Hi,
I am Riyaz,24 years old guy from India. I am working in an IT firm and I have very serious question about my situation.
First I will let you know about my character so that you can judge what happened to me...
I am a kind of shy person and I don't talk to girls especially unless or until it is very much necessary.
Moreover I am a kind of weak hearted person and I recently feel like having crush with my colleague.
A girl who has been with my team during training got more close during working as we both work on same area.
When she was not with my working area she has been with me for a month but I never felt anything for her.She looks pretty and many guys fall for her.But at that time I never fell for her.
But once she started working with me I started to see her childish smiles and talks and very much impressed. But she started calling me as brother.
I didn't take it seriously but I started feeling pain of separation when she is not around.I started missing her and when she moves off sometimes without speaking to me I feel like dying until I see her messages or call.
She calls me brother but she looks like being interested with me.. she laughs and giggles at my silly jokes and she comes and sits near me without any reason and she talks to me in a very friendly manner.She is a kind of jovial and easy going girl and she speaks to all.
May be I would have mistaken her.But the thing is I am in utter confusion am I having crush with that girl?Who calls me brother?
I am feeling very bad about this.I can act as her brother but what can I do to my inner feelings.
Now at this situation I can never approach her and I can't decide who is she to me??
Please help me out I am getting distracted from my normal life and getting sick and lagging in my job also.This has affected me a lot and all this are happening only from past 2 months so I want to overcome this in initial stage itself.
Please tell what can I do?I am ready to meet mental physician also if required.If u could help me I will be happy and pray for you.
Thanks and Regards,
Riyaz

Relax guy, your just smitten by being around a very attractive girl is all and maybe you have never dealt with these feelings before, but they are normal.

It doesn't mean love, just an attraction built on being familiar with her since you do work together. This is the normal feelings of a friendship where you start to care for another human being.

As you become more experienced with interacting with others you will have these feelings for many that you meet.

I think the trick is not to get carried away by how strong those feelings are, and how distracting they can be. As you get use to them, they will be easier to deal with, and you may even be comfortable with having them since they are a part of you anyway. Experience will teach you how to deal with them though, as you mature and understand yourself better. That's part of the process of growing and learning about YOURSELF, and others that live in this world.

I think you being shy, which is not a bad thing, just have not had a lot of experience coping with those feelings but I assure you, they are normal for us humans as we encounter others.

Thank you for your kind advise...
As u said in a few weeks when I didn't had much interaction with that girl or had chance of being together was less I started feeling okay and I wasn't feeling bad of losing her but for a past 2 weeks I am meeting her in work for a little long time and Now again I feel like missing her and I am totally out of my mind.I feel like I will fall for her which I don't want to happen and It is a shame to tell like this ehen she calls be brother.
Kindly advise can I meet a pshycologist?

Thanks and Regards...
Riya

Do you have a happy healthy social life outside of work? That helps but sooner or later you will have to learn to cope with your feelings and maybe for a while longer you have to do other things with other people besides spend so much time at work with her.

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Originally Posted by riya800

. . . But the thing is I am in utter confusion am I having crush with that girl?Who calls me brother??
Riyaz

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Yes, it is confusing, but there is a good reason for it.

When a girl calls you a brother, or tells you something like "I feel like I can tell you anything", you have been friend-zoned, i.e. she's not romantically interested, just Platonically.

She comes and sits next to you because she is comfortable around you 'cause like she said, you're like a brother to her and she can trust you.

Although you work together, if there's a possibility to avoid her, then do that. Don't see her, don't talk to her, and you'll get over her relatively quickly. The "love" will go as quickly as it came.

Thank you guys for helpful advises,
I hope you people have understood the real situation.Actually I am living alone in this city away from my family and as I am suffering pain because of her I don even have any one to tell about this and cry.
I feel very ashamed to tell that I am attracted to this girl and she calls me bro.
May be I am attracted to her beauty or simply because I have never been so close with any girls in my entire life...
But whatsoever currently I am feeling immense pain.. I became like psycho thinking 24 hours about my situation and complexity of the scenario,
Some times I would feel like declaring her as sister also openly to her so that I can start feeling like that.
But I can't do that..
Every second I am awake I have this thing eating my mind and life and all my normal life is disrupted and I lost hopes in life almost to the extent that I would rather prefer death instead living with this chaotic complex relationship error.
Could you suggest me any medical therapy with a counsellor one on one so that I may feel 1% free from this pain because of any medical therapy.
Sorry to post again and again on this.
That's bcoz I feel that much pain that God only knows its intensity.
Thanks and Regards,
Riyaz

My friend we have all felt that pain and know first hand what you are going through. Helps to have friends that can support you but maybe that's why you are going through this. Maybe its showing you what you need to do for yourself.

Build a life that you enjoy with friends and activities that make you happy. Then you won't be alone or unhappy.