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-   -   Is it wrong for a 19 year old to like a 14 year old? (https://www.askmehelpdesk.com/showthread.php?t=488990)

  • Jul 16, 2010, 05:50 PM
    Gingeee
    Is it wrong for a 19 year old to like a 14 year old?
    I'm a 19 year old girl in the UK and I like a 14 year old boy... Is it wrong?
  • Jul 16, 2010, 06:12 PM
    jmjoseph

    In the eyes of society, and possibly the law, yes.

    You are considered an adult. He is still considered a child.

    In ten years, a five year age difference won't be so taboo.

    Do yourself a favor and forget it.
  • Jul 16, 2010, 06:14 PM
    Kitkat22

    Yes it is. He's a child and you are an adult. I hope you don't pursue this relationship. It isn't right
  • Jul 16, 2010, 06:20 PM
    cdad

    Like as in friends no. Nothing wrong with that. Like as in boyfriend girlfriend interest. That's wrong.
  • Jul 16, 2010, 07:47 PM
    Homegirl 50

    As in friends? What in the world would you have in common with a 14 year old?
    You're an adult, he's a kid.
    Find a guy your own age.
  • Jul 16, 2010, 07:49 PM
    Kitkat22

    Homegirl and the others are right. You are asking for big trouble.
  • Jul 17, 2010, 12:26 AM
    Gingeee
    Quote:

    Originally Posted by Homegirl 50 View Post
    As in friends? What in the world would you have in common with a 14 year old?
    You're an adult, he's a kid.
    Find a guy your own age.

    We actually have quite a lot in common... How else would
    We even have become friends in the first place?
  • Jul 17, 2010, 04:33 AM
    ScottGem
    Quote:

    Originally Posted by Gingeee View Post
    we actually have quite a lot in common... How else would
    we even have become friends in the first place?

    What, do you have in common? Do you both like video games? Are you both partial to wine spritzers?

    Give me a break here. You are an adult. You should be concerned with making a living or developing a career. He is a child. He is concerned with baseball cards and video games and the like. The two of you are at VERY different points in your lives. Maybe you do have some interests in common, but not things you build a relationship on.

    And what do you think his parents are going to think about this. How did you meet anyway? You need to play in your own field.
  • Jul 17, 2010, 06:00 AM
    Gingeee

    We play hockey at the same hockey club and are in the same musical theatre class... So I am working on my career, as is he! I wasn't even considering a relationship I was just wondering if I should feel bad for liking him- I am quite obviously not going to act on
    My feelings!
  • Jul 17, 2010, 06:02 AM
    J_9

    He's only 14, how is he working on his career?
  • Jul 17, 2010, 06:05 AM
    Just_Another_Lemming

    Gingee, it appears you are trying to find someone here who will tell you that what you are contemplating is okay. It is not. From a legal aspect, if you become involved in an inappropriate relationship with him (and you know what I am talking about) & his parents find out, you will find yourself being arrested and charged with a crime (rape, sexual misconduct, inappropriate sexual misconduct with a child, whatever charges they can & WILL come up with to throw you into jail) against a minor.

    So, you need to ask yourself: is this relationship worth pursuing if it means completely screwing up the rest of your life? Because that more than likely will be the result of this infatuation of yours.

    He may enjoy your attention for now but WHEN you get caught, he won't wait around for you to get out of jail and his parents will ensure that you will not have any contact with him in the future. So, you will be left with no boyfriend, you won't be able to get a job because you will have a child felony charge against you, and I don't know if you have to register as a sex offender in the U.K. but where ever you move to, people will know you like to play around with young boys.

    Is that enough of a reality check for you or would you like me to continue?

    Stay away from underage boys. Find someone your own age. If, in 5 years, the boy comes around looking for a date and you are not attached and still interested, then date him. But at this point in time, you need your head to rule you here, not your heart or any other body organs/parts.

