Hi guys my girlfriend of 6 months is really starting to bring me down... she gets jealous and confrontational over anyone I pay attention to other than herself, (my friends, the kids, her friends, even complete strangers) she is a jealous person by nature and pregnant (which may or may not have anything to do with this) but she always argues and makes me feel its my fault for her insecurities like I should pay more attention to her or not be so outgoing and playful with everyone (its in my nature I'm a jokester) like I'm doing something wrong :(
Ive never had this problem with past relationships and its starting to wear on me. I DO spend time with her... more than anyone but it never seems to be enough and all she does is nag and complain.. I even made it possible for her to be a stay at home mom to relieve some of the stress during her pregnancy she literally does nothing except nag and complain and voice her jealousy.

I don't know why it bothers me so much but my girlfriend gets mad and sort of jealous (imho) of me playing and rough housing the kids.. I didn't notice it until the other day I was powerslamming one of the kids in the pool (they love it) and all come running up to me wanting me to throw them in the pool too.. but when I look up my girlfriend has the ugliest severe jealousy face I've ever seen.. and she is always trying come between us and stop us from having fun... I can't quite put my finger on why this bothers me so much I know she is a jealous person by nature but something about this really bothers me... any advice would help


By the way I forgot to add I pay as much if not more attention to her but it never seems to be enough.. its like she is jealous of anyone that I show attention to other than herself.

Being pregnant is most likely a big contributor to her state of mind.It can put her on an emotional roller coaster. The changes in hormones and the physical changes can have dramatic affects. Extreme patience and kid glove handling will be essential in any dealings about the problem.

It might even be best if you can hang on until the baby is born and see if it makes a difference. It most likely will.

But if you can't hold off , communication is the way to try to mellow things.
It might be the best thing to point out (in a diplomatic way) the things she is doing that are a problem. Explain that you care for her greatly and you don't want these things to tear you apart.
Ask her what you might do , or what things she thinks you need to do to help smooth out the rough spots.

It may be hard, but during her pregnancy, turning the other cheek as much as possible is my advice.

It is a touchy situation and I hope things work out for you. I understand that a constant stream of negativity is brutal . Just be cautious when dealing with her.

I need some more background information. Who do the children belong to? How far along is her pregnancy? How long did you know her before you became involved with her? Is this pregnancy your child?

If the children are hers and she is acting this way toward them, then she needs to be sat down and told to knock it off. Pregnant or not, she should be protecting her children instead of becoming a danger to them. Also this needs to be discussed before she has another person to be either be insecure about or jealous of.

If the children are yours, then you need to back off the relationship and protect your children from her jealousy. They don't deserve to be pushed aside for this woman who hasn't learned to handle her own emotions and expects others to do it for her.

You cannot be responsible for her reactions and actions. She is responsible for making herself feel less insecure. If she is as bad as you say she is, she needs to see a counselor. Her doctor should be able to suggest one. I am certain he/she has seen this type of problem before.

Are these your kids? How long have you been together? How old are you both?

If you have gone through this pregnancy thing with her before you should know the routine by now. Did she act this way before she got pregnant??

Need more facts dude.

He said at the beginning she is his girlfriend of 6 months.
It could be you didn't really know her before you two made a baby. She could be a psycho for all you know.
Who's kids are these anyway?

So what have we got here.

You've been in relationship 6 months
You have kids from previous relationship
She's pregnant.

How many months pregnant is she.
I agree being pregnant messes with your hormones, but I wouldn't have thought this would have an aggressive reaction to partners/b/fs children.

Seems she got pregnant way too soon..

Could be she doesn't like children.

So what happens when Baby is born..

Your children could quite easily be pushed out resented by her in favour of her own child, OK if you're around her and them 24/7 but what happens when you're not, she could be cruel to them unkind, all manner of things.

Could she be trusted with your children or even her own?

Is she having your child?

Id ask was she like this before being pregnant, but did you know her long enough to be able to compare?

Do you have residency of your children?

Need some more background if possible please.

positiveparent, he doesn't say whose children they are. He just says 'the children'.

Dosen't matter whose chidren they are. I would assume they are his or hers. That doesn't matter either. What matters is the children and seems to me they are getting the raw deal here.

Well they are both whack if you ask me.
What adult man with commonsense impregnates a woman after 6 months and lets her quit her job to be a stay at home mom. I would imagine these kids may be hers.
Poor guy he has no clue what he has gotten himself into. I wonder if the baby is his.

Quote:

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Originally Posted by Homegirl 50

Well they are both whack if you ask me.
What adult man with commonsense impregnates a woman after 6 months and lets her quit her job to be a stay at home mom. I would imagine these kids may be hers.
Poor guy he has no clue what he has gotten himself into. I wonder if the baby is his.

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I worry about those poor little kids. What a horrible life their going to have if they aren't kept safe.

True, but we are only hearing one side of this sad story.

First off... I commend you for taking on the responsibilities of being an ACTIVE father in this babies life.

Who cares if you got her pregnant only after six months of dating! That's not the point here!

