I split up with my ex around 5 weeks ago now (all my own doing) and I don't blame her for finishing with me. Wrote her a letter around 4 weeks ago telling her it was not what I wanted to do but I believed her when she said that she did not want anything to do with me anymore and I was going to move on with my life like she wants to.

Well after some really bad days and nights and some really pretty close shaves at contacting her I have managed to leave her alone and not broken NC.

The time of year is not really helping! This would have been our second xmas together and I'm finding it really hard not to contact her. I thought about sending her a xmas card just to see how she is doing but then I keep thinking to myself what if I don't hear anything back from her and if she was missing me at all then she would have been in touch with me I guess!

Just want xmas to be over ASAP!

Anyone feeling the same?

Try to hang in there, it will be over soon and it is so human to have these thoughts this time of year. Its tough all right, but there is also many things to do, to take your mind off your problems, and help some one else too. VOLUNTEER, at churches, soup kitchens, hospitals, and where they are spreading good will, and doing good works. You can make it through by being busy.

Instead of focusing on the holidays, look to January 1st as the start date to a whole new year, and whole new you. When it gets here you'll have reached your goal and be looking over the valley of the new year free to do and choose what you want.

The holidays can be pretty rough for someone who's experienced a loss. Sometimes I think Christmas is more stressful than it's worth. I get called Scrooge a lot but I don't like dealing with the hassles that fill the month of December. It's really not my time of year. I like to celebrate Christmas in a peaceful, quiet sort of way.

Yeah it is tough.

This will be my first Christmas in 8 years with out my ex.

Not really a nice thought but something that I have known since she broke up with me is unavoidable.

So rather than just assume it is going to be sad and miserable I am just trying really hard to make it anything but. Ive got lots of presents for the people I still have (I love giving presents), I am going to be surrounded by family and friends over the festive season and like Chuff suggested I am really looking to the New Year as fresh start and making 2007 the year of the Skell!

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Originally Posted by chuff

Instead of focusing on the holidays, look to January 1st as the start date to a whole new year, and whole new you. When it gets here you'll have reached your goal and be looking over the valley of the new year free to do and choose what you want.

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Brilliant answer..

Sorry, had to spread the rep..

Look forward to a brand new year where you are free to build a new life for yourself.. Its actually quite exciting even though you have the pain of you loss at the moment.

Just ride the festive season through as best you can and then roll on 2007. I am in a situation also where I have lost my ex through a painful break-up but I just keep telling myself that a whole new future awaits me..

Life is full of surprises, both good and bad..

You can't take the smooth without the rough.

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Originally Posted by Geoffersonairplane

Brilliant answer..

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It was wasn't it!! Just kidding. Thank you.

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Originally Posted by Geoffersonairplane

Sorry, had to spread the rep..

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I know, it's the only fault I find with this website

Quote:

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Originally Posted by Geoffersonairplane

Look forward to a brand new year where you are free to build a new life for yourself..Its actually quite exciting even though you have the pain of you loss at the moment.

Just ride the festive season through as best you can and then roll on 2007. I am in a situation also where I have lost my ex through a painful break-up but I just keep telling myself that a whole new future awaits me..

Life is full of surprises, both good and bad..

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I did this a few years ago after a break up sort of by accident. The breakup was in October. I was hurt as usual and I remember just thinking if I can just tough it out it will get better. I didn't have an end date in mind, just that I would tough it out. Well the holidays came and it was a little rocky through the holidays. But when the clock struck midnight on January 1st this overwhelming feeling of relief came over me. I can't really put it into words. I think in my subconscious I had picked that date because I didn't do it consciously. But I just remember this feeling of relief and then a sort of confidence came over me. Not to say I never thought about her after that but it just never bothered me anymore, and pain of the break up wasn't so overwhelming.

Like I said I think my subconscious picked the date and I'm all for a little help from the subconscious mind but why not pick it for yourself with the conscious mind if you can. January 1st is the perfect date too. That date gives you a goal. So it's not like saying "Get over it now" which is impossible and it's the start date for the year, the month, and it can be the start date for a new you. Plus I think as a general rule most people sort of look ahead in January, where in December most people look back on the year that was. It makes it hard when much of the year was filled with someone no longer around. But in January you don't look back, you look forward.