    **edit** I wrote this prior to reading your last post.
  • Jul 17, 2010, 06:36 AM
    Homegirl 50

    What are you going to do if this 14 year old boy starts having feeling for you? And that can very well happen. He is at the age where an older girl such as yourself would be a real turn on to him. He is bound to think you feel the same way about him, why else would you be interested in him.

    The whole thing is just weird and inappropriate. Find some friends your own age.
  • Jul 17, 2010, 09:56 AM
    Kitkat22

    Leave the boy alone or you are going to find yourself in a world of trouble. Kids talk among themselves and he will too.
  • Jul 17, 2010, 10:20 AM
    Kitkat22

    What in the world do you have in common? Tell us. Do you push him on the swings at recess? Maybe you both like Skittles or walking in the rain. Leave the kid alone.
  • Jul 17, 2010, 01:39 PM
    Gingeee
    Quote:

    Originally Posted by J_9 View Post
    He's only 14, how is he working on his career?

    He's going into musical theatre... And if he wants to be the best ye needs to get into the performing arts college at 16
  • Jul 17, 2010, 01:43 PM
    Gingeee

    Can you please not Lear comments if your just going to tell me that I can't have anything in common with him because we do! Also can people stop presuming I'm going to sleep with this boy...
  • Jul 17, 2010, 01:48 PM
    Kitkat22
    Quote:

    Originally Posted by Gingeee View Post
    Can you please not Lear comments if your just going to tell me that I can't have anything in common with him because we do! Also can people stop presuming I'm going to sleep with this boy...

    You don't have anything in common. You are nineteen. You ask for advice , we give it. If you're waiting for someone to tell you it's all right,
    I don't think you're going to find it here.
  • Jul 17, 2010, 02:07 PM
    Alty
    Quote:

    Originally Posted by Gingeee View Post
    Can you please not Lear comments if your just going to tell me that I can't have anything in common with him because we do! Also can people stop presuming I'm going to sleep with this boy...

    At your age a 5 year age gap may as well be 40.

    He's a child, you're not.

    If you have a lot in common, he's either very mature for 14, or you're very immature for 19.

    If you're really interested in him, wait 6 years. When he's 20 and you're 25 it won't be that big a gap, and you'll both be adults and able to make mature decisions.

    This is just wrong on so many levels right now.
  • Jul 17, 2010, 02:12 PM
    Just_Another_Lemming
    Quote:

    Originally Posted by Kitkat22 View Post
    You don't have anything in common. You are nineteen. You ask for advice , we give it. If you're waiting for someone to tell you it's alright,
    I don't think you're going to find it here.

    KK, I agree.

    Gingee, so you have things in common with this boy. SO WHAT? That tells me that at 19 years old, you may not be as mature as you should be. Rarely does a woman your age contemplate being mere friends with a 14 yo boy. They can't be bothered with children. So, do you have a maturity issue? Or are you afraid of men your own age? Do you feel this boy is safe? Something isn't adding up here.

    One thing I do know: the fact that you are showing up here now denying that you have absolutely no sexual interest in this boy tells me that you are in deep denial. Why would you even bother asking your initial question if all you were interested in was a platonic friendship with this boy? Why waste your time with something so innocent? Because, that is not what your intentions are. Stop this nonsense now. No one here (that is a responsible adult) is going to tell you that it is okay to be friends with this kid.
  • Jul 17, 2010, 03:52 PM
    Homegirl 50
    Quote:

    Originally Posted by Gingeee View Post
    Can you please not Lear comments if your just going to tell me that I can't have anything in common with him because we do! Also can people stop presuming I'm going to sleep with this boy...

    You came here for advice, you're getting it.
    I must say I don't know or have I ever known any 19 year old girl who wants to pal around with a 14 year old boy. Do any of your friends?
    Do you feel safe with this kid? Is that what this "friendship is about? This boy is approaching puberty if he's not already there and believe me it will show sooner or later. What are you going to do then.
    You are too old to be paling around with him. This needs to stop. It's not healthy for either of you.

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