Ask Me Help Desk

Ask Me Help Desk (https://www.askmehelpdesk.com/forum.php)
-   Teens (https://www.askmehelpdesk.com/forumdisplay.php?f=327)
-   -   How do you deal with a crazy ex boyfriend? (https://www.askmehelpdesk.com/showthread.php?t=489809)

  • Jul 19, 2010, 11:13 AM
    SpicyMango
    How do you deal with a crazy ex boyfriend?


    I'm 16 and my ex and I were together for a year and a half. Everything was fine in the beginning but girls would chase him and eventually he cheated on me. After the one time I forgave him and took him back. We broke up 13 times and got back together except for this time when he cheated again. It has been 6 months since we broke up and I still love him, but he thinks that just like everyother time imma just take him back. We still talk, but when I don't text him or call him or answer his calls he gets pissed. The last time I talked to him he said that HE WANTED A BABY! I am not going to risk any of it. I didn't have sex with him at all and I'm glad I didn't. Sometimes he is verbally abusive and it scares me, but I love him. He gets jealous of anybody around me. I would like to move on, but he is always around and in every piece of my business. WHAT SHOULD I DO & IS THIS ALL MY FAULT? I'm only 16 :(
  • Jul 19, 2010, 11:23 AM
    redhed35

    No its not all your fault,you did not know what to do or how to handle him,but I'm going to tell you how as will other posters,its up to you what you do with the advice.

    1. go no contact,totally no contact,that includes text,phone,Facebook.

    2. tell your parents he won't leave you alone.

    3. change your number.

    4. tell your friends its over between you and you don't want to here any news of him.

    5. don't go to places where you know he will be .(just to see if this is working,it will only draw him on you again)

    6.go with your parents t othe police if he continues to haress you.

    It may take him a while to get the message but if you persist and keep to the above he WILL get bored and run out of steam,each time he calls you and you respond it only fuels him on more to keep contact,don't give him any fuel.
  • Jul 19, 2010, 12:52 PM
    CarrotTalker

    Wow the guy sounds like a lunatic, why do you want to be with him?

    You have broken up almost once a month, he has cheated on you multiple times and continues to do so. Plus he tries to control who you can be around?
    So its OK for him to have sex with other girls, but you can't even be around other people?

    This guy has SERIOUS mental problems and you need to get out while you still can. You are already scared of his verbal abuse, he already emotionally abuses you, it won't be long until it moves to physical.

    You should sit down with yourself, a close family member, or a professional and find out why you want to put yourself in this type of situation.

    Best of luck, cut this guy from your life, there are much better guys out there.
  • Jul 19, 2010, 01:04 PM
    Just Looking

    A baby at 16? He's definitely crazy. I'm glad you realize it. He sounds like bad news. I'd suggest you stop talking to him, also. Concentrate on school, activities, and your friends and family. I know you think you love him, but you are going to find better matches, and look back at this and wonder what you were doing with him. You don't deserve to be cheated on, yelled at, or spied on or stalked.
  • Jul 20, 2010, 11:47 PM
    positiveparent

    Please get as far away from this boy as possible right now, You must tell your Parents, or teachers or both about what he is doing to you, or as drastic as it may seem call the police, and tell them.

    He is a danger to you, or for you to be around. You could be a mere nano second away from being beaten, or even raped, saying he wants a baby at 16 sounded alarm bells for me, he could sexually molest you.

    Please OP if you never do anything sensible again go straight now and tell someone an adult someone in authority, Please I cannot stress this to you enough.

    Please do this now, and then ignore all and any attempts he makes at trying to contact you whether via phone text email your friends, any attempts ignore.

    Also always ensure you're with another person, if out, always, don't be vulnerable and be alone when he could just turn up.

    You really must tell your parents about this.
  • Jul 21, 2010, 01:15 AM
    martinizing2

    I agree that he isn't mentally stable and you are in a dangerous situation.

    Someone who acts like he does has the potential of causing you both physical and mental harm. I think you should talk to the police about the verbal abuse and him always being around. That is stalking. Get a protective order. That will keep him away from you. But usually you have to file a police report in order to do this.

    You have displayed very good judgement in not having sex. The chances of STD's and pregnancy are too much for a 16 yr old to deal with if it happened.

    You really need to listen to what all the posters are telling you about staying away from him and getting parents or counselors involved for your safety.

    Be cautious and keep us informed
  • Jul 21, 2010, 07:21 AM
    positiveparent

    SpicyMango
    In case you're worried and thinking people will think its all your fault, its not your fault at all none of this is your fault, and no one is going to think it is.

    You need to let your parents know about his boy so that they can help protect you, no one will get on at you or say its your fault, but you must let them know if you don't you will be very vulnerable and this boy could so easily do harm to you.

