he knew that I am trying my best to do somehting. He has always said that he is not after getting documents via our love , and he always stopped me at some points , when I wanted to discuss the issue of documentation.
Yeah, you maybe correct while saying that there might be an easier target, since I have seen a girl from the city that he lives in, on his Facebook profile. He said, she is just a co - worker and he added her on face-book since it does not mean that much to him, so give her a less important place to keep in contact. I have also was shoked when I couldn't log in to his Facebook, because he has changed his password and I could no longer log in to his account.
I agree, regection is hard, but that is the only thing lift for me on the table, so have to bare with it.
But you know, I don't want to make any mistake, I don't want to missunderstand him and based on it lose my love for him. I want to know every tinny reason that keeps him away from me. I was planning to visit him next month, that could have been our first ever meeting, do you think I should go?
I have asked him sevral times, but he didn't give me his address. Well, I am assuming that he did so because he maybe living in a poor and dirty place, and he does not want to be embaressed, but is that enough reason for him keeping his home address hidden from me?
Or there can be other reasons?
I have his number , so if I travel to his place, I can call him and ask to meet, but should I go for it?

No I don't think you should go.

He has blocked you for a reason,and I believe that reason is he no longer wishes to be involved.

My advice is to go no contact and start to heal and move on with your life.

You sound like a lovely women with a lot to give,don't waste your heart on someone who won't give you an explanation or even speak to you.

Time to let this one go.

I thak you and appreciate your time fully. I will go with what you advicesed.
I think you are correct, he has my number and would call in case he wanted to .
Other than that, why would I bother some one whoz not even interested in worrying for my absence.
Thank you onec again.
But , I am alone. I am a really shy person, so can't get in touch with people easily, the only way to contact is the interenet, but then things overturn. I am so sad ! All day today, I wanted to have some one to fight with...

There is always someone here to give support.

How about friends?

Are you involved in any volunteer work,not only is it a good way to 'give back' but a great way to meet people men and women alike who have to same interests.

Do you have any hobbies?

Maybe something to always wanted to try,a pianting class,or singing?

Feeling lonely is a signal from your brain that you need more people contact,in real time.

Although the internet is a great source for talking to people its also a good way for con artists to meet people,be very aware.

Try and get out and meet people.

If you have close friends let them know your ready to date,you never know who they might know.

I think your very brave and taking the rejection very well,you have every right to be angry but don't let it consume you,use it! Use it to drive you forwards into meeting more people.

So do you know want to know what happened next?
After my failed attempts to message to him, I found out that my cellphone didn't have enough balance to send messages and after I charged my number, I contacted him. Sorry, I couldn't stop myself from doing that. He was telling me that he is working so very hard but it will not last long and he promise to sending me messages on time during his heavy work. He said he comes very late and directly goes to sleep to make it for the next day. Although I can't believe him telling me that he can't make time for a message even. He said he has many problems including family issues and work that give him headaches from time to time, but he also said that he will talk to me soon as soon as he gets time .
He said, if I beilive in his promise, then I must be sure that he will contact accordingly and he said he missed me so much.
Then, the next day he sent me a message and after that noting, as it is the second week.
I was worried for him and sent him a couple of messages like hi how are you, but got no response. The question here to me is that why is he telling me that he missed me a lot and then he does not talk to me? What is all this, if he didn't, he really didn't have to give me any reason and could change his number, it is not a big deal, but I am confused when he says he missed me and he needs to talk to me about every tihng, and then he does not call or even message?
I love him so very much. I love him and I love Egypt for him, every time I hear the word Egypt my heart starts beating as a baby and I love the whole Africa for him and every thing is reminding me of him. I am just so poor:( I don't like any one, I even don't like to hangout with my friends , I like noting in this world. Tell me something please so I CAN get over stuffs that are keeping me for moving forward. Thank so very much. I know you are correct with what you have already told me, but I just can't stop myself from missing and loveing him more each day...

Stop making contact with him,give yourself time to heal.

If you broke your arm you would not use it until it was healed.

Your heart is broken,stop using it to lead the way...

Its broken!

Perhaps he thought talking to you would stop you from calling him,perhaps he does not know how to say, leave me alone!. all he can do is try and get some space from you...

I know this is hard to hear,but he is not interested.

Stop calling,start healing.

See your friends even if you don't want to,get out into the world and meet people.

Keep busy and your mind occupied.

I know all you said is so very much correct, but why would he do that, I am so very much surprised. Why all this? He had so many promises to me. Everyday, for hours he talked to me and each made hunderds of promises, what did I do?
Was there any mistake from my side so I can appologize for it , I just want to know this much. I just want to appologize for any possible mistake I did, he was so very nice to me , so much loving...

What are his actions saying?

Not his words,his actions?

Yeah, you are correct.
I have never seen him to speak about how he acts. But, according to what I get now, I know he is either not interested or he does not want to go on with me for some reasons. But is the reason me? Did I do any mistake ?
I will not die. I know that, but I just want to know the reason, why he did change over night?

I just want to know the reason. Why would he change over night?
He said he missed me like hell, he said he does not have any other thing rather my love. But the next day, he was like he even does not know me.
All I WANT TO KNOW is that what went wrong?

Feelings change,things change,there's not always a good reason,and for you its frustrating.

But the thing to remember is you can recover from this,you will heal and fall in love again.

Don't keep going over old ground,try and accept its over so you can move on.

Well, now it is October and I am no more calling or anything. I just saw him oline and sent him some messages. I wrote him couple of emails when I really missed him . But , I didn't call him, neither did email him that very much. Means, am going to forget him, but still there are occausions that make me miss him and I did write to him sms. But, not in the last one month, I assume.

My family, yeah they are OK, but not living with me or near to me, thus can't count on them. But, friends, I have tried to get close to them. I have got a new colleauge who was a good boy . First, he called me and talked to me and the first day we talked, was for 2 hours. I liked him and he is nice. Then, he kept calling me and since we relate to the same community, we had a lot to talk about. The next good thing was that we were close to each other so there was no questions about our looks, behavior or wthever. But, all this time I realized that he is getting close to me, and he is trying to get closre, but do I have space for another heartbreak? I don't!!
So the moment I felt like I am going to go through the same ****, I called him and asked him for a meeting. Then we went for a coffee and I told him that, I am not interested in any time killing effort. I want to marry and live in peace and relax. I don't have any temper for getting into relationships that are for unclear reasons, or just for the sake of friendship . I don't have any heart for hearing any gossips about me , any conclusions, anyting. I know that we are colleagues and the more we get to gether, the more we attaract public attentions. So, why would I creat a headache for me for just a friendship? I have couple of friends that I can't even meet properly, since I am so sick of every thing.
Then he said Ok. He said he will think about it and we left. The day after he was a little changed , and one time he got angry at something that I said and was against his opinion. He deleted my contacts and told me that he can't tolarate me. He told a friend that I was torturing him. I know, maybe he wanted some times to get close to me and see what is possible for him to start with me. I also know that he was a good person, but things are so messed up since I am NO more interested in stories that are giving me no clear vision of my future. I know I don't have to sign any marriage contract with any one right the next day, but whenever I get the idea that Mr. X is interested in me but he needs 2 years to think about what is going to happen to us is reminding me of all that hardship that I went through.
I am just so agresssive I think . People look at me and think that I am a cheerful happy loving person, who is open to new relationships . But they don't know that it is just a broken heart. I messed up and a missing heart, that is tired of making promises of love stories.
I don't know if I did the right thing or the wrong. But I know, I didn't have to speak lie with him and pretend that I was his best friend ever and could lisetn to him talking about his love relationships with other girls. I am so confused, I dotn know what to do. All I do is reminding me of that horribel story, I still love the other guy, I love his country and I am learning his language. I so much love all that was related to him, and some times friends think I maybe crazy because I am so much in love with the past I had, however not that much realistic. I don't really know what to do. I need some one close to me, but I hate every one who is trying to get close to me. I feel like I am in a promis with someone. I am sooooooo heart broken. Please tell me something, anything. Anythinnnnnnnnnnnng...

You need to let go of all forms of contact with your ex and let go of the pain and hurt you are still feeling from that relationship.

You seem to be emotionally wanting to jump from one relationship into another one without letting go or spending time letting a new relationship grow strong and healthy. If you are still hurting, you are going to be looking for someone to make you feel better. Instead, you will attract others who are looking for solace, too.

Let yourself fully heal before you try to get into another relationship.

You are true, I was jumping because I thought I need something to keep busy my mind and emotionally be attracted to some thing else. But I was hurting myself... I was not interested in things that I was doing with the 2nd person & fight with him always