She could be in my situation, where I am 4 months pregnant and he (the father) up and left me and wants nothing to do with this baby! So good for you.

I completely agree with the very first poster, Martin. Communication is the key. She, your girlfriend, being pregnant, is going through a lot right now. Hormones and such. She as well as you needs to be reassured.

Do you ever ask her why she makes faces though? Or what is it that you can do to make her feel better? Or even if she does like your kids, if they are yours?

Those are important questions to ask her...

Please answer me. Thank you.

Without facts, all this is speculations and a shot in the dark. The only fact we have is that they have been together for 6 months and she is pregnant, so that's a bit soon to have established a good knowledge of each other, so they are essentially strangers trying to make sense of a demanding situation and understand each others ways as the learn to communicate. That has to be hard about now, and I hope he is the strong patient type, because they both have sure taken on a lot from the get go.

First of all thank you all for responding... they aren't our kids they are our friends kids... we have pool parties from time to time and kids are naturally drawn to me for some reason I don't know... maybe cause I powerslam them in the pool it isn't just about the kids though... it happends with anyone even my family members.. for instance she once saw me and my cousin joking about how her sex life sucks (we are close) (but not that close) and my girlfriend saw me messaging her on Facebook got mad and said that I was talking to her inappropriately... guys you have to believe me we have family reunions and I didn't say anything to her nor her to me that we wouldn't have said in front of my mother or grandma or entire family at a reunion.. and I have a lot of respect for all my family..
I don't know if it has something to do with her past I've asked but all I hear is that she had a pretty normal life with the exception that she was adopted...
Its just really bothering me... the facial reactions she has sometimes don't fit her responses and I've asked her abou this and she says she has always had a hard time showing emotion.
I don't know something just bothers me about her emontions or stature as a whole and I can't quite put a finger on it but its freaking me out cause I can usually read people very well and I normally have no problems with other people having insecurities ( we all do) but somewhere deep inside this is scary.. and I'm concerned for our child.. I can almost imagine her lighting candles in the basement putting spells on people to keep them away from me or vice versa.. I know that sounds crazy.. it does to me too but she wasn't that way when I met her... and now she's carrying my baby..

Ps. She doesn't even like my best friend and I to hang out (which isn't often) without her being there wich brings the fun level we have to a halt... I can't breath and know the obvious thing I need to do is to just leave and move on but I stop myself thinking maybe its just cause she's pregnant or something... I keep telling myself we don't have to be together to have a child together but its not working we have broken up about 5 times in the last 2 months but always get back together due to our current living arrangement together (we keep saying we are done but by the time we get enuff money to move apart we are back together again).

Good, the only child actually in the house hasn't been born yet. That relieves some of my worry.

How old is she?

How far along is the pregnancy?

Was she like this before she got pregnant?

You said that she is adopted. Did she ever get any details on her adoption? Does she have abandonment issues because of it? It doesn't mean that she had a rotten childhood or terrible parents but that she could still feel like she wasn't good enough to keep or if she was old enough to know what was going on that everyone leaves her.

Stress and fighting are not good for her or the baby at any stage of the pregnancy. Is she taking care of herself?

You both need to learn more about each other and how to work TOGETHER to build the relationship. I am going to suggest Lamaze and Parenting classes. I also think you need to go to relationship counseling.

Yes, pregnancy and hormones are playing a big part in how she is acting at this moment. However, they seem to be acting like an amplifier for existing problems. She needs to start getting a handle on the pre-existing problems.

It maybe a good idea to go to parenting classes together and couple counseling.
If you are going to continue to live there you need to understand each other and know how to peacefully live together, or move out.
You can be a part of their lives without living there.

Her being adopted could mean she was spoiled and never learned to share and that's what is behind all of this.

So OP was she brought up as an only child do you know?

I know some couples who have adopted and the child they have adopted is treated like porcelain, and the parents drop everything at the merest whim of the child's.

These parents are great but being adoptive parents they don't have the required parenting skills for raising a child they may have everything in terms of security, loving, stable environment, financial security.

However when it comes to parenting the child they've adopted, they're so overjoyed at having that child they don't bring discipline into any area of raising the child, they give the child everything, and let the child do whatever it wants.

Perhaps that's where the root of this woman's problems lie.
She's been brought up as being the centre of her parents universe. So all attention has always been on her and her alone.
Just my opinion.

I think she is just mean. There are some people in the world who are just plain mean. They don't like people who are smarter or prettier or they just like hurting someone.

Sorry to disagree but she needs to grow up and realize she can't push people around. Her rudeness is beyond anything I've ever heard.

God help that little child. Maybe counseling will work as Homegirl said, I wish you luck. Just an opinion.

I do think you two need separate living arrangements though.
Breaking up 5 times in two months is just dysfunctional. You've only been together 6 months.
Once the baby comes this drama is not going to be good.
Support her, but do it from your own place.

Yes support her. I'm sorry but I believe as positive said. She's spoiled and she wants all your attention. You better be close after that child is born, she sounds as if she can't handle children.

Think about that baby's welfare and nothing else. After the baby is born maybe she'll change.