    Im not being over dramatic in telling you this I want you to get protection, now.

    If you don't do this then you are going to be in serious danger every time you are alone with this boy, he has problems and he needs help, but so do you, your life and body are in danger.

    As soon as you tell your parents or teachers about what's been happening to you and how this boy won't let you move on with your life they can and will do everything in their power to help you, no ones going to get mad at you or blame you, I assure you of this, if you don't tell them you will be taking a huge risk.

    You're only 16 you should be enjoying your life and going out on dates having fun and just being yourself, this boys stopping you from doing this, and he's making your life a misery, I know you think you love him, but if you love someone then you don't stop them doing the things they want to do, which he is doing, which means he doesn't love you, and he never will, but he could so easily harm you.

    I hope you will do as been suggested here. You need protection let your parents do this for you, they love you and want to always know you're safe, so by you letting them know about this, they can do their job properly. Which is to keep you safe.

    Please let us know what you do about this, and if you've any more problems or things that you are worried about come back and ask us for help anytime we are always here for you.

    Im not telling you what to do, I am just wanting you to stay safe.
    He is a Bully...

    I know you're a sensible girl..

    If you don't know how to tell your parents you could show them this page and these posts here, they'll understand and won't blame you, I Promise you they Won't..
  • Jul 21, 2010, 08:08 AM
    Kitkat22

    It makes me angry when I read about guys like him.

    Get away is the first thing I'm going to tell you. Stay away!

    You seem to have a good grip on the aspects of having a child.

    If you did have a child with him, it would grow up hearing his ranting and raving. That's a fact.

    He hasn't hit you? He will and I'm telling you as one who knows, please get as far away as you can.

    You say you love him? You think if you love him enough he'll change? He won't. He'll use that love against you.


    He cheats? Thank goodness you haven't slept with him. He hasn't
    Taken that from you.

    He wants a baby!! That is the most asinine thing I have ever heard!

    Don't be his doormat! He wants a baby so he'll have a hold on you.
    He will be mean and cruel to a child just as he is to you.

    He cheats and will probably contact an std. Please get away and don't contact him.

    If you don't the future holds nothing but sorrow and tears for you. You cannot "fix him" so don't try.

    Please take the advice here that you've been given. Leave him alone.
  • Jul 21, 2010, 08:35 AM
    jmjoseph

    13 times?

    He thinks that you are his property. Let him know that you belong to no one, and that you deserve to be treated better.

    Tell your father, brother, uncle, someone who will set him straight. This guy is an explosion waiting to happen.

    He "wants a kid"? HE's a kid for crying out loud!

    Stay safe.
  • Jul 21, 2010, 03:30 PM
    cdad

    How old is this boy ?
  • Jul 21, 2010, 05:14 PM
    positiveparent
    Quote:

    Originally Posted by califdadof3 View Post
    How old is this boy ?

    16 by all accounts, mind you that could be weeks.
  • Jul 21, 2010, 05:20 PM
    Kitkat22

    Tell him to get lost. He is a loser and if he doesn't stop tell your Dad.
  • Jul 21, 2010, 05:40 PM
    cdad
    Quote:

    Originally Posted by positiveparent View Post
    16 by all accounts, mind you that could be weeks.

    Not sure where your getting that from. The OP claims to be 16 but I didn't see the boyfriends age listed anywhere. It could be he's much older and playing games. Being a "player" (aka IDIOT).
  • Jul 21, 2010, 05:44 PM
    Kitkat22

    How old is the boyfriend?
  • Jul 21, 2010, 05:50 PM
    cdad
    Quote:

    Originally Posted by Kitkat22 View Post
    How old is the boyfriend?

    Who's on first
  • Jul 21, 2010, 05:55 PM
    Kitkat22
    Quote:

    Originally Posted by califdadof3 View Post
    Who's on first

    No who's on second. He stole a base.:D
  • Jul 21, 2010, 05:58 PM
    positiveparent

    Sorry I thought they were both 16.
  • Jul 21, 2010, 06:01 PM
    Kitkat22
    Quote:

    Originally Posted by positiveparent View Post
    Sorry I thought they were both 16.


    PP.
    He sounds as if he may be 12. Acts like a moron. Poor girl!:mad:
  • Jul 21, 2010, 06:02 PM
    cdad
    Quote:

    Originally Posted by Kitkat22 View Post
    No who's on second. He stole a base.:D

    What
  • Jul 21, 2010, 06:04 PM
    Kitkat22
    Quote:

    Originally Posted by califdadof3 View Post
    What

    I don't know. What? What:confused:

  • All times are GMT -7. The time now is 10:37 PM.