My boyfriend and I have been together for 8 months now and we have lived together since the day we met. I am very concerned because over the past 6 months he has changed dramatically at first he was all hugs kisses and cuddles and telling me how much I mean to him and how much he misses and cares about me... then after about the 2 mth mark he slowly became grumpy and now it has progressed into him screaming to the point that he vomits even over the littlest things like putting garlic in the food I am cooking for myself. He has only worked for ~1mth other then that I have been the only one with an occupation. If I ask him about his job search I get yelled at and told that I am a harping him and that the reason his personality has changed is cause all I do is nag. If I ask what he did that day when I get home from work he won't even answer me or he will just say ugh nothing so I have to question him about everything in order to find out what he got up to... I am really beginning to resent him and I don't want to cause when we first got together we had the most perfect relationship and I want those times back. I really don't know what has happened since I have not changed anything. I do everything I can to help make life easy on him and I give him my brand new car (which in 8 months he has put ~15-20 thousand kms on it, yet apparently he does nothing but sit at home all day and goes out to hand out resumes) so that he does not have to take a bus,because he does not have a street legal car. I haven't bought anything for myself since we've met because any of my extra cash goes to hm for clothes, smokes, or anything else he needs. I felt guilty cause I used my extra cash one time to get a budget hair cut and box hair dye. All he ever says is that I am greedy and all I care about is myself and I dwell on my past and I compare him to my past all the time.. I never talk about anything to do with my past or child hood because he just tells me to be quiet cause he does not care about it and doesn't want to hear about it and that if I ask him about his past it is none of my business. He has changed so much to the point that I am not allowed to sit near him while I eat (actually I am hardly ever allowed to sit on the same couch as him), I am not allow to snuggle with him while we are relaxing, watching a show or in bed, I am not allowed to hold his hand practically ever cause he is just not in the mood or he is too hot or my dry hands are apparently all clammy. I just don't know what is going on cause he will be sooo happy then one little thing changes and he goes psychotic punching holes through my walls punching my steering wheel in my car so hard he crumpled the emblem, punching cement walls, basically doing anything he can to get out his anger. I informed him that my very close friend would be coming from quiet someways to spend a weekend with us and because he is another male my boyfriend said that he is not allowed in the house and if he takes one step in our home he will lose it on him. Since he is convinced that he is my ex boyfriend or that I had some form or relationship with him at one point. I ensure him I have not, my mother has also assured him that it is 100% friendship yet he still refuses to believe it. Please can someone help me out so I can get my relationship back on track, since I would rather try and fix it before I just give up and walk out of it.

I am sorry you are going through this, but, you are asking, so here is what I can say about what you have posted so far.

He is not a different person now, than he was, the day you met him and moved in with him. He is the sum of his parts so to speak, and naturally presented himself in the best possible light, in order to impress you. Obviously he did.

Once he became established in your life, and his needs were being met (free room and board, wheels, expenses covered, laundry done, picked up after etc.), he had no need to pretend anymore.

What you have become to see now, is how he was as I said, before you moved in with him.

What you expected in a relationship, was not on his agenda. Nor was it, nor will it ever be. For him to be as he was when you first met him, is asking him to fake sincere affection, intent and honesty- and people like him can't do that for long periods.

The mask of the person he presented in the beginning, is now removed. His real personality is what you are left with.

As this relationship progressed, so too was his sense of entitlement to protect his turf, thus treating you very poorly, and finding enough fault to keep you trying harder to please him, while he threw a few reasons (crumbs) your way to justify his behaviour.

Eventually he will get angrier and angrier as you question him, which is essentially silencing you.

I guarantee there were other women before you, and there will be more to come (likely a few in the wings if the mileage on the car is any indication), and he will safely carry on the lifestyle he has chosen, with someone else.

It is time for you to realize the truth of your relationship. Before you allow him to continue to live this lovely life you have provided, consider your alternatives.

The main one of course, is boot his sorry a** out, and don't be so quick to fall for someone with sweet words and behaviour the next time.

Cut your losses, and move on.

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Originally Posted by Jake2008

I am sorry you are going through this, but, you are asking, so here is what I can say about what you have posted so far.

He is not a different person now, than he was, the day you met him and moved in with him. He is the sum of his parts so to speak, and naturally presented himself in the best possible light, in order to impress you. Obviously he did.

Once he became established in your life, and his needs were being met (free room and board, wheels, expenses covered, laundry done, picked up after etc.), he had no need to pretend anymore.

What you have become to see now, is how he was as I said, before you moved in with him.

What you expected in a relationship, was not on his agenda. Nor was it, nor will it ever be. For him to be as he was when you first met him, is asking him to fake sincere affection, intent and honesty- and people like him can't do that for long periods of time.

The mask of the person he presented in the beginning, is now removed. His real personality is what you are left with.

As this relationship progressed, so too was his sense of entitlement to protect his turf, thus treating you very poorly, and finding enough fault to keep you trying harder to please him, while he threw a few reasons (crumbs) your way to justify his behaviour.

Eventually he will get angrier and angrier as you question him, which is essentially silencing you.

I guarantee there were other women before you, and there will be more to come (likely a few in the wings if the mileage on the car is any indication), and he will safely carry on the lifestyle he has chosen, with someone else.

It is time for you to realize the truth of your relationship. Before you allow him to continue to live this lovely life you have provided, consider your alternatives.

The main one of course, is boot his sorry a** out, and don't be so quick to fall for someone with sweet words and behaviour the next time.

Cut your losses, and move on.

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I have to spread the rep.so a greenie for Jake isn't in the works:(

Exactly my take on this also.. he sold you on him,you took the bait,hook,line and sinker.Now you mother him,sister him,and everything but bathe him, and you get what in return:confused:

Cut your losses,move on.Learn from this.If nothing else,stop being so trusting of your next possible room mate and allow things to progress on their own before you decide to make the move to go for cohabitation.

Not saying that is a bad thing,but you should screen them before you end up with another one just like this one.

That sounds like pretty extreme behavior. Dealing with these things is probably very difficult for you, especially since you care about the person. It seems to me that he is obviously dealing with some kind of mental disorder because that kind of behavior isn't normal. Maybe he's biopolar? Maybe you could talk to him about seeing a psychiatrist (though that may make him mad). You might try telling him that you are really unhappy, BTU love him and would really like to work on things. You could tell him that you cannot keep going in a relationship that makes you unhappy and you can see that he is also unhappy and angry all the time. Tell him that you really want him to consider getting professional help, so that you can make your relationship better and let him know that if he doesn't change his behavior and at least put effort into working on his anger, etc, you will have no choice but to leave him.

If he refuses to listen to you or says that he will make changes and doesn't, what more can you do but break up with him? You don't want to sacrifice your happiness for his own